Road Trip! The Final Frontier.

Hee.

I love y'alls take on everything. Mwaha.

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House, Miami, 11pm

Lori: *runs in, shuts door* Scott! I'm back! Well...for a few hours. God I hate my jobs. *throws keys onto table* Scott! *sigh*

Upstairs, bedroom

Lori: *walks in, throws purse*

Scott: *rolls over*

Lori: *smirks, sits on bed, takes off shoes*

Scott: You home?

Lori: Mhm. I didn't expect you to be in bed this early.

Scott: *rubs eyes, sits up* Yeah well, I had an...interesting day.

Lori: Interesting good or interesting bad?

Scott: *turns on lamp*

Lori: *looks over* OH MY G-*covers mouth*

Scott: The rest of my body looks worse, believe me.

Lori: What the hell happened to you? Did you get hit by a bus?

Scott: I sort of got mugged.

Lori: How? Why? When? Who?

Scott: It was a con. I heard a girl crying in the alley, I went to check it out and then some guy jumped me and stole everything in my wallet and then took my car. So much for being a good samaritan.

Lori: So that's why I didn't see it in the driveway. I-I mean the car's not a big deal but...why didn't you call me?

Scott: I didn't want to worry you.

Lori: *hugs Scott*

Scott: Oof.

Lori: So you just saved up all my worrying for right now, thanks. *squeezes tighter*

Scott: Ow, ow.

Lori: Oh geez. *lets go* I'm sorry.

Scott: *laughs* It's okay.

Lori: Did you ever get to work? Were you fired? How did you get home?

Scott: Relax, everything's fine. Lieutenant Caine called them up and explained the situation, I'm not fired and I managed to get a ride home from the hospital from a patrol cop.

Lori: *sigh* You're so stupid.

Scott: Excuse me?

Lori: What were you thinking walking down a back alley! You're supposed to go straight to work! No side-trips! Scott, I swear, one of these days you're going to get yourself killed because you're way too nice. You need to stop trying to save everyone.

Scott: What if that girl was really in some serious trouble?

Lori: I hate to say it but it's not your problem. *hugs Scott*

Scott: *wraps arms around Lori* So...are you mad at me or what because I'm a bit confused.

Lori: I'm mad that you're so damn...you. But I'm glad you're okay. And you smell great.

Scott: *laughs*

Lori: Sorry, that last part just kind of slipped out.

Scott: Don't worry about it.

Lori: *lays head on Scott's chest*

Headlights light up room

Lori: *lifts head* What the...did someone bring your car home?

Scott: *stands, walks to window* Uh...

Lori: What's up? *walks over to window*

Scott: That's the guy who stole my car. You know, the car that has my address, spare keys and gun in it.

Lori: You left your gun in your car?

Scott: Well, no not technically anymore since he's holding it.

Lori: What, it's not enough for this guy to steal your money? He's got to rob you in your own house too?

Scott: Credit cards were frozen the minute I called the company. He probably figures this is an easy take.

Lori: You got another gun?

Scott: No, why?

Lori: I'd like to blow another hole in his ass.

Scott: Why don't you just grab your phone and we'll call the police.

Lori: Calling the police is for losers who can't protect themselves. *walks away*

Scott: N-...*sigh*

Downstairs

Man: *digging through drawers*

Lori: *steps forward*

Man: *throws papers onto floor*

Lori: Hey.

Man: *spins around, lifts gun*

Lori: *smiles* Neat toy.

Man: Get on the floor, no one gets hurt.

Lori: Wow, you're quick.

Man: Where's the safe?

Lori: I don't know, I just moved in. *points to drawer* You're stealing our cooling bill.

Man: *grabs Lori's arm, cocks gun* You have 5 seconds to show me the safe.

Lori: Kill me.

Man: *lifts brow*

Lori: Didn't think so. I'm also not getting on the floor. *laughs* Certainly not for you, anyway.

Man: *glares*

Lori: *smiles* Want to see my toy? He's much bigger than yours and can probably bench press more than your entire weight which, if I do say so myself, could maybe rival an otter on a wet tarmac. If you sneak up on it, of course. Because that's the only way you'd win otherwise.

