Nick Song Fic Ch #8 - "Angel"- Now up!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Smokey, Apr 29, 2009.

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  1. Smokey

    Smokey Nickaholic Moderator

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

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    Just a friendly reminder, all of the authors are asked to provide feedback for each of the stories. It doesn't have to be really detailed or long, but a few words about what you liked about the story will do. :)

    I mean, it's nothing we can make you do, but it's a nice courtesy to your fellow writers. I know a lot of people are taking their time to read each of the stories and provide a few reviews at a time, and that's fine. I just want to make sure no one is left out of being able to provide reviews or receive reviews for their fic. We all like to get feedback on our stories. :)

     
  2. Jacqui

    Jacqui Police Officer

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    Last couple of reviews:

    So The World Will Know: Loved the scene in the hospital room when he woke up after being cleaned up and treated - something I definitely would have loved to see on-screen. You wrote the interaction between these three characters well. Of course Catherine and Warrick wouldn't like that he was going, but it's an integral part of Nick's healing to accept that what happened to him was completely random, and to understand why. It's also an integral part of Nick's character to try to help others, and he needs to prove that that part of him isn't changed. Catherine of course would notice Nick's eyes, first in the beginning when he opened them, freshly scarred, and then at the end when he'd gotten the closure he was searching for. Nice way to wrap it up!

    Brian: This is a sad story, particularly for Brian, but it ends with a sense of hope. I like seeing Nick at this stage of life; he knows who he is but he's still relatively green. Sneaky of you to be unclear about which of the brothers has died. I like that Nick stuck to his guns even in the face of his partner's cynicism - very Nick-like. Good job!

    Starfish: Aw, I love to see Nick 'n Rick! I really miss them and you wrote their banter very well. Of course Nick would want a meaningful name for his pet and of course Warrick would find a way to tease him about it. :) A nice uplifting piece - left me with a smile on my face!

    You'll Never Change Things: Wow, we've had all ages of Nick for this challenge! This was an interesting one; Nick's come so far but thinks he's stuck in pergatory, old and jaded feeling like nothing matters anymore. And then - a ray of sunshine in the form of Cassie McBride! She really has no idea the impact that her story had on him... And I think really, in the end, it'll be Cassie that teaches Nick something rather than the other way around. She'll be able to remind him that life is about more than solving crimes and seeing the seemy underbelly of humanity. That was the sense of hope I got reading this, even though Nick kept saying that Cassie would be ruined by the profession. Good job of showing, not telling. I really enjoyed this story.

    From Sorrow, Born Hope: OMG I need the tissue... This was really hard to read once it became clear that it was Nick's funeral. Catherine's speech was just heart-wrenching, and I love that it was Brass that read it for her when she couldn't. This was really beautifully written and despite how sad it was, the end gives us a reminder of how many people Nick touched during his life, and gives us a sense that his hope will live on. Great work!
     
  3. egeria

    egeria This mod is Ready for the Laughing Gas!

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    Hey guys this is just a head's up to let you know one more story has been added to the challenge :D

    If you refresh your cache, it's in the middle of the stories, between In His Sister's Eyes and So The World Will Know.

    :thumbsup:
     
  4. NickyFan

    NickyFan Coroner

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    I've got two reviews before I go writing my exam...

    Help And Hope

    I really liked the beginning of this story, with Nick landing on the floor :lol: And I could imagine him thinking OMG what did I do???
    You really let Nick come out of his revierie in that story. It was time that he opened up to somebody.

    The story flow was good and the phrase "What are you... a shrink or something?" was really funny. It sounded like something Nick would say :)

    Somehow I think that it was a good thing that you let a stranger talking to Nick. I couldn't imagine him talking all the things out with Catherine or anyone alse from the team. He would just feel embarassed...

    With Hope you were able to gave Nick some security and the chanceto get rid of all his demons, something the guy absolutely deserves. Really good job on this one, sad that I'm not sure who you are...

    In His Sister's Eyes (By Saving Just This One)

    Awww that was one great way to use the lyrics in the story :) Very creative and believable... as ringtone... great, I really like that idea :D

    I love stories where we get to know more about Nicks childhood or early adulthood, so this story was just great for me :) How you described the pictures on the wall was really good. Photos on a wall let one know how quickly time passes by and I can tell that I always love to take a look of old photos to wake up some sleeping memories.

    The conversation between Nick and his sister was also very believable and sweet written. I could imagine Nick sitting together with his siblings for a nice chat about their childhood :)

    I liked the way you made sure that the song fits to Nick, first with the ringtone when he is calling his sister and then when Becky told him why she thinks that song is perfect for her baby brother :)

    Very well done story, I like it. Whoever you are ;)
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2009
  5. PrincessJ88

    PrincessJ88 Coroner

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    What's The Point?: Really well done for only using spell check and grammar check. Love the idea of Nick writing in a journal I could totally see him doing that instead of sharing his feelings with others Using Cassie as the thing that gets him to possibly stay was a sweet touch...there have been a lot of stories about Cassie this round.
     
