Road Trip! The Final Frontier.

Thanks so much for the reviews everyone. - smooches -

I should have another update tomorrow afternoon or evening, depending on how busy I am tomorrow.

Again, thanks for reading!

 

Lol, thanks so much for the reviews.

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Chalet--Anni/Speed's room

Heather: Can I have another hug?

Speed: Sure! *hugs Heather* Ooh you're a cushy one.

Heather: WHAT!

Speed: *lets go* You're huggable.

Heather: Oh.

Speed: *smiles*

Anni: TIM! TIM!

Speed: WHAT! WHAT!

Anni: Oh my God.

Speed: WHAT!

Anni: My hands are SO COOL. *staring down at hands*

Speed: Oh my God they are! *grabs Anni's hands* These are the most beautiful hands I've ever seen. And I'm seeing some pretty new colors.

Lora: So you're not mad anymore that Eric blew up his toilet.

Speed: HA! Eric's a cool guy. Hey can he come join us?

Lora: *stares blankly*

Katie: You do realize you're high, right?

Speed: Is that why I feel a strange urge to say 'groovy'? GROOVY!

Anni: YAY!

Knock on door is heard

Horatio: Everything okay in there?

Speed: OH MY GOD IT'S THE FUZZ! RUN! *runs to window*

Anni: Shhh shhh he'll think we're tokin' up in here.

Lora: You were.

Anni: Good deal.

Horatio: *walks in* What are you guys doing? I thought I told you all to get into bed.

Speed: *closes window*

Horatio: Why does it smell horrible in here?

Anni: Speed did it.

Speed: Psha, I did not.

Anni: It was HEATHER!

Heather: IT WAS ERIC!

Horatio: I don't care who it was. Everyone in bed.

Speed: Can we sleep under the beds? I hear it's very relaxing, especially because it's dark and warm. Just like a little kitty sleeps behind the couch or in the bathroom.

Horatio: Are you feeling alright?

Speed: Red, you have no idea man.

Horatio: Did he just call me 'red'?

Anni: I think he did. *snorts*

Speed: Have you ever tried dying those lovely locks of yours? I have a great system to get rid of greys.

Horatio: My hair isn't grey.

Speed: You look in a mirror lately?

Horatio: *touches own head*

Speed: You should take Anni's example. Her hair is gorgeous.

Anni: *smiling*

Speed: Then again, all of her is gorgeous but I digress.

Horatio: Okay, who dosed him.

Lora: ...

Katie: ...

Heather: ...

Anni: I'M BAKED TOO! DON'T FORGET ME!

Horatio: Lora.

Lora: WHAT! It was Katie's idea.

Katie: That was only because you wanted to pull a prank.

Heather: *lifts hand* In my defense, I wanted to pull a prank on Ryan by dousing his sheets with bed bugs.

Horatio: No one's dousing anyone's sheets.

Anni: *strips off clothes* I WANT A TOGA! *grabs sheet from bed* TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! Damn, anyone have a closepin or something? And a bag of chips would be really great thanks.

Horatio: Everyone out. I want to talk to the persons who are not under the influence.

Outside room

Horatio: Okay. Who's weed was it?

Heather: *scratches head*

Lora: *kicking the floor*

Katie: *biting nails*

Horatio: Girls, I'd rather not search your bags.

Katie: Ugh fine, it was me.

Horatio: Where did you get it?

Katie: Like I told them, off that ski instructor. What an ass by the way.

Horatio: What need did you have for it?

Katie: I don't know, I thought it would be fun to have in case we-

Horatio: Did something such as what transpired earlier.

Katie: Yeah.

Horatio: And you know there's been a bit of a drug problem with our group.

Katie: No, I remember there being a drug problem with a small percentage of our group. And it's marijuana, it's not like it'll kill anyone.

Horatio: Heather, Lora, excuse us.

Lora: Sure. *leaves*

Heather: *leaves*

Horatio: So, this was your plan. Fume a little happiness into their room and then what?

Katie: Have fun. Come on, it's not like they're the party crashers. They need to lighten up a bit.

Horatio: By rendering them intoxicated.

Katie: What do you want me to say? That I had some alterior motive?

Horatio: Did you?

Katie: NO!

Horatio: Katie, I want you to tell me what's on your mind.

Katie: Why?

Horatio: Because I want to help.

Katie: Okay. *throws hands up in the air* I was feeling cruddy about myself because of yet another rejection and I decided at least if I could make the people around me happier then I would be happier.

Horatio: Did it work?

Katie: No, it made things awkward and weird. Especially since Speed got all huggie on everyone.

Horatio: Okay, in the future, before dosing your friends with weed, come talk to me.

Katie: Why so you can tell me not to?

