CSI:Miami Road Trip #11: We Ain't Comin' Home

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Finch, Dec 14, 2008.

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  1. CSISDFlash

    CSISDFlash Pathologist

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    AAAWWW! Speed holding a baby is a cute thought! Katie can't stay out of trouble for 5 min. wthout Speed! Well she stays in trouble even with Speed there most of the time. I guess hes just gonna have to put on his macho man super stud cape and go save her from the evil Paul! Great update!
     
  2. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    I have to agree with Speedfanatic. Katie does need to come home. As for Paul, he needs to do more then suck it. It's too bad she couldn't have gotten one of those vials from Lori. Then she could OD the bastard:scream:

    Aww...I can just Speed holding the baby up like that. But once he got the hang of it, he did great. Though I have to agree that Scott was a little harsh with his words. But it's also understandable.

    Great update Geni. Hope you post again soon.:)
     
  3. Jenna_Caine

    Jenna_Caine Police Officer

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    Awww... Speed DOES care, he just never knows how to show it! <3

    And I love the contrasts in Katie's behavior as usual. She's all pissy adult-like, denying Paul and smashing him in the nose, and then she goes all kid or teenager-like, with the flopping on the bed and hugging the cow. <3 Poor Katie...
     
  4. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    Hi Geni... Just check'n in to see when we get another update:)

    *Taps foot patiently:lol:
     
  5. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Thanks so much for the reviews y'all! :D :adore:

    Heh, another update comin' up nnnnnow. :lol:

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Kansas City, Missouri, 7pm, 2 weeks later

    Katie: *grabs payphone, tosses coins into machine* Here goes nothin'.

    APL Manhattan, Miami 8:30pm, balcony

    Lori: *sips wine* This has been an...interesting night so far.

    Scott: How so?

    Lori: *tilts head, looks out toward ocean* Well your colleagues are a handful, I have to say. Maybe someone should have mentioned to them that this is a formal shindig, not a pool party. *looks at Scott* I know, those words actually came out of my mouth.

    Scott: *smiles*

    Lori: *smirks, looks down at wine* And they're all crowded around the glass, staring at us.

    Scott: Of course they are, they need something to gossip about tomorrow.

    Lori: Would they really have that much to gossip about? We're married.

    Scott: You'd be surprised.

    Behind glass

    Donna: She's so pretty.

    Tina: And much younger than him.

    Donna: Oh shush, that doesn't matter. She's not that much younger. Scott doesn't even look that old.

    Tina: Ooh so y'all are on a first name basis now.

    Donna: *frowns* At least I don't treat him like garbage.

    Tina: I don't treat him like garbage. I treat him like I treat everyone.

    Donna: So...garbage. *gasp* He's kissing her! He's kissing her!

    Tina: *narrows eyes*

    Donna: *smiles* Awwww.

    Tina: Lucky bitch.

    Donna: What?

    Tina: *coughs* Nothing. I said she's a stupid bitch. I mean, could that dress be any sluttier?

    Donna: It's not any more slutty than yours.

    Tina: *looks down* Hey I paid 2 grand for this.

    Donna: Yeah but you spent 20 bucks on your makeup.

    Tina: *frowns*

    Outside, balcony

    Lori: *turns head away, clears throat* I see you're not shy tonight.

    Scott: *smiles* Why, you got a problem with that?

    Lori: *smirks* No way.

    Wine glass shatters, window glass breaks

    Lori: *ducks*

    People scream

    Bullets fly

    Scott: *runs in* GET DOWN!

    Behind desk

    Lori: *holding side*

    Scott: *slides over* Are you okay?

    Bullets continue to fly

    Shelf collapses

    Scott: Lori.

    Lori: *blinks* Uh...yeah, I'm fine. I think.

    Scott: *lifts Lori's hand* That would be a negative.

    Lori: *looks down* Damnit. Not that I liked this dress or anything but that's going to be a bitch to get out of the carpet.

    Scott: *looks over desk*

    Bullets fly

    Scott: *ducks*

    Wind blows through

    Scott: How are you doing?

    Lori: Still bleeding to death, nothing to worry about.

    Scott: *grabs Lori's side*

    Lori: Whoa, ow! Jesus, Scott.

    Scott: *looks back* Did someone call 9-1-1!

    Donna: I did!

    Scott: *looks at Lori*

    Donna: *runs in* They said on the phone that they're 15 minutes away though. There was some 3-car pile up or something.

    Scott: 15 minutes?

    Donna: Yeah. Oh geez, was she shot?

    Scott: Lori, lie down.

    Lori: Why?

    Scott: Believe it or not, your brain needs more blood than your liver.

    Lori: *lies down*

    Donna: Is she gonna be okay?

    Lori: I'm going to be fine.

    Donna: You look a little pale though.

    Scott: Donna why don't you go make sure everyone else is okay.

    Donna: Sure. *walks away*

    Lori: So where does this fit on the scale of fun times we've shared?

    Scott: *laughs* It's probably up there with the restaurant explosion.

    Lori: *nervous smile* Good times.

    Scott: *stares at Lori*

    5 minutes later

    Donna: *runs in* Everyone's accounted for. A lot have been cut by the glass and Mark got hit in the head by a falling light fixture but that's about it. Those gunmen were terrible shots.

    Scott: *places coat over Lori*

    Donna: Is she cold?

    Scott: Yeah.

    Donna: Is that good or bad? Is she okay? How come there's so much blood on the floor? D-

    Scott: Slow down, calm voice please.

    Donna: *nods*

    Scott: How are you feeling, Lori?

    Lori: Um...a little light-headed.