  6. NickyFan

    NickyFan Coroner

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    I'm so glad I have still some stories to review :D Takes my minf off of the stupid exam I wrote today...

    So here we go... I'll se how many I get done :)

    What's The Point

    I'm very glad you finished this story and shared it with us :D It is a very good one :)

    Wow, I liked how you wrote Nick writing a journal... that's cool and something I could really imagine him doing :D

    I really enjoyed how you wrote Catherine and Nick... she was looking out for him, like always but somehow she also knew that it was his decision. But like Catherine is she was of course taking care of things, she wouldn't let Nick go without trying to convince him to stay.

    The thing with Cassie was sweet. She was the right one to show Nick the right way and to show him that what he does is indeed not useless. That you let Cassie be his new journal was a great idea. This way he will always have someone to answer back, when he thinks he can't take it anymore.

    To be honest... I thought you ended it a way too abruptly for my taste... I first thought it might be the word limit which let you end it that soon but after checking that this isn't the case... I assume you really wanted this story to be part of the challenge, what I can absolutely understand... I think you would have been capable of making Nicky feelings clearer if you would have had more time.

    But all in all I really liked the idea and the way you wrote it :) It was a very nice read :D

    So The World Will Know

    Wow, a post Grave Danger story :D I like those :) I've read also many more chapter story who deal with Nicks reactions after his ordeal... BUT I need to say that I like the way you got it all into a one shot and that with less then 1300 words :eek:

    That was amaizing and I didn't get the feeling that you left things out or something... You brought it all very well together and saved the details for the moments you needed them the most.

    As I love to read about feelings and emotions this story was the best thing that could happen :D I liked the part where he was crying with his mom and dad with him :) That was so beautiful written :D But what I liked the most was how you wrote the change in him in his eyes... He shows so many feelings and emotions in his eyes... even if he isn't able to talk... when you look in his eyes you can see everything. That was just cool :D

    Amaizing was also how you used the song into your story... I always struggle with using the lyrics in my fics... but in yours it just fits together so well...

    Your interpretation of what we got to see and we never got to see was fantastic... I know you aren't one to simply create storylines that weren't there and the way you wrote the new parts in your story just fits to the things we got to see on the show. No surprises and no moments where you might think that it is out of the head of a writer with too much fantasy... it could have had really happened.

    Great work :thumbsup:

    Brian

    That was a very well written story. I like that you wrote Nick on his earlier days as he was at the Dallas PD. Somehow I wish we would get to know more about how Nick was like when he was younger. That's what I like on this story. And you wrote Nick totally in character, even he was younger. I could really imagine Nick acting like that when he was younger.

    The story with Brian was so sad but somehow I really got the feeling of hope. That there are still people out there who would give everything for you, who would catch you when you fall and who would be willing to go the extra mile for you.

    You wrote that all so great in your story. You showed us that not everything is lost, that there is still hope :)

    That was a good story, not only because you used your own imagination for it... no... you succeded in bringing Nick's personality well in too. Thumbs up for this one :thumbsup:

    Starfish

    Awww I like it :D I heard the story with the Starfish here in Germany too, as a child :) They are called "Sternenfische" here and I need to say as I was that little I didn't really get the sense of the story completely :lol:

    But now after I guess more then 12 years later I read it again... in English and I understood :D It was great to read :) I like Nick and Warrick together and it is really sad that we won't see the two together anymore...

    I liked that you let Nick have a dog :D And that he wants to call her Star(fish) makes it even more adorable.

    It was also great that it was so short and nice and easy to read... who said that stories with a message would need to be long??? Very good story and something to smile about :)

    You'll Never Change Things

    It's really cool that we get to see in all his life periods in that challenge... we had young Nick (as a child and as young adult), Nick like we know him and now we have Nick as an older man... I need to say that I didn't expect to see older Nick in that challenge but that makes it even better that there is one :D

    “Nicky my boy, you’ve become old and jaded.” :lol: That was a sweet line... I really liked the first part :) It was kind of cute... how he looks at himself in the mirror and shows back... to all the things that happened.

    That you brought Cassie in to show what he had all done in his past, even he thought it didn't help anything, was so great :D Somehow she had him realize how important and how hopeful the things were he did. I somehow got the intention that Cassie was here the one to teach him, not the other way round. And that although Nick is so much older and wiser...