Horatio: *smirks* Exactly.

Katie: *smiles*

Horatio: Get some rest. *leaves*

TBC......................

 

XD I wasn't watching that commercial but I really could have used some chips as I was writing. I suppose cake will do for now.

Thanks so much for the reviews everyone!

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Chalet, 9am, breakfast table

Horatio: So how was everyone's sleep?

Delko: *smelling sleeve* I still smell like poop.

Lora: You don't change your shirts, or what?

Delko: I don't think that would help.

Speed: *reading paper* Well you might think of getting a new wardrobe then.

Delko: Aren't you supposed to be high or something?

Speed: No, that wore off in about an hour. Huh, people sell weird things in the Classifieds.

Katie: What are they selling?

Speed: This one guy's selling a pink flamingo for 42.99.

Katie: Aren't those worth like a buck?

Speed: Exactly. Who's going to dish out 40 bucks?

Delko: *grabs paper* Hey my flamingo made it into the Classifieds!

Heather: No one's going to buy it.

Ryan: *fiddling with phone* Eric, did you put it on Ebay?

Delko: Why?

Ryan: I just found a pink flamingo for 42.99 by a user called 'SexayPlayaMate2000'.

Delko: ...That's not mine.

Ryan: Sure it isn't Eric, sure it isn't.

Lora: Hey I'll get in on the deal. *grabs phone* I've always wanted a cheap pink piece of crap to put on my front lawn.

Cellphone rings

Katie: *grabs phone from purse*

Delko: Gee, someone's important.

Katie: Shh. *turns head* Hello?

Horatio: *opens brochure* I found a great place to spend the day.

Lora: It's not some kind of museum, is it?

Horatio: Nope. *lays out brochure* BASKETVILLE!

Heather: Please don't tell me it's what I think it is.

Horatio: *reads* Handcraft baskets, silk flowers, uncommon home accessories, dried out flowers and my favorite, classic wicker furniture. OH they take Visa, we're going.

Calleigh: I'm all for handcrafted baskets but...isn't that a little...

Lora: Gay?

Horatio: Nonsense. Don't get so stereotypical. It's a great place to find new and inventive things for the Hummerhome and it's all at a low low price.

Lora: You sound like a friggin' salesman. *grabs brochure* We're going to the Ben & Jerry's factory tour. See it says here that it's great fun for the whole family. Plus, kids under 12 are free. Eric, you're in luck.

Delko: YES! ICE CREAM!

Calleigh: Ice cream doesn't sit well with me. *grabs brochure* OH A WINERY! We have to go the winery! Please can we go to the winery? The tour's free.

Horatio: Normally I'd consider it but with everyone's history with alcohol..

Lora: Oh come on, it's not like we're going to get drunk off of it. Besides, they probably frown upon stealing wine.

Carly: Frown upon?

Lora: *shrugs*

Delko: *grabs brochure* BROMLEY MOUNTAIN! LOOK! LOOK! Vermont's largest summer fun park. Waterslides, minigolf, trampolines, g-

Anni: OH MY GOD MINIGOLF! WE ARE SO GOING!

Horatio: But what about Basketville?

Anni: *grabs Horatio by the hair* We're going to the fun park.

Horatio: Okay okay.

Bromley Mountain

Guy: *popping gum* Welcome to Bromley Mountain. *deadpans* The funnest fun park in all of Vermont. The joy of Cola.

Horatio: *pulls out wallet* How much?

Guy: *chewing gum* 12 bucks.

Horatio: Per person?

Guy: *taps the sign*

Horatio: ...But there are 14 of us.

Guy: 12 bucks a pop.

Horatio: Are there any youth prices?

Guy: *stares at RT crowd* ...None of them look under 6.

Lora: You obviously haven't met Eric.

Delko: *nods*

Guy: *sigh* Parties over 10 get 15% off.

Horatio: Oh good.

Guy: So who's birthday is it?

Horatio: What?

Guy: Parties over 10 meaning birthday parties.

Horatio: Uh, it's no one's birthday.

Lora: H, you could have gotten 15% off.

Horatio: I'm not going to lie.

Lora: Who cares!

Horatio: *sigh* Anyone here celebrating anything?

Delko: I tried on a thong last night.

Horatio: That's not something worth celebrating, Eric.

Carly: I lost 10 pounds.

Horatio: Perfect. One Weight Watchers party.

Guy: *chewing gum* They don't count.

Horatio: Why not?

Guy: Has to be a birthday.

Horatio: Are there any other discounts available?

Guy: *shrugs* Senior discount.

Horatio: ...

Guy: *pops gum*

Horatio: *frowns* Fine. One senior.

Delko: Which one of us is the senior?