    Scott: *nods*

    Lori: I don't think...you'll uh...be able to stop the bleeding.

    Scott: It's really not that bad. You'll be fine.

    Lori: I don't believe you.

    Scott: Let's pretend I'm telling the truth.

    Lori: *smirks*

    Donna: Poor thing is as white as a ghost.

    Scott: *lifts head*

    Donna: Sorry.

    Lori: *smiles* What a terrific evenin'. Glass of wine and a bullet, you people sure know how to throw a party.

    Donna: Is she supposed to be slurring her words like that?

    Tina: *runs over* Ambulance just pulled up outside.

    Scott: Good. Do me a favour and let them into the building. *takes out phone*

    Tina: Where are you going?

    Scott: Oh nowhere special. *stands, walks over to desk, opens drawer*

    Tina: What are you doing?

    Scott: *grabs gun*

    Tina: *lifts brows*

    Scott: *places gun behind back, tucks shirt over it*

    Tina: What the hell do you think you're doing with a gun?

    Scott: Donna.

    Donna: Yes sir?

    Scott: Accompany my wife to the hospital please.

    Donna: You're not going with her?

    Scott: *walks away*

    Donna: *turns around*

    Tina: *shrugs*

    Building next door; elevator doors open

    Scott: *steps off elevator, looks around*

    Wind blows through broken window

    Scott: *looks at floor*

    Gun is seen lying on floor

    Scott: *lifts head, looks around* Tricia! *pulls out gun*

    Behind boxes, across room

    Tricia: *opens duffle bag, digs around*

    Near elevator

    Scott: They let you out on bail!

    Behind boxes

    Tricia: Shit. *pushes gun magazines out of the way* Come on, come on...

    Middle of room

    Scott: *looks over at boxes* I'm so glad you're back. It was about fucking time I stopped feeling happy and safe. *pushes over boxes*

    Across the room

    Tricia: *reaches for gun, pushes magazine into gun*

    Middle of room

    Scott: *looks over* You know, when most people offer you help, you should say thank you. That's the polite thing to do, even if you don't plan on taking it. Shooting someone...well you can see how that might be construed by some people as rude behaviour. *looks around* TRICIA! *points gun up, pulls trigger*

    BAM

    Tricia: *flinches*

    Scott: *lowers gun, walks over*

    Tricia: *lifts head*

    Scott: Hide and seek's over.

    Tricia: *lifts gun* Step back or I'll shoot.

    Scott: You should have gotten me with your little sniper rifle. Your mistake, I guess.

    Tricia: *stands* We can end this...without anymore injuries.

    Scott: Oh I don't plan on injuring you.

    Tricia: *nervous laugh* Scott, come on. You're not a killer.

    Scott: You had a very different opinion last time.

    Tricia: My life wasn't on the line last time.

    Scott: *grabs Tricia*

    Tricia: *drops gun* LET GO!

    Scott: *drags Tricia across room*

    Tricia: UGH!

    Scott: Take a look.

    Tricia: *looks out broken window*

    Scott: Not a good way to start your treatment, is it.

    Tricia: I can go back. I'll go back to treatment, I'll do it this time.

    Scott: Do you realize I had a full background worked up on you? Because I started to wonder how you knew about Erin's death. The manner of death which wasn't disclosed.

    Tricia: *staring out window*

    Scott: Turns out, Erin's dead husband has a sister named Patricia who lives in Brooklyn. Her and Erin were best friends in highschool, it's how Erin met her husband.

    Tricia: So?

    Scott: Well this Patricia person just happened to get hired at APL Manhattan by one Scott Finch. Funny how things work out, huh.

    Tricia: ...

    Scott: It's no coincidence that Erin kept me alive, is it. I guess I'm just wondering who's idea the torture was.

    Tricia: Hers.

    Scott: Really.

    Tricia: I told her to rob the bank and take a few hostages to scare you. I didn't tell her to kidnap and torture you.

    Scott: You didn't stop her either.

    Tricia: I was just about as privy to your location as the cops, alright? My plan went horribly wrong. I didn't think she'd lose it.

    Scott: You didn't think at all. *drags Tricia toward open window* Just like you didn't think before shooting up my office.

    Tricia: *grabs onto side of building* Scott, stop this. Why don't we just talk like adults...away from the window.

    Scott: *slides Tricia closer to edge* What, you think I'd let you fall?

    Tricia: *screams*

    Scott: *looks out building* Gee, that's what...a 50 storey drop? Seems scary.

    Tricia: Scott...please...

    Scott: It's almost like one of those theme park rides only without the harness. Just a big 'splat' at the end.

    Tricia: *grabs onto Scott's arm, starts to cry* Please don't let me go.

    Elevator doors open

    Speed: *steps off elevator, lifts gun* SCOTT!

    Scott: *turns head to the side*

    Speed: Step away from the window. Slowly.

    Scott: How's Lori.

    Speed: Scott, why don't you just step back first. We ca-

    Scott: Tell me how she is.

    Speed: I think it would be better right now if you didn't know that. Now, don't do something stupid, you're not that kind of person.

    Scott: I wasn't.

    Speed: You're still not. I know you're angry and I can't imagine what you're going through right now but you know this isn't right. If you do this, your little girl isn't going to have her father. Think about what that'll do to her, knowing what happened.

    Scott: *blinks*

    Speed: Everything you've done so far has been to help people. That should be the father she grows up knowing. A father she can be proud of.

    Scott: *stares ahead*

    Speed: Come on son, step back.

    Scott: *closes eyes, sighs*

    Speed: Let's go.