Scott: *grabs Man by the collar, shoves him against wall*

Man: *drops gun* HEY! HEY! Let's just wait a second here! I wasn't really going to shoot anyone, I swear. It was just for my own protection.

Scott: I'm not even going to begin to explain to you how idiotic that sounds on so many levels.

Man: I do this for my little girl, okay? Wouldn't you do the same for your child?

Scott: I wouldn't rob people. And I certainly wouldn't teach my child to con people and make them an accessory to the crime. You know how you can take care of your child? Get a job. Flip burgers, drive dump trucks, wear a costume in front of a fried chicken place holding a sign, whatever it takes. Because the alternative is prison and then she won't have a father, will she?

Man: *stares at Scott*

Scott: I feel sorry for her, I really do. *lets go* Get the hell out of my house.

Man: *runs to door*

Scott: Hey.

Man: *turns around*

Scott: Car keys.

Man: *reaches into pocket, throws keys*

Scott: *catches keys*

Man: *runs away*

Lori: *walks over* So...no police?

Scott: They'll pick him up sooner or later and I'm too tired to make another statement because of the same asshole.

Lori: God, I so want to have your children right now.

Scott: *looks at Lori*

Lori: *smiles, walks upstairs*

Scott: Wait, what? *runs upstairs*

Miami Lab, atrium, next morning

Ryan: *walks over* Hey.

Heather: *sits on bench* Hi.

Ryan: How are you doing?

Heather: You're not going to make me go to the hospital, are you? Because Horatio, Calleigh, Katie, Anni, Delko and Carly already tried.

Ryan: *sits* I guess we're just wondering why you didn't want to get checked out.

Heather: Would you think I was weird if I told you I had a small phobia to latex gloves and lab coats?

Ryan: *laughs* So what are you doing here?

Heather: What I mean is...I've always had a problem with hospitals, ever since I was little. I saw something...anyway, it's not important. I'm greatful you were able to find me in time.

Ryan: It's my job.

Heather: ...Just your job?

Ryan: Yeah.

Heather: *nods* Wow. Well, thanks for saving my life. *stands, walks away*

Ryan: Um...you're welcome?

Trace Lab

Anni: *walks in* Where's my so-called husband?

Katie: Did you check the back of the Hummers and do a head count on all the staff?

Anni: *frowns*

Katie: He's at autopsy. Why? What did he do?

Anni: He hasn't been home in 3 days.

Katie: *tilts head* Lucky hooker.

Anni: No. He's been here.

Katie: So? He has a lot of work to do.

Anni: Wouldn't you want to see your husband at least once a day?

Katie: I did. Now it's your turn with him.

Anni: Did he ever just...not come home for 3 days when you were married?

Katie: No but he did sleep with you while we were married. That kind of killed the whole 'I want to see you' mood.

Anni: *crosses arms*

Katie: Look, you two hadn't exactly been super close while you were really sick, right?

Anni: No I guess not.

Katie: Just because you're feeling better, doesn't mean things are going to go back to the way they were. I'm sure you guys'll be cool again but give it some time.

Anni: Are you actually giving me marriage advice?

Katie: *shrugs* Just because I seldom take it, doesn't mean I can't give it.

Speed: *walks in*

Anni: You. Where have you been?

Speed: Here. In case you haven't noticed, the lab exploded and I'm on a high priority case. Paperwork doesn't write itself.

Katie: Told you.

Anni: *frowns*

Speed: Told you what?

Anni: Katie's giving me marriage advice.

Speed: *smirks*

Katie: *slaps Speed* IT'S NOT FUNNY!

Speed: I don't think you're in a position to be giving anyone advice about marriage.

Anni: That's what I told her.

Katie: Yeah well, when you get a successful one, call me.

Speed: The last thing I'm going to do is call you.

Katie: And that's the first step to a successful marriage. See? Great advice.

Speed: You didn't give any advice. You were the one that told me to call you. I'm the one that said it was a terrible idea.

Katie: *frowns* It seems I was mistaken. The first step to a successful marriage is finding a man who isn't a big bozo. Stick that in your scene and process it. *walks away*

Anni: Did she just say 'stick that in your scene and process it'?

Speed: She's writing a book of comebacks. Obviously not something that will be very successful either.