    The conversation was between people of different generations and you made it really clear how different they see things. You're good in writing communications and I have a good guess who you are :D

    Your story gives the feeling of hope and that not everything we do is for nothing... everything we do has an effect and it was Cassies time to show Nick how much he made the difference :) Good job :thumbsup:
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2009
  7. GregNickRyanFan

    GregNickRyanFan Holographic Moderator Moderator

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    What's The Point?- I loved the look into Nick's journal. And how he was thinking that nothing Catherine could say would change his mind. Cath must have known that and that's why she brought Cassie there instead of trying to talk Nick into staying herself. Loved Cassie saying she'd send him a "smack upside the head" via internet. :lol:
     
  8. egeria

    egeria This mod is Ready for the Laughing Gas!

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    Alright, two more for now and I'll try and get the third up tonight too. I left it at work...:rolleyes:

    ETA: Re-wrote the third one...

    Holding Out Hope

    Well this certainly is a way to give Greg more screen time :p I always wondered where he was during this Gumdrops scene. I’m not usually a fan of episode rewrites but yours is so believable.

    I like your Cassie, she’s inquisitive and blunt!! She and Nick interact really well in your story and I get the feeling Cassie is using Nick to forget about her own horrors. A very human and realistic trait which added that realism to your story.

    Nick’s proposal is just too cute! But I could totally see him doing something so personal and...well…kinda cheesy. But cheesy in a good way, you know?! Nick does have such a warm and caring heart and you’ve brought that out in a sweet and thoughtful way.

    Your ending is really beautiful, it shows how you just have to get through the bad times and the rewards will be worth it. Both Nick and Cassie have lived through horrendous moments, and yet they persevered and found each other. That’s a very hopeful and heartwarming message.

    Help and Hope

    Great beginning!! :lol: The image of Nick falling off the couch is hilarious! You’ve also described a hangover pretty well, not that I’m familiar with the sensation myself…:rolleyes:

    I like how Hope is wearing a t-shirt and shorts, shows how comfortable she is with herself.

    The conversation between Nick and Hope is really interesting, sometimes it *is* easier to open up to a stranger. You’ve given Nick a chance to talk about Warrick and Hayley to someone who will listen and be invested in Nick simply because he is sharing, and not because she knew them.

    The subsequent rerun of Nick’s most emotional moments feels cathartic, and really fits with the idea of how Nick sees himself; he’s been saved in order *to* save.

    I love the little twist at the end, very unexpected but really quite brilliant!

    All in all, this was really good, with Nick finally finding an outlet for some pent up hurt and confusion and making a new friend along the way. Very nice!

    In His Sister's Eyes (By Saving Just This One)

    Firstly, I have to say I love this story for the interaction between Nick and his sister. We don’t get to see this kind of domesticity on the show, and in your story it was both refreshing and realistic.

    The butt dialing! Too funny!! I like how Becky has different ring tones for each of her friends and family. It’s a nice little touch that really adds to the depth of the story.

    I really like how you incorporated the song, using it as a ring tone. Very clever without being sappy.

    Interspersing the story with glimpses of the family home is really warm, and gives the whole story an inviting feel to it. Kinda makes me homesick too, not that I grew up in anything remotely like a Southern home, but for all the photographs and memories. I love your description of the Stokes family photographs. The story has a real feel of nostalgia which has been written very poignantly. The Christmas Day memory is a perfect example of that.

    Becky as a CSI too, that’s really cool. And Nick and Becky's sense of family and pride is really tangible in their dialogue. They’re being honest without being sappy, opening up without embarrassment. A brother and sister, simply sharing. Makes me miss my own brother!

    And the exploding cake story…had me in stitches! Oh man this is so funny but wow is it ever believable!! Well done!

    The story, with the dialogue and the glimpses of family photographs, is really warm and thoughtful. It’s beautiful really, because with families, in between moments of chaos and moments of anger and moments of silence, there are moments of honesty and trust too. This was a beautiful glimpse of one such moment. Thank you for writing this!
     
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2009
  9. NickyFan

    NickyFan Coroner

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    Awwwww my last review :( Sad that it is already over :(

    From Sorrow, Born Hope


    What should I write for your story? Believe me it's definitly not that I don't like it or anything... it's just... I want it to do justice to the beauty and and the endless sadness of your story.

    I needed five attempts to read it fully, without needing to take a break because it gots all too blurry because of my tears... and I can tell you that I needed nearly as much time for writing this review because I'm at loss for words... or at least I think I don't find the right words to show you how much I think about it and what my feelings are. I'm very sorry if it shouldn't turn out like I wanted it to be :(

    I knew it was Nick's funeral from the beginning... why? I can't even tell why... I had the gut feeling and after you wrote how Cath broke down I was even more sure about it and even then I can't tell you why I knew... I just did.

    Finding the words to say how I love your sense for details is so hard you know. You can describe things one wouldn't even notice if one would sit there in the middle of your story looking directly at it.