    Scott: *wraps arm around Tricia's waist, steps back*

    Tricia: *sigh* Thank God.

    Scott: *lets go*

    Tricia: *runs*

    Speed: *grabs Tricia* Sit.

    Tricia: Okay. *sits*

    Scott: *looks at Speed*

    Speed: The gun.

    Scott: *hands over gun*

    Speed: *places hand on Scott's shoulder* Good choice. *looks at Tricia* You just violated your parole.

    Tricia: What? Since when?

    Speed: Attempted murder isn't on the list of parole violations?

    Tricia: Oh...that. But hey! He pointed a gun at me and almost threw me out of a building! Arrest him too!

    Speed: What are you talking about? You were so guilty about trying to kill all those people that you were about to jump. I talked you down with Scott's help.

    Tricia: HEY! THAT'S NOT TRUE! HE WAS GONNA KILL ME!

    Speed: Not any more than you were going to kill him, right?

    Tricia: *frowns*

    Cops walk over

    Speed: Get up.

    Tricia: Ergh. *stands*

    Cop: *grabs Tricia*

    Cops & Tricia walk away

    Scott: You should arrest me.

    Speed: Why don't we go see your wife instead. Okay?

    Scott: *nods*

    Hospital, 1am

    Speed: *walks over, hands over coffee*

    Scott: Thanks. *grabs coffee*

    Speed: How is she?

    Scott: Stable.

    Lori: *grabs Scott's hand*

    Scott: *lifts head*

    Lori: I'd...recognize that voice anywhere.

    Scott: *smiles*

    Lori: *opens eyes* ...You look like crap.

    Scott: *tilts head* It happens.

    Lori: *smiles*

    Scott: *leans over, kisses Lori's cheek*

    Lori: *sigh*

    Scott: I'll be back in a little bit. I'm going to go pick up Steph.

    Lori: *nods*

    Scott: I love you.

    Lori: *smirks*

    Scott: *stands, walks away*

    Lori: *looks at Speed*

    Speed: They had to revive you 3 times.

    Lori: Sorry, I'll work on that in the future.

    Speed: *sits* I'm not saying that because I'm disappointed, Lori. Just thought you'd like to know.

    Lori: I knew.

    Speed: Someone already told you?

    Lori: ...No.

    Speed: *stares at Lori*

    Lori: I'd like to rest now, please.

    Speed: *nods* Sure. I have to take off anyhow, your mother showed up about a half hour ago.

    Lori: Give her my best.

    Speed: Will do.

    TBC.................................

    RT Gang next. For real this time. :lol:
     
  6. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    Augh...holy cow...:eek: Aww... my poor Lori. She's not safe anywhere, for that case either is Scott. I'm really not sure how much more punishment those two kids can take. Hugs them tight.

    I think myself Scott should have dropped Tricia. God knows I wouldn't tell. Though I'm lovin Speeds protective nature, standing by Scott.

    Had to laugh at Donna. She's funny. Loved the 20 buck make up job..hehe

    Yay!! Katies back

    Thanks for the wonderful and great update Geni...Bring on the RT Gang:lol:
     
  7. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

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    Talk about action! Tricia should've been dropped right on her head, that maybe would've knocked some sense into her. Glad that Speed was there to talk him down before he did something stupid. Glad even more that Lori survived this* tell me, is there anything that she hasn't survived?*

    Katie's back! YAY that she got away from the dillweed, Paul. Now , next up?...More awkwardness from the trio:D Good times, I tell you....Good times:)

    Excellent update, and YES! RT!
     
  8. CSISDFlash

    CSISDFlash Pathologist

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    Lovin the Scott Charles Bronson action! he always gets his man or woman as the case may be!

    OOOOHHHH Flash hugs and kisses Speeds cute little scruffy face! Hes just so Fatherly all of a sudden! and whats he gonna do when he gets with Katie? Is their gonna be somemore Cookin with Speed and Katie? She still hasn't properlu thanked him for that Tiffany neckles he baught her for Christmas! HMMM!

    Well at least Lori is ok! I don't know what she going to do with Scott Charles Bronson though! Hes gonna have to stop pullin that dirty Harry attitude out or hes gonna be in jail or worse! Good thing Speed showed up when he did!

    Good update Gini!
     
  9. racefh853629

    racefh853629 Pathologist

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    Damn, I go away for a week, and you try to kill Lori. :(

    Then again, I shouldn't be too surprised anymore... haha. Here's hoping Tricia's gone for good!

    Great updates! :)
     
  10. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Hee! Thanks so much for the reviews!

    Muwahaha. :devil:

    And I swears it, there's RT Gang in this one (albeit further down) :p I'm just gettin' started with them, heh.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Hospital cafeteria

    Katie: *globs yogurt onto plate* I managed to hitch a ride after I couldn't get a hold of you and Anni. Where is she anyway?

    Speed: Here. She had her surgery yesterday morning.

    Katie: Really? I thought she'd wait a little longer before she had doctor's diggin' around in her brain. *globs more yogurt* Anyway, like I was sayin', I hitched all the way here and I have to tell ya, it was harder than I thought. Did you know that if you hold your thumb the wrong way, people don't stop?

    Speed: No.

    Katie: *slopping yogurt onto plate* I learned the hard way. Stood in the rain for what seemed like forever. I think it was something like 15 minutes.

    Speed: *grabs Katie's spoon* You have enough yogurt.

    Katie: *looks down at plate* Oh. *walks over to table, sits*

    Speed: *walks over, sits*

    Katie: Why are you following me?

    Speed: I'm not following you.

    Katie: You're sitting with me.

    Speed: We're the only people here.