Anni: *laughs*

Storage closet, Lab

Lora: Okay, duct tape? Check. Ropes, check. Whip...*looks around* where can I find a whip in this place?

Jenna: What are you doing?

Lora: AH! Geez, don't do that. I'm trying to find some supplies if you don't mind.

Jenna: There's a drug store down the street.

Lora: Not those kind of supplies. Hey do we have any vaseline or...lube?

Jenna: I don't know, what are you planning on doing with it?

Lora: What aren't I planning to do with it? Help me find some.

Jenna: *walks in* Here's some WD-40, will that work?

Lora: *taps chin* ...No, I don't think we can quite call it a squeeky hinge yet. OH! WET NAPS! I've been looking everywhere for these buggers!

Jenna: *kneels* Hey I found a crazy-looking box thingy down here.

Lora: A box thingy isn't on my list.

Jenna: It's locked and it says 'TOP SECRET' on it.

Lora: Open it, open it, open it.

Jenna: I just said it's locked.

Lora: So break the box.

Jenna: What if there's something valuable in here?

Lora: Yeah right, if someone left it in the storage closet underneath a mop, it's not that important.

Jenna: What should we do?

Lora: *grabs box* We're going to jimmy it. Hand me a screwdriver.

Jenna: *looks around*

Lora: How is there not a screwdriver in here? This is a storage closet. Alright, let's get to the lounge, there has to be a spoon or something we can use.

Hallway

Katie: *runs up* Okay okay, I have some marriage advice that I think you can take to heart.

Speed: *grabs folder from counter, walks away*

Katie: *walking* Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Speed: Isn't that one of the Ten Commandments? Not very original.

Katie: Man, you are so going to Hell.

Speed: *rolls eyes*

Katie: Okay how about this one? When your partner talks, listen. When your partner cries, comfort. When your partner strives, encourage. When your partner yells at you for leaving the toilet seat up, don't do it again.

Speed: Katie, I don't need your advice. My marriage is fine.

Katie: BIG typical male mistake. When's the last time Anni laughed or smiled?

Speed: About 15 minutes ago when I told her you were writing a book.

Katie: *frowns* She laughed at that? Have you told anyone else? Did they laugh?

Speed: Stop trying to fix something that doesn't need fixing.

Katie: But Anni's not happy. You need to make her happy.

Speed: I make her plenty happy.

Katie: *smiles* Oooh how?

Speed: *frowns*

Katie: Do you love her?

Speed: Yes.

Katie: Do you love me?

Speed: *looks at Katie*

Katie: Thought I'd throw it in there for posterity.

Speed: Go do something useful with your time like...investigating crimes or something. That's the only reason you should even be in this building.

Katie: Meanie.

Speed: *walks away*

Katie: Pfft.

TBC.......................

 

Aw, thanks so much for the kind reviews y'all.

Yes. The miracle of science and Horatio's monies! :lol: (or should I be saying sunnies?) But there will undoubtly still be obstacles ahead.

:lol:

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Lounge

Jess: *walks in, slams cupboard open*

Katie: *changes channels on television*

Jess: *grabs cup, drops it*

Glass smashes everywhere

Jess: *rolls eyes, grabs second cup*

Coffee beans spill everywhere

Jess: *looks down at floor, frowns, chucks cup across room*

Glass falls everywhere

Katie: Havin' a tough day?

Jess: No. Where's the sugar?

Katie: Obviously not at your place.

Jess: I'm not kidding around.

Katie: Lower left drawer beside the stir sticks.

Jess: *opens drawer* ...These are creams.

Katie: *lifts brow* We don't keep the cream with the sugar? The Apocolypse is near.

Jess: Would you turn down that damn television?

Katie: Can't. Josh Duhamel is about to blow away the decepticons. He is one pretty man if I do say so myself.

Horatio: *walks in, grabs cup* ...Why is there glass everywhere?

Jess: I'm sorry, it's my fault. I'll clean it up. *kneels*

Horatio: *looks at tv* Katie, turn that down please.

Katie: Can't.

Horatio: *walks over, grabs remote*

Katie: HEY.

Horatio: *turns down volume*

Jess: *picks up glass* OW! GOD DAMNIT MOTHER F..reaking glass.