Top of Alpine Slide

Carly: ACK! Stop pushing me!

Anni: Come on, go down the slide already.

Carly: I'm just observing the height.

Anni: You can observe it on the way down.

Heather: Anni, wait your turn.

Anni: Come on, I had to wait for the fat kid and the couple who were going at it. Now I'm stuck behind the Australian with Vertigo. Do you realize how many fish-tanned old guys are behind us?

Carly: Just let me breathe okay?

Anni: You got 10 seconds, then I'm pushing you.

Carly: Stop!

Anni: *pushing Carly*

Carly: KNOCK IT OFF!

Heather: Anni, just let her take her time.

Carly: Thank you.

Anni: Move it. *pushes Carly*

Carly: AHHH! *falls down slide*

Anni: *smiles* There you go! Isn't that better?!

Carly: *screaming*

Anni: Wow. She shot down there like a bullet. I'm not sure I want to know what part of that bathing suit didn't stay in place.

Heather: You're holding up the line.

Anni: *jumps into slide* WEEE!

Bottom of pool

Carly: *wiping eyes* I think I just swallowed something.

Anni: *splashes into pool*

Carly: *frowning*

Anni: THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN! LET'S GO AGAIN! LET'S GO AGAIN!

Carly: No. *shakes head*

Anni: God, you're like a drowned rat.

Carly: *gets out of pool*

Few feet away

Horatio: *lays in lawn chair* Ah, the open skies.

Calleigh: That's a mural.

Horatio: Still, it's nice. *opens book* I've been meaning to get back to my reading.

Calleigh: How come you aren't having fun with everyone else?

Horatio: I heard Carly's screams from that death slide. No way I'm going down that.

Calleigh: There are other things to do. The rest of us are going mini golf later.

Horatio: I think I'll relax for a while first.

Calleigh: Alright. *smiles* I'll come get you later.

Multi-faced climbing wall

Delko: *holding onto rocks* Okay! I think this was a very very bad idea.

Lora: *climbing* Why?

Delko: I don't know how to get down.

Lora: You just let go.

Delko: No way in hell.

Lora: Then you're going to be stuck on the wall forever.

Delko: AH! *hugs wall*

Lora: *rolls eyes* If you won't go up, move out of the way.

Delko: I can't.

Lora: Yes you can.

Delko: No I can't.

Lora: Yes you can now move! *kicks Eric*

Delko: STOP THE KICKING! STOP THE KICKING!

Lora: You're such a baby. *kicking Eric*

Delko: *screaming*

Lora: *climbs over Eric's head*

Delko: OW! OW!

Giant trampoline

Anni: *runs over*

Heather: Wow.

Anni: ...It's...It's AMAZING!

Heather: You going to try it?

Anni: Of course I'm going to try it.

Carly: You're going to hurt yourself.

Anni: No I'm not.

Carly: Anni, you're going to die. You don't want your epitaph to be 'death by giant trampoline' do you?

Anni: ...Cool.

Carly: *rolls eyes*

Anni: ME FIRST! ME FIRST! Out of my way stupid little kids! *jumps onto trampoline* WEEEEEEE! WEEEEEEE! WEEEEEE! COME JOIN ME!

Heather: It looks nausiating.

Carly: And dangerous.

Heather: *shrugs* Might be fun.

Carly: You are not doing that.

Heather: Oh have some fun you old grump. *jumps onto trampoline* WEEEEEE!

Anni: THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! *does a backflip*

Carly: Yeah well it's all fun and games until someone gets caught in the springs!

TBC.......................

 

David just turned 51 or 52 I believe.

And this fic makes cracks about his age because 1)it's satire and 2) they don't make fun of it on the show so I must. Ie. Satire.

BWAHA. Well, at least a lame attempt. But I digress.

Oh my Gawd Anni, my daddy is 56. You must be a youngin' (Okay, I know you're older than me but I have the firm belief that age is simply a number)

And hey, what's wrong with basket weaving.

Thanks for the reviews!

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Bromley Mountain--Vermont

Outdoor cafeteria

Delko: *walks over, grabs hotdog* Thanks man.

Speed: *stares at Eric*

Delko: You been to the rock climbing area? It's fun.

Speed: Sorry, I was having too much fun watching Anni kill herself on the trampoline.

Delko: *smiles* Yeah but she's wearing a bikini.

Speed: *smirks*

Delko: Hey man, I was meaning to uh, talk to you.

Speed: About what?

Delko: Jess. She's over with Heather in the gift shop.

Speed: ..So?

Delko: ...You and Anni have been through some rough terrain before, right?

Speed: At least not in any gift shops to my knowledge.

Delko: I'm being serious.