    Katie: You couldn't find another table?

    Speed: I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to sit at the cool kid table.

    Katie: *smiles* You think I'm cool?

    Speed: *frowns* Eat your yogurt.

    Katie: *shoves yogurt into mouth* So did you miss me?

    Speed: Not particularily.

    Katie: You never even thought about me?

    Speed: *shrugs* No, not really.

    Katie: *narrows eyes* Liar.

    Speed: My mind was occupied most of the time.

    Katie: That's rare.

    Speed: Cute.

    Katie: *smiles*

    Speed: *drinks soda*

    Katie: I'm pregnant.

    Speed: *chokes on soda*

    Katie: *laughs* HA! Just kidding!

    Speed: *wipes face* That's not funny.

    Katie: I found it very funny.

    Speed: You finished getting it all out of your system now?

    Katie: Not yet, I'm sure the rest'll come out. But if I can be serious for a second-

    Speed: Impossible.

    Katie: Ha. Ha. Anyway, I really appreciated the little stuffed cow Anni sent along. That was sweet of her. There were quite a few nights that were...rough and it helped to know my friends were thinking of me. I swear, there were times I thought I wouldn't live to see the next morning.

    Speed: That bad, huh.

    Katie: It sure wasn't the home I remembered.

    Speed: *nods* Well I'm going to go check on Lori. *stands* Welcome home.

    Katie: Thanks.

    Speed: *walks away*

    Katie: *sigh*

    Hospital room, bathroom

    Lori: *hanging onto sink, groans* Oh morphine, you don't work and you suck ass.

    Speed: *walks in* What the hell are you doing out of bed?

    Lori: Nature called.

    Speed: Um, bedpan.

    Lori: *laughs* I don't do bedpans. *leans forward* Ugh.

    Speed: You just had a bullet rip through you and you lost 15% of your blood, walking around isn't a good idea.

    Lori: Doctors only say that so they don't get shit on if their patient gets out of bed and accidentally falls over and dies or something.

    Speed: Actually, I think most of them would tell you that you had a serious injury and you could make it worse without some bed rest first.

    Lori: I was resting in surgery.

    Speed: You died in surgery.

    Lori: *shrugs* Tomato, tomato.

    Speed: *grabs Lori's arm* Get back in bed.

    Lori: *pulls arm away* I'll do it myself. *steps forward* AH! *falls to knees*

    Speed: *kneels, grabs Lori*

    Lori: *grabs onto Speed* Oh Jesus. If I hadn't already been a drug user, I'd say morphine was a placebo.

    Speed: That's precisely why they didn't give you more than you required.

    Lori: Well let me tell you, I require more than they're giving me. *screams, holds side*

    Speed: You need to stand up.

    Lori: I need you to shut the hell up.

    Speed: *wraps arm around Lori, drags her up*

    Lori: UGH! SON-OF-A-BITCH! Seriously, tell them I need more morphine.

    Speed: It hurts because you're out of bed. When you get back into bed where you're supposed to be, you'll start to feel a little better.

    Lori: I don't want to feel a little better, I want to feel nothing. You know what nothing feels like? Certainly doesn't feel like pain.

    Speed: I already told you they aren't giving you a higher dose.

    Lori: Why! I'm not an addict anymore!

    Speed: Well screaming to them for more drugs isn't going to change their minds any faster.

    Lori: I'm only screaming because it ACTUALLY HURTS!

    Speed: Lori, you need to calm down.

    Lori: I'll calm down when it stops hurting! And who the HELL shot me! I'm going to kill them!

    Speed: No you're not. You're going to get into bed.

    Near bed

    Lori: *leans over bed*

    Speed: Come on Lori, I can't lift you up onto it too.

    Lori: Just give me a second! *leans elbow on bed, covers forehead*

    Speed: *places hand on Lori's back*

    Lori: *exhales* Okay. *climbs into bed, winces*

    Speed: You got it?

    Lori: *rolls onto back* Yeah, I think so.

    1 hour later

    Katie: I'm just trying to help.

    Lori: I don't need your god damned yogurt! *throws plate at wall*

    Katie: Calm down!

    Lori: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, MOTHER! *shoves food try*

    Speed: *dodges sideways*

    Lori: SOMEONE GET ME SOME FUCKING PAIN KILLERS!

    Katie: *steps closer* Why don't we try a breathing technique. It used to help me when I had cramps.

    Lori: Oh. Well geez, I think that might just do the trick. Were your cramps LIKE A THOUSAND KNIVES STABBING YOU IN THE GUT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND THEN TWISTING IT FOR GOOD MEASURE UNTIL YOU CAN BARELY BREATHE!

    Speed: If you're screaming this much, you can breathe just fine.

    Lori: I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!

    Speed: Do you kiss your husband with that mouth?

    Lori: *screams*

    Katie: Maybe we should get a doctor to look at her or something. She seems to be hurting pretty badly.

    Speed: She's exaggerating and the doctors will see right through it.

    Lori: *slams fist into Katie's face*

    Katie: AGH! *falls against wall, holds face*

    Speed: *lifts brows*

    Katie: Tim...get a doctor before I strangle her.

    Speed: Right. *walks away*

    Katie: *rubs face* How come you didn't hit your father?

    Lori: Ugh, you were closer. *leans over bed*

    Katie: What are you doing?

    Lori: *vomits*

    Katie: Gross.

    Lori: *coughs*

    Doctor: *walks in, holding chart* And how are we this evening?

    Lori: *looks over* Is that supposed to be a joke?

    Speed: *walks in*

    Doctor: Why don't you lie back for me Lori and I'll take a look at you.