Horatio: *looks at Jess*

Jess: *shakes head, stands* You know what would be great in here? If someone would get paper cups. Not only do they not break but I could actually take the coffee out of here one of these days. You know how many times I had to pour it down the sink before I left for home? Not that I should be drinking coffee before I go home at night but hey, with shifts like these, who the hell can say whether it's 9 in the morning or 9 at night.

Horatio: *stares at Jess*

Jess: *walks away*

Katie: *snatches remote from Horatio* Her ranting totally just ruined the Duhamel experience.

Horatio: *walks away*

Katie: Can I turn it up now!

Lora: *runs in* Get me a knife.

Jenna: *runs in* They should be near the stir sticks.

Lora: No no, they're with the cleaning solutions.

Jenna: Who put the knives with the cleaning solutions?

Lora: Just get it. *throws box onto coffee table*

Katie: Oooh what's this? Horatio's secret stash of gay porn?

Lora: No. I'm still on the lookout for that.

Jenna: *runs over* Got a knife.

Lora: Excellent. *starts stabbing box*

Katie: You're doing it all wrong. *reaches for knife*

Lora: *growls*

Katie: *pulls hand away* ...Sorry for trying to help. *looks at watch* I have somewhere to be anyway. DON'T take it off pause. It took me hours to program the DVR and I want to finish this when I get back. *leaves*

Jenna: It doesn't look like it's going to open.

Lora: It'll open. We need fire.

Jenna: *lifts brow* Where are we going to get that?

Lora: Go get me one of those burner things.

Jenna: Why can't you?

Lora: Because you were the last to join the team, ergo you're the slave until further notice. Or until we get another slave.

Café, Miami

Katie: *runs over, sits* Sorry I'm late. I was watching Transformers.

Lori: *lifts brow*

Scott: *walks over, sits*

Katie: *smiles* HEY I like this meeting even more now.

Lori: *grabs chequebook from purse* I need to give you an advance on the payment.

Katie: You're...paying me early?

Lori: There are some bills coming out next week that I'm helping pay for and if I don't do this now, my account will be wiped by the time you get your scheduled transaction and I don't want to go to court again. Better I do this instead of getting sued again for missing payments.

Katie: Well doesn't Scott make money? *looks at Scott*

Scott: She's insisting on paying for half the bills.

Katie: Alright then, if you say so. *mumbles* Maybe she needs your money for something else...

Lori: *lifts head* What was that?

Katie: Nothing.

Scott: She wants to know if you're using my money to pay for drugs.

Katie: *laughs* Oh YOU. I would never assume such a thing.

Lori: *rolls eyes, writing*

Scott: *sips coffee*

Katie: So what's with the bruises?

Lori: *rips cheque from book* He had a run-in with someone. *hands over cheque* Will that be enough to cover this week?

Katie: *looks down* Uh yes, it's more than enough.

Lori: *smiles* Good.

Scott: Hey listen, I'll be right back. *stands*

Katie: Where are you going?

Scott: Men's room.

Katie: Oh. Geez. Okay, have fun.

Scott: *walks away*

Katie: *places cheque in purse*

Lori: *leans back in chair*

Katie: You two seem happy together.

Lori: *stares at Katie*

Katie: Where'd you really get all this money?

Lori: My second account.

Katie: Which account is that?

Lori: *smirks*

Katie: *shakes head* Wow. You are a good liar. I didn't actually think you'd hold out that long. Doesn't seem worth it.

Lori: It's worth it when the boy toy's millions on the plus side.

Katie: You're going to take all of his money.

Lori: Now don't peg me as someone who's completely cold-hearted. I did make an effort afterall.

Katie: He loves you.

Lori: Men don't love. They're animals.

Katie: I'm going to tell your father everything, you know that.

Lori: *smiles* Who's he going to believe? The so-called evidence or your word? As far as he's concerned, you're the ex-bitch who cried wolf.

Katie: ...

Lori: *rolls eyes* Jesus, Mother you're so gullible. By account, I meant savings account. I'm not going to steal Scott's money.

Katie: ...You don't think men are animals?

Lori: *laughs* No. You really need to lighten up.

Katie: I can't when you say things like that.

Scott: *walks over, sits* Sorry, some guy took up the only hand dryer to dry his pants. I don't know exactly what happened but I'm not sure I want to.