    It's kind of crazy that people only really realize what they had when it is gone. How often do we think we should tell people what we really think about them and don't do it because we think we can tell another time or we're taking it for granted because we see those people every day. You brought that so well in your story... the feelings and emotions coming with Nicks death and all the things they would have wanted to say to him but couldn't.

    That you brought Cassie in was great for all the poor souls saved by Nick because he never gave up and never stoped hoping.

    I loved the way you brought the sun into your story... it was like Nick was there with him... his hope and his soul were with them that day. And it made them thinking about what they all lost and somehow it also brought hope with its warmth... they realized that they'll somehow always have Nick with them, not in flesh and blood but in their souls.

    Your story was sad.... oh yeah it was.... and I'm in tears again just by writing that but it was also very beautiful and by writing it you could show what they all really felt about him because as sad as it is... we always realize how we feel about the ones we love when we lost them :(
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2009
  10. Smokey

    Smokey Nickaholic Moderator

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    Ah! Another one! :D

    What's the Point? - I like the idea of Nick writing in a journal, but your use of it to tell part of the story is an especially cool technique. I can definitely see this day coming, when Nick is fed up with feeling like he's not making a difference. You did a good job of having Catherine show him that he's wrong. That visit with Cassie was just the boost he needed, and I'm sure it will sustain him for a long time. :)
     
  11. lostladyknight

    lostladyknight Pathologist

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    I'll read and review all of them by tomorrow, I promise. I have to work.

    :)
     
  12. Nicksfriend

    Nicksfriend Police Officer

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    Holding Out Hope...a Mandy fic! I understand Nick wanting to adopt Cassie, they had a connection, a nexus, because he had given up then she would have surely died, it was meant to be. I like how you took this story and made it your own....and I really liked how you allowed Greg to be at Nick's side when he found Cassie, it did seem a better scenario in a way, a nice fanfic way. Good job!


    Help and Hope...This story has the best line of the week.... “Please tell me I didn’t sleep with a hooker again,”...made me laugh out loud! Then another good one at the end...“Girlfriend?” ...I do wonder if he thought he might have a chance. Poor dude. Nicely done!

    In His Sister's Eyes (By Saving Just This One)...I honestly felt with the word description given by the writer that I was standing in the Stokes home, I could actually see and hear Nick and his sister having this conversation, reflecting and sharing. I like this writer's ability to pull me in and take me down memory lane with our Nick and his sister. Great job! Butt dialing???lol
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2009
  13. Jacqui

    Jacqui Police Officer

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    Sweet! A bonus fic!

    What's The Point?: I really liked this one. Dejected, downtrodden Nicky makes me want to cuddle him... The poor guy's been through so much, how could he not be feeling this way? Bringing Cassie in for a visit seems like just the kind of thing Catherine would do for Nick, and shows how much she cares about him. It was just what he needed - and what she needed too, since it meant she didn't lose another friend. Great work... whoever you are ;)

    Now . . . if they'd only do this on the show... :shifty:
     
  14. bookgirl20

    bookgirl20 CSI Level Two

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    Whats the point?- So cute! I love that Nick keeps a journal, but I love even more that he wasn't going to let Catherine bully him into forfeting his decision. He changed his mind because of things he legitimately thought were important not guilt or anything. Very nicely written.

    From Sorrow, Born hope- Wow. Just wow. The story was beautifully written, with an awesome concept and execution. But what struck me was how you managed to change the mood, feel and weight of the piece right at the end. It was heavy and dark, justifiably so since you killed off Nick (its taken me a few moments, but I've forgiven you:)) and then you turned it around and while still somber it felt lighter. You literally turned the tone of the piece from sorrow to hope. Nicely done.
     
  15. Speedystokesgirl

    Speedystokesgirl Judge

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge #3 - "The Change" - Stories Up!

    I'm at work and I'm waiting for some ads to process, so I decided to read one story. Shhhhh, don't tell anyone. :shifty:

    And what a story it was.

    Two Lost Souls: Wow, make me cry why dontcha? That was a terrific story. I like the choice of using a dog. Being a dog owner, myself, I know just how much they can help you and love you unconditionally. I think Mary is just what Nick needs to find his balance again and help him through all this and knowing dogs, she'll succeed in it too. There's nothing like coming home to a 4-legged 'monster' :lol: with their tail wagging, wanting to lick your face and sooooooooo excited to see you. Nope, nothing in the world like it. :adore:

    This was a great, tender story and I think both Nick and Mary will be ok. :thumbsup:

    Now if the other stories are like this one, which I'm sure they are, I'm in for an emotional rollercoaster ride, aren't I? Shhh, don't tell me. That's why I read all the stories before I read anyone's reviews.
     
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