    Lori: *lies on bed*

    Doctor: *presses on Lori's side*

    Lori: *screams*

    Doctor: Mhm.

    Lori: Thanks! If I wanted MORE pain, I could have done that too!

    Doctor: *presses further over*

    Lori: DO NO HARM! DO NO HARM!

    Doctor: Were you out of bed at any point?

    Lori: Yeah, I had to pee and I wasn't going to do it in a dixie cup thank you very much. Unlike you men, we don't have the external plumbing necessary to aim with precision. Not like men are precise anyway but the point still st-OW!

    Doctor: You're really in no condition to be walking around. You could hemorrage internally and die.

    Lori: Big change from the rest of my evening.

    Doctor: When was the last time you used drugs?

    Lori: 4 weeks ago.

    Doctor: *writes on chart* And that drug was what?

    Lori: Heroin.

    Katie: Excuse me? When the hell did this happen?

    Lori: It's a long story.

    Katie: I want to hear it.

    Lori: Look, I'm not in the mood. Dad can tell you everything.

    Doctor: Well I'm going to keep you on the same dose as before. If you stay in bed, you should be ready to go in less than a week.

    Lori: Let me get this straight. You came in here and prodded me just to tell me I'm keeping the same dose. Are you kidding me? I'M NOT A DRUG ADDICT!

    Doctor: You just confessed to using heroin.

    Lori: I'M NOT USING HEROIN! I did it once, puked my guts out and haven't touched it since! And it wasn't even voluntary! So, go get me a doctor who isn't a complete retard!

    Doctor: Is she always this belligerent?

    Speed: Surprisingly, no.

    Doctor: And she really hasn't used heroin since the last time?

    Speed: Hey, she actually told you about it. That's probably the most honest she's ever been with a doctor.

    Doctor: *nods* Okay, I'll up her dose.

    Lori: Just like that?

    Doctor: I'm saving my colleagues the agony of having to deal with you.

    Lori: Huh.

    Doctor: *pulls out small bottle* This for now and later we'll get a drip going with the changed dosage.

    15 minutes later

    Scott: *walks in, holding Steph* Hey did I miss anything?

    Speed: Only all the fun.

    Lori: *smiling* Scott. You pretty, pretty man. And Stephanie. My pretty, pretty baby.

    Scott: *lifts brow*

    Speed: Morphine.

    Scott: I see.

    Lori: You guys...are all right. *looks at Speed* Daddy, com'ere.

    Speed: *steps closer* What.

    Lori: You're like, THE coolest dad EVER. I really mean that from the bottom of my IV.

    Speed: I bet.

    Lori: And I'm sorry I called ya a son-of-a-bitch. Your momma's actually really cool. She's friends with Scott's momma. Now she is a bitch. Oops, I guess I shouldn't say bad words around my little one here, should I? *looks at Steph* MOMMY LOVES YOU!

    Steph starts to cry

    Lori: No no! It's okay! Don't cry! Scott, why's she crying!

    Scott: Maybe she's not used to you being so...high.

    Lori: STEPHIE! MOMMY'S OKAY! Give her here I wanna hold her.

    Scott: It's okay, I got her.

    Lori: GIVE ME MY BABY!

    Scott: Okay. *hands over Steph*

    Speed: *shakes head*

    Lori: *wraps arm around Steph* See? Mommy's fine.

    Steph grabs Lori's face

    Lori: *smiles*

    Steph smiles

    Lori: Oh you're SO cute. *touches Steph's nose* Boop!

    Steph giggles

    Lori: HEE! *touches Steph's nose* Boop!

    Steph giggles

    Lori: AW you're ADORABLE! *pokes Steph's belly* Beep!

    Steph giggles louder

    Lori: *smiling* RAWWW! *tickles Steph*

    Steph continues giggling, flails

    Scott: *smiles*

    Katie: *walks in, stops* ...Lori's actually playing with a baby?

    Speed: I know, it's eerie.

    Katie: How much drugs did they give her?

    Speed: Enough to make Lori love children.

    Katie: Whoaaaaa. That must have been a LOT.

    Downtown Miami, carwash, 9am

    Heather: Up and down and all around! *claps* Chop chop! Clean that Hummerhome!

    Ryan: *turns around, lowers hose* Are you finished?

    Heather: You missed a spot.

    Ryan: That's because I'm not done. Why don't you stop chanting and help me out. H wants this done in an hour.

    Heather: *looks at watch* We've already been here an hour.

    Ryan: Exactly. *hands over hose*

    Heather: Just lemme get around ya to the back here. *squishes past*

    Ryan: Oof. *slams against Hummerhome*

    Heather: Boy they sure don't put a lot of room in here, do they?

    Ryan: I'm surprised they had a carwash big enough.

    Heather: YOU SAID CARWASH! *punches Ryan*

    Ryan: OW! What was that for!

    Heather: Calleigh told me this. Everytime you say carwash, I have to punch you.

    Ryan: What do you have to say for me to punch you?

    Heather: Very funny.

    Lora: *rolls out from underneath Hummerhome* Ick, there's so much dust and poop and garbage under here.

    Ryan: ...Wait, you came with us?

    Lora: Who else did you think was riding under the Hummerhome?

    Ryan: Gremlins.

    Lora: *frowns*

    Heather: Hey Ryan.

    Ryan: Yeah? *turns around*

    Water is sprayed in Ryan's face

    Ryan: AGH! *covers face*

    Heather: HEHE!

    Ryan: ICK! Heather, that's not even real water! You're not supposed to drink it!

    Heather: It looks like real water to me.

    Ryan: There's chemicals in it!