Katie: Lori's going to steal all your money and leave you to die somewhere.

Scott: *looks at Katie*

Katie: Don't believe anything she says, you need to run. Fast.

Scott: *looks at Lori*

Lori: *reaches out hand*

Scott: *grabs money from pocket, gives to Lori*

Lori: *smiles*

Scott: Damn.

Lori: Told you she'd fall for it.

Scott: You get to buy dinner tonight then.

Lori: Deal.

Katie: Y...you...you bet money on me? You...I...I feel so cheated right now.

Lori: Well we have to get going.

Scott: Yep. *stands*

Lori: *stands*

Katie: Wait wait wait! *stands* Is that legal? Can you actually do that? Bet on me? Isn't that a little cruel?

Lori: *smiles* I'll see you later Mom. *hugs Katie*

Katie: *lifts brows*

Lori: *lets go* Don't spend that cash on anything stupid, alright? You've got one too many bottles of mustard lying around your house as it is.

Scott: *grabs Lori's hand*

Lori: Bye!

Katie: Uh...bye?

TBC.......................

 

Thanks so much for the reviews!

:devil:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horatio's office

Horatio: *sits on desk*

Jess: *sits* What's up?

Horatio: I'd like to know how you're doing.

Jess: You called me in here to check on me?

Horatio: Well you seemed a little on edge this morning.

Jess: So?

Horatio: I'd like to know what's wrong.

Jess: Nothing's wrong.

Horatio: Over the past week, your reports have been late, you've been working odd hours and nobody can seem to get a hold of you.

Jess: Yeah well how would you feel if you found out your boyfriend was cheating on you?

Horatio: *blinks*

Jess: Nevermind, don't answer that. But you know what really grates on my nerves? They're all out in the open about it but as soon as I come into the picture, it's hush-hush like nothing's happening. The whole lab seems to be in on it.

Horatio: You mean Eric and Calleigh.

Jess: SEE? I'm the last to find out about everything around here. And I'm not just mad because Eric's seeing some other woman who works with him and who he's known for years but it's the fact that he won't even try to fix the problems that we were having. I mean, he wanted to stay together but he's immature! How am I supposed to be with someone who buys teddy bears and gets stuck in Hummerhome windows barely large enough to catch dust bunnies?

Horatio: So...you didn't want to be with him, you didn't communicate about it and he decided to look for happiness with someone who was prepared to have a relationship with him.

Jess: Exactly.

Horatio: I don't mean to be insensitive but...didn't you bring this upon yourself?

Jess: *frowns*

Horatio: I'd like you to take a few days off.

Jess: *laughs* Oh no, you're not kicking me out of here because you're uncomfortable around angry scorned women. I can do my job just fine.

Horatio: I hope for your sake, you can.

Jess: *stands* Gee, thanks for the 'talk'. *leaves*

Horatio: *sigh*

Trace Lab

Katie: *walks in* Hey Speedle.

Speed: *writing* What.

Katie: Your daughter teased me.

Speed: Did you want to tell me something important?

Katie: No no, it's not just that she teased me, but...it was...she was happy.

Speed: Well you did sue her.

Katie: It wasn't even meant to be malicious. She was actually having fun.

Speed: She is a human being.

Katie: EXACTLY! Tim! We fixed her!

Speed: We didn't fix her.

Katie: She hugged me. This is the second time in a week that she's hugged me. I keep expecting a cold punch in the nose but I keep gettin' a warm embrace, it's like she's a completely different person.

Speed: Don't get too excited. Maybe she's just having a good day.

Katie: She paid me in advance.

Speed: ...

Katie: This could be everything I was hoping for! She could be normal again! She could be my daughter again! ISN'T THIS AWESOME?

Speed: I don't know.

Katie: Come on, you were the one that wanted me to get on the believing in her bandwagon, what's wrong with you?

Speed: I guess I'll have to see it with my own eyes. You do tend to exaggerate and besides, she's good at telling people what they want to hear.

Katie: I'll call her. *opens phone, dials*

Speed: Why?

Katie: So she can get her butt over here.

Speed: She's probably busy.

Katie: Nu uh she doesn't have work for another 2 hours. *on phone* HEY LORI GUESS WHAT! *runs away*

Speed: *shakes head*

Lounge

Lora: Okay! No more fire!