Speed: Yeah, we've had some rough spots. So have you and Jess.

Delko: I know. *scoffs* But you and Anni are still married.

Speed: Ah.

Delko: I've been feeling kind of lonely lately. I mean, not really in that way but uh *laughs* Sometimes it sucks ordering a room for one.

Speed: *nods*

Delko: You know, I could have sworn for a while there that Jess still loved me. *looks down at ground* She's really the only one that takes me seriously.

Speed: You two have been through a lot. I'm sure she still cares about you.

Delko: *shakes head* That's not enough.

Speed: Then what is? I mean, I'm not one to preach about how you should treat a woman but you might want to talk to her about this.

Delko: Look, you've been through this. How did Anni fall in love with you?

Speed: *lifts brow*

Delko: Nevermind, bad example.

Speed: She loved you before, you must have done something right.

Delko: *nods*

Speed: And hey, I think you've gotten more mature. If you want my opinion, it might be the stability that she's looking for. And attention never hurts.

Delko: Thanks. Uh...before I go talk to her...could you maybe...talk to her? Just to see what kind of mood she's in.

Speed: *frowns*

Delko: Hey you said I got more mature, not completely mature.

Speed: *rolls eyes* Alright, fine. But you owe me a hot dog.

Delko: *salutes* No problem.

Speed: *walks away*

Delko: Huh. What the hell is a hogie?

Gift shop

Heather: Don't buy the giant turtle.

Jess: Why not? 5 bucks isn't bad.

Heather: Half the sticker's missing. That's 50 bucks.

Jess: *drops turtle*

Speed: *walks over* Hey.

Jess: *smiles* Hi.

Speed: Eric's buying lunch if you girls are interested.

Heather: Can't, sorry. Have to wait a while after I swim. But if he's buying drinks, I'm there.

Speed: Yeah.

Heather: Sweet. *leaves*

Speed: Hey Wyoming, you interested?

Jess: *picks up snowglobe, shrugs*

Speed: You'd better get in on it before he realizes what I just did to his wallet.

Jess: *smirks* Thanks but I'll sit out on that one.

Speed: He really wants to buy you lunch, I suggest you take the offer.

Jess: *looks at Speed* If he wants to talk to me, he should just do it himself instead of sending you.

Speed: *shrugs* Alright. I don't know what your issue with him is b-

Jess: *sigh* I just don't know if he's right for me.

Speed: He was once.

Jess: I was stupid once.

Speed: Jess...Eric is probably a better man than I'll ever be. I trust him, you should too.

Jess: *looks over at cafeteria*

Speed: *walks away*

Cafeteria

Jess: *walks over*

Delko: *turns around* Whoa.

Jess: *hugs Eric*

Delko: *blinks*

Jess: *sigh* I'm tired of ordering tables for one.

Delko: *smiles*

Jess: *lets go*

Delko: *clears throat* What do you say we uh, ditch this place and go somewhere real to talk.

Jess: *lifts brows* What did you have in mind?

Delko: *grabs Jess' hand*

Jess: *smiles*

Small restaurant, Vermont

Jess: *sits*

Delko: *sits*

Jess: *looks around*

Delko: You worried about something?

Jess: No, it's just...I haven't really been on any sort of date in a while.

Delko: It doesn't have to be a date. *looks down at table* Sorry I took you away from there so fast, I-

Jess: No. No, it's okay. Truth is, it hasn't been just us for a long time. *scoffs* Our relationship has always been anything but slow anyhow.

Delko: You think we rushed into things?

Jess: Maybe.

Delko: *nods*

Jess: I um, I didn't leave because I didn't love you. It just felt like we sprinted into a relationship and we both weren't prepared for one. But when I called you and you actually showed up...I was surprised.

Delko: I was surprised you even called.

Jess: *drinks water*

Delko: *laughs*

Jess: ...What?

Delko: I spent a lot of time thinking when I got to Sacramento. I was thinking what a great place it would be to settle down. To raise a family.

Jess: *stares at Eric*

Delko: I guess I never really thought that before in Miami.

Jess: Really gives the 'you don't know what you have until it's gone' saying a whole new meaning.

Delko: Yeah.

Jess: So what now?

Delko: I think taking things slow this time around would be a good idea.

Jess: Mhm.

Delko: Good. All things said, feel free to take a look at your menu.

Jess: *smiles* Don't mind if I do. *opens menu* HOLY CROW...40 bucks for a steak?

Delko: They have lobster too.

Jess: ...Yeah for double that.

Delko: Don't worry about it.

Jess: Uh this coming from the man who was willing to sell an over-priced plastic flamingo on Ebay.

Delko: *laughs* Seriously, don't worry about it.

Jess: If you say so.

TBC....................