    Heather: So? You work with decomposing bodies all day, what's a few dabs of carwash water?

    Ryan: *grabs hose*

    Heather: NO! MINE!

    Ryan: GIVE IT!

    Heather: GAH!

    Ryan: *kicks Heather's shin*

    Heather: OWIE! *grabs Ryan's hair*

    Ryan: GET OFF!

    Lora: *opens Hummerhome door, gets in*

    Inside Hummerhome

    Lora: The 'Terrible Two' out there won't be getting this done anytime soon.

    Calleigh: Thought so.

    Lora: How come we always start out mature but then our IQ points drop whenever more than one of us are in the same room?

    Calleigh: I don't know, mob mentality?

    Delko: Hey Calleigh! Come in here, you have to see this!

    Calleigh: *walks away*

    Bathroom

    Delko: *pulls long red hair out of shower*

    Calleigh: ...Ew. Eric, I told you not to do that anymore.

    Delko: *laughs* H is losing his hair.

    Calleigh: Everyone loses hair.

    Delko: Yeah but imagine a balding Horatio Caine. I think his arrest rate will go down significantly.

    Calleigh: Not if his shiny head blinds the suspects.

    Delko: See? That's the spirit.

    Calleigh: *smiles*

    Ryan: *runs in* GET AWAY FROM ME!

    Heather: *points hose* Prepare to die, Ryan Wolfe.

    Ryan: Kill someone else! Kill someone else! *grabs Lora* TAKE HER!

    Lora: HEY!

    Heather: *pulls trigger*

    Water flies everywhere

    Ryan: AH! I'M STILL GETTING HIT!

    Calleigh: *walks out* What's goin' on?

    Heather: MUWAHAHA!

    Calleigh: Heather! Water stays on the outside of the vehicle!

    Delko: Huh. I'm actually not the one involved with the stupidity. *smiles* I feel kind of smart now.

    Lora: Must be a fluke.

    Delko: *smile fades*

    Water spits, fizzles out

    Heather: Aw no, I ran out of time.

    Ryan: Serves you right.

    Heather: No problem, I'll just go put in more quarters! *runs*

    Ryan: NO! *runs*

    Calleigh: Sometimes I think Horatio should do the important things on his own.

    Delko: I doubt he sent us out here to do something important. I think he sent us here to get us out of his remaining hair.

    Outside, carwash, 1 hour later

    Lora: *wiping Hummerhome*

    Calleigh: You okay there Ryan?

    Ryan: *pulls corner of jeans down* I have a welt on my ass, guys.

    Heather: You sure it's not some kind of STD?

    Ryan: *frowns*

    Lora: What's the point in cleaning the Hummerhome if it's just going to get dirty in like 10 seconds?

    Heather: That kind of reminds me of Eric's brain.

    Delko: Ha ha. You guys are so funny with your bad jokes.

    Heather: It is considered a joke if it's true?

    Ryan: *rubs butt* This is going to be red for a week.

    Lora: Hey Ryan, you might want to hide your southern border, it looks like you pissed yourself.

    Ryan: *looks down*

    Cars pass by, honking

    Ryan: *sigh*

    TBC...............................
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2009
  11. Anni Grey

    Anni Grey Coroner

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    Poor Lori, if only she could just listen...I'm glad though that they finally gave her the much needed dose. Let's just hope it didn't jumpstart her addiction. I'd hate to see her go down that road when she has soo much going on for her.

    Glad to see Katie back! Thought I'd laugh myself silly when she burst out with 'I'm pregant!' I could just see Speed's face now...:guffaw: Talk about awkward.

    Anni's out of commission for a while...let's hope she's back to her insane self after the tumors taken out.

    And of course...the RT. That was slap hilarious that Ryan got punched everytime he said Carwash...lol, an ode to the shipper names...How so very retro ;)

    It was awesome...can't wait for more!
     
  12. CSISDFlash

    CSISDFlash Pathologist

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    Oh my god Lori is so High!!! Theirs no telling what she'll do next! Lol! I'm surprised Scott evern let her hold Steph. Speed is so funny now that Katies back theirs gonna be some interestng things between them I hope!

    Poor Eric her catches it from eveyone! Poor Poor Stupid Eric! Ryan and Heather really should have started wrestleing each other on the ground in the water now that would have been funny!

    Good update Gini!
     
  13. racefh853629

    racefh853629 Pathologist

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    Poor Lori falls victim to the mentality that most people have. :( Although, her high and playing with Steph like that is kinda funny... haha.

    Poor Ryan always gets beat up... even though it's hilarious. >:]

    Great update!
     
  14. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    Aww... poor Katie, just gets back and... slugged again. As for Lori... I really hope she doesn't get addicted again. That would seriously break my heart. Especially for li'l Steph.

    hehe, sorry that was funny.:lol:

    And I'm seriously trying to imagine H bald and standing beside Tripp.:p

    lol at Ryan.

    Great update Geni. Looking forward to more.:lol:
     
  15. Finch

    Finch Funnier in Enochian Super Moderator

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    Hee! Thanks for the reviews. :D

    :lol:

    *Twilight Zone music starts to play*

    Heh.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Miami lab, 1 week later

    Katie: *runs in* Just the man I wanted to see.

    Speed: *frowns* I'm busy. Go bug Eric.

    Katie: Can't, he's not the one I need.

    Speed: What could you possibly need me for?

    Katie: I need relationship advice.

    Speed: *lifts eyes*

    Katie: I have a date tonight with this really hot guy. I forget his name though.

    Speed: Good way to start.

    Katie: I met him at the airport before I left, he's the janitor.