Jenna: Why?

Lora: Because I can't see through all the black smoke. *coughs* The glitter on the box is smelling toxic.

Jenna: Maybe it's a boobie trap.

Lora: Uh, okay Indiana. You want to hand me that latex glove?

Jenna: Sure. *hands over glove*

Lora: *puts on glove* Now we shall find out what is so darn top secret. *grabs lid*

Jenna: *bites nails*

Lora: *wipes sweat from forehead*

Jenna: *leans forward*

Lora: *slaps Jenna's nose* Not too close, fool.

Jenna: Oops.

Lora: *lifts box lid*

Jenna: *stares into box*

Lora: *stares into box*

Trace Lab, half hour later

Katie: *drags Lori in* Okay come on, get your heels movin' missy.

Lori: *rolls eyes* Was this really necessary?

Katie: Yes. Say hello to your father.

Lori: We've met.

Katie: Tell him.

Lori: Tell him what?

Speed: *writing*

Katie: Tell him what you told me about men.

Lori: That they aren't all animals? Yeah, I think biology and evolution got there before I did.

Katie: What else did you tell me?

Lori: I told you to lighten up. This doesn't count, by the way.

Katie: *smiling* I feel so proud.

Lori: *lifts brow* You're proud of me? What the hell for?

Katie: You're just so cute. *pinches Lori's cheeks* Look at you go!

Lori: *looks at Speed* Is she high?

Speed: I doubt it. Unfortunately.

Katie: Timmy, look at your daughter, all growed up! *claps*

Speed: You need to stop that.

Katie: Lori, don't mind your father. Something seems to have crawled up his butt and died. My guess is it's a very large stick or some kind of rabid squirrel.

Lori: You're not going to dangle a package of cocaine over my face again, are you?

Katie: OH! Good idea! *runs away*

Lori: I should have kept my mouth shut.

Speed: *flips page*

Lori: Do you need any help with anything?

Speed: *lifts eyes*

Lori: *smiles* Sorry, force of habit.

Speed: ...It's force of habit for you to offer help.

Lori: Scott must be wearin' off on me.

Speed: Mhm. *looks down at folder*

Lori: *grabs chair, sits*

Speed: *looks over*

Lori: What are you up to?

Speed: Work.

Lori: Sounds like a blast. Did you do anything fun today?

Speed: What's fun?

Lori: *smiles* Fun would be...taking the day off and spending it with your wife.

Speed: *looks at Lori*

Lori: You look beat.

Speed: I have paperwork to finish.

Lori: *stands, walks over* This paperwork?

Speed: Yeah.

Lori: *grabs folders*

Speed: *frowns*

Lori: You need a break. Hey look, I'll even get someone to finish these for you. *lifts hands, snaps* HEY! Nerdy kid with the tie clip! Got some work for ya! *walks across room* Here you go, earn your week's pay. Wow. Change your tie. Fried stuff with cheese doesn't usually go well with suspenders. *runs back over* Now you're free.

Speed: Unfortunately I'm not. I have to be at a scene in about 20 minutes.

Lori: *sigh* Great, now I have to learn how to raise the dead. Well you know me, I'm up for a challenge.

Speed: Why are you really trying to get me out of here?

Lori: *lifts right hand* My only motive is to see you live to Horatio's age with less wrinkles.

Speed: *smirks*

Lori: *smiles*

Katie: *runs over* I HAVE IT! I HAVE THE COCAINE! It was hard to come by but fortunately for us, narco just totally busted this boatload of stuff in one of those bays we have. *lifts package* Ooooh white gold!

Lori: *looks at Katie*

Katie: *dangles package* You are getting tempted, veeeeery tempted!

Lori: *crosses arms*

Katie: Don't you want some? *opens package*

Lori: You must have been one of those kids that completely screwed up the other kids on the playground.

Katie: *frowns* Snort this, biatch. *throws cocaine everywhere*

Lori: *steps back*

Katie: Did I get ya?

Lori: No. Your aim's getting better though. You know what they say, if you can't shoot your weapon at a suspect, throw some cocaine at him.

Katie: *narrows eyes* Cute.

TBC......................