    Speed: And I assume he caught your attention with his winning personality.

    Katie: When I got back, I forgot I had his number so I called him up and we set up a date for tonight except now I don't know what to wear.

    Speed: How about some overalls and instead of a purse, you can bring a pitchfork.

    Katie: Tim, he's not a hick.

    Speed: No, he's a janitor. SCORE.

    Katie: I wanted advice, not teasing.

    Speed: Here's my advice. You could do better.

    Katie: You don't know him.

    Speed: *scoffs* Neither do you.

    Katie: I'm tryin' to get back out there, okay? You know, the scene. I've decided to get off my ass and start looking for that special someone. It's going to take work and it's not an exact science but I'm determined. I want to actually wake up next to someone in 20 years. The same someone. This time it's not going to be about occupation or looks, it'll be about personality. I just have to figure out if my date has one.

    Speed: Probably won't take long.

    Katie: I wonder if I should pull out the expensive heels. *taps chin* OH I can wear my hair up! And then maybe I can wear that red dress with the sparkles in it and the slit on the side.

    Speed: I bet most of his dates look like that.

    Katie: *frowns* Fine, what do you think I should wear?

    Speed: Depends on the restaurant.

    Katie: It's an Italian place near the beach. Real fancy.

    Speed: Then keep your hooker boots at home.

    Katie: *rolls eyes*

    Speed: Who's paying?

    Katie: I am.

    Speed: *lifts head*

    Katie: He couldn't get the money out of his mom.

    Speed: ...And how old is this airport janitor?

    Katie: My age.

    Speed: And he lives at home with his mom.

    Katie: There's nothing wrong with that. But I do have to drive though because his mom's car's in the shop and his bike has a flat tire.

    Speed: Katie, does this guy seem like someone you're going to wake up next to in 20 years?

    Katie: Maybe. If his mom scooches over.

    Speed: *shakes head*

    Katie: You know what, there's someone for everyone out there and this guy should have his chance too. Besides, if it doesn't work out, I'll just go home and try again the next day. No big deal.

    Speed: Or you could not waste your time on hopeless causes.

    Katie: I'm going. Thanks for your crappy advice. *walks away*

    Speed: *sigh*

    Italian restaurant, 7pm

    Katie: *smiles* So Derek, how was work?

    Derek: *looking into spoon, picking at teeth*

    Katie: ...Derek.

    Derek: Huh? *looks over*

    Katie: How was work?

    Derek: It was cool. I got to pull this bigass condom out of a broken toilet today.

    Katie: I bet you find all kinds of cool things when you make your rounds.

    Derek: Oh yeah. One time I found a really big toenail underneath one of the chairs. I have a toenail collection now. OH! I keep it in my shoe, wanna see?

    Katie: NO. No, *laughs* that's fine.

    Derek: Your loss. Some of them are painted.

    Katie: ...

    30 minutes later

    Derek: *digging at food with forks and knives, chomps on steak*

    Katie: *clears throat* So what do you do when you're not working?

    Derek: *chewing* Play video games.

    Katie: Oh. Cool, what kind of games?

    Derek: World of Warcraft. Can you believe this? I was called a 3-minute mage yesterday by an alt.

    Katie: *smiles* Congratulations.

    Derek: *frowns* It's an insult to be called a 3-minutes mage.

    Katie: *smile fades* Oh.

    Derek: *rolls eyes* Normals.

    Katie: *looks down at plate*

    Derek: You gonna finish that?

    Katie: You're still hungry?

    Derek: No, my mom can't buy groceries until the food stamps come in. *grabs plate* She'd really love pasta tonight. *dumps plate into lunch box*

    Katie: Neat lunch box. I like the...spaceships. But why are there little men wearing frilly bell bottoms?

    Derek: Duh, those are chaps, they're space cowboys. Geez.

    Katie: My mistake.

    Derek: Hey can you give me a ride to the pharmacy before you drop me off at home, I need to pick up mom's hemorroid cream. She won't let me apply it unless it's the right kind.

    Katie: *covers mouth*

    Derek: Hey you not feelin' well or something? You know what helps me feel better? Lard sandwhiches. You can't really buy lard anymore but I manage to get it from the dumpsters behind the grocery stores. It's almost like butter.

    Katie: *grabs napkin, leaves*

    Derek: Hey were are you goin'! You left your cash on the table!

    Miami Lab, 10am

    Speed: *staring through microscope*

    Katie: *walks in, sits in chair*

    Speed: How was your date?

    Katie: *frowning*

    Speed: *lifts head*

    Katie: He smelled like cottage cheese.

    Speed: *smirks*

    Katie: It's not funny. *throws beaker*

    Speed: *catches beaker* Did he at least dress the part?

    Katie: I was waiting for him to pull out his pitchfork. Ugh. *leans elbows on table, covers eyes* I'm such an idiot.

    Speed: Guess he wasn't that special someone.

    Katie: Oh he was special all right.

    Speed: So what have you got planned for tonight?

    Katie: Nothing. I'm sitting at home and I'm going to eat a tub of ice cream.

    Speed: You're giving up already? I thought you were determined to find true love and all that mushy stuff.

    Katie: It's impossible. *lifts head* Everyone in Miami is either taken, out of my league, a criminal or gay. This city sucks.

    Speed: I'm sure there's probably someone out there saying the exact same thing and when you two find each other, fireworks will go off and you'll both live happily ever after.

    Katie: Don't patronize me. Love's not just going to fall on my lap. I've been expecting it to happen that way for years and it hasn't worked. No, you know what? I'm going to go back out there full-throttle and take life by the horns and get me a man!

    Speed: Good for you!

    Katie: I'm gonna search behind every building, every beach, every rock, every spec of dust in this city until I've found him! I don't care if it takes me a week, a month, a year, until the end of time, I'm gonna do it!

    Speed: Keep on truckin'!

    Katie: *rolls eyes* Funny. Pfft, Men. *stands, walks away*

    Speed: *shakes head, grabs folder*

    Hummerhome

    Ryan: Heather! Seriously this is NOT FUNNY. Where is my underwear!

    Back room, inside closet

    Heather: *giggling*

    Delko: Where'd you hide 'em?

    Heather: In the freezer.

    Delko: That's cold.

    Heather: *smiles* Especially for his underwear.

    Delko: There are those bad jokes again.

    Heather: Shush, I think he's coming this way.

    Ryan: *walks in* HEATHER! I can't wear a cardboard box forever! Where are you!

    Inside closet

    Heather: *puts finger up to lips*

    Delko: *nods*

    Inside room

    Ryan: I know you're in here and when I find you, there's going to be hell to pay! *starts opening cabinets*

    Sneeze is heard

    Ryan: *lifts head*

    Inside closet

    Heather: *slaps Eric* Shut up.

    Delko: Sorry, I really had to sneeze!

    Heather: You couldn't have waited 5 minutes! You're epically bad at hide and seek.

    Delko: Yeah well I guess he can hear us now, can't he.

    Ryan: *opens door* You're both dead unless I get my underwear back.

    Heather: Eric's wearing it.

    Delko: What? I'm not wearing any underwear.

    Heather: ...LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *crawls out, kicks Eric in the face*

    Delko: HEY! Watch it!

    Ryan: *grabs Heather* Where's my underwear.

    Heather: That should be a song.

    Ryan: Where's my underwear.

    Delko: *makes beat box noises*

    Heather: *bobs head* Where's my underwear, do do, where's my underwear, do do, shigga shigga wiggy wiggy-

    Ryan: Knock it off!

    Heather: Knock it off, knock it off, where's my underwear, duh-duh-duh where's my underwear, duh-duh-duh, shigga shigga wiggy wiggy. *looks at Eric* We could make the billboard charts, easy.

    Delko: Yeah but we'd have to find simpler words.

    Ryan: Stop fooling around and find my underwear.

    Heather: I didn't think we could fool you. You're not supposed to be able to get fooled. Especially again. DAMNIT RYAN! *slaps Ryan*

    Ryan: OW. None of that even made sense!

    Delko: YEAAAAAAHHHHH!

    Grocery store, 5pm

    Katie: Aha. Perfect place to find guys. Just steer clear of the ones carrying a list. *narrows eyes, looks around* AH! Good, the condiment aisle. Guys like condiments. Hopefully very handsome, smart, funny ones with good body odour. *walks away*

    Condiment aisle

    Katie: Now all I have to do is reach real high up to the mustard and look like I'm having a hard time and BAM, my Romeo will come to my rescue and we'll fall madly in love. *reaches up, gets to tippy toes* Oh no, I can't reach the mustard! Will some strong, tall, strapping man come to my rescue before I topple over the whole rack? Huh, that mustard's really far back there. *climbs up onto rack, reaches for mustard* Come here you.

    Near aisle

    Speed: *grabs basket, looks over* What the hell?

    Condiment aisle

    Katie: Get over here, stupid mustard. *climbs higher* Ergh. I want YOU.

    Rack collapses

    Katie: *screams*

    Speed: *runs over, grabs Katie*

    Ketchup falls everywhere

    Katie: *blinks, looks up* AH DAMNIT! TIM!

    Speed: What the hell are you doing?

    Katie: *stands, pushes Speed* YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!

    Speed: You wanted to fall on your ass?

    Katie: You're not supposed to be here!

    Speed: It's a free country.

    Katie: NO! My Romeo was supposed to reach up and grab the mustard for me, saving me from my own clumsiness! And you completely RUINED it. It was supposed to be a cute moment to start off an undying love! ERGH!

    Speed: I'm sorry I ruined your half-baked plans but you could have gotten hurt.

    Katie: It's not your place to interfere with it! From now on, you can only shop at grocery stores I don't frequent.

    Speed: We live in the same area, that's ridiculous. I'm not driving across town to buy my groceries because you're trying to kill yourself to get a man.

    Katie: You should have let me fall and break my legs because at least I would have met a cute paramedic on the way to the hospital! And then we could have been talking for hours and fallen madly in love that way! *slaps Speed* I HATE YOU. *stomps away*

    Speed: You're welcome!

    Downtown Miami, storefront shop

    Delko: *scratches head*

    Ryan: *crosses arms*

    Heather: Huh. I didn't think the Hummerhome could pick up that many mannequins.

    Horatio: Tell me again what happened.

    Delko: Well we sort of...got off course on the way back to the lab.

    Horatio: Meaning what.

    Heather: RYAN DID IT! *hides behind Eric*

    Delko: Heather decided to do a U-turn in the middle of a one-lane road.

    Heather: I thought we could make it.

    Horatio: Was anyone inside the store?

    Delko: Just a bunch of mannequins.

    Ryan: And considering the horrible clothing they were wearing, they look surprisingly much better with a Hummerhome shoved up their asses.

    Horatio: Who did I appoint to drive?

    Ryan: Me.

    Horatio: Who did I not appoint to drive the Hummerhome?

    Ryan: Eric and Heather.

    Horatio: Now you see why.

    Heather: In my defense, this store was built too close to the road. And the sidewalk. And that street lamp.

    TBC.........................
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2009
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