Road Trip! The Final Frontier.

I'll hold you to that, heh. But between you and Lora... :lol:

Yes Lora, we have an air force. It's probably just two guys sittin' in a Cessna smokin' a joint but hey, I'll take that over our Navy. :lol:

And yeah, they were supposed to go to Russia 3 pages ago but...There's so much to be explored on the way. Not much fun if we had a huge gap--but that's a matter of perspective.

That's because it's normal for them to duke it out. :lol:

Wee! Thanks so much for the reviews everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Russia--Anadyr--Hotel

Lora: TADA! *swings door open*

Everyone: ...

Anni: Is there a moth repeatedly hitting that oil lamp?

Lora: You're getting a feel for the wildlife. Good.

Carly: This is a crap hole.

Lora: And it's only 50 Rubles a night.

Katie: Is there plumbing?

Lora: Down the hall.

Katie: Down the WHAT?

Lora: There's a bathroom down the hall.

Katie: ...We're sharing one bathroom.

Lora: You can pee in your bed, I don't have a problem with it.

Horatio: Okay people, let's get into our rooms and get settled in.

Katie: Fine. *tugs on closet door* ...*tugs closet door*

Door swings open and covers entrance

Katie: Great. If I need two doors, I know where to find an extra one.

Everyone walks away

Katie: *closes closet door* AH!

Speed: *crosses arms*

Katie: *clutches chest* Please don't do that.

Speed: *lifts book* This fell out of your suitcase in the hallway.

Katie: *stares at book*

Speed: I didn't know you kept a diary.

Katie: *grabs book* Yeah well I plan on writing a book about my life someday and I'm going to need to remember the details. You didn't open it, did you?

Speed: No.

Katie: Good. *throws book into closet* You'd better get to your room before someone breaks in and steals...The mattress.

Speed: *smirks* Goodnight. *leaves*

Katie: *closes door* ...AH OH MY GOD I CAN'T BREATHE! *opens door, runs out*

Carly: *looks out from room* You okay?

Katie: *hyperventilating, gives 'okie dokie' signal*

Carly: It's a tight squeeze but it's not that bad.

Katie: I know but...It feels like a coffin, y'know? I'm going to spend the night alone in a coffin with a closet.

Carly: At least Lora didn't get us a hotel underground.

Katie: *laughs*

Lora: *from bathroom* I CAN HEAR YOU!

Carly: ..Is the bathroom door open?

Lora: It didn't have a door.

Katie: *bangs head against wall*

Delko: *walks over* Can we sleep in the hallway?

Lora: I HEARD THAT!

Delko: *looks over* How come there's no door on the bathroom?

Lora: *throws toilet paper*

Delko: AH! *ducks* What's in that, sandpaper?

Lora: Yeah.

Delko: Ew.

Lilly: *walks over* Can we sleep in the hallway?

Lora: SERIOUSLY!

Lilly: It's just...There's rat droppings in my room and it smells like blood in there.

Delko: You should see the walls in my room.

Carly: Mine has bullet holes in it.

Lora: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! *runs out of bathroom* You guys don't appreciate anything!

Carly/Katie/Delko/Lilly: *look down*

Lora: AH! *pulls up jeans* Okay none of you saw that.

Missy: *from other room* I just got a picture of it on my phone.

Lora: *frowns* Pfft you won't get any money for that. I was wearing underwear.

Missy: Oh no, I don't want money. I'm going to post it on YouTube. I got a video before I took the picture.

Lora: ...

Horatio: *opens door* Guys, bed.

Lora: But she took a video of me without my pants on!

Horatio: ...I don't want to know. *closes door*

Lora: Damnit Missy.

Carly: Are there any bars or anything around town?

Lora: There's a couple down the street.

Carly: Anyone want to hang out there for a while?

Katie: I'm game.

Lilly: Why not, it's better than staying here.

Lora: BITE YOUR TONGUE.

Missy: Didn't Horatio tell us to go to bed?

Carly: I'm not going to be able to sleep here anyway, I might as well have some fun.

Lilly: Cool, let's see if the rest of the team wants to come. *knocks on door*

Speed: *opens the door* What.

Lilly: Want to come to the bar? ...Wearing a shirt?

Speed: I was in bed.

Lora: Is anyone going to take a picture of him too?

Missy: *looking down at phone* Believe me, he won't get the same kind of hits as your video.

Lora: What?

Missy: Well, he'll get views based on hotness and you'll get views based on the pure hilarity of your situation. Right Katie? *elbows Katie*

Katie: ...What? What were we talking about?

Missy: YouTube.

Katie: *blinks* Still?

Lora: Missy can I see your phone?

Missy: No. You'll break it.

Lora: I promise I won't.

Missy: Oh, okay. *hands over phone*

Lora: *smashes phone against wall*

Missy: ...

Lora: Now let's hit the clubs. Speed, you comin' or not?

Speed: I don't think so.

Lora: Come on! Don't make me beat you.

Missy: CALLEIGH! RYAN! WE'RE GOING TO THE CLUB, WANNA COME?

Calleigh: *opens door* I'm there.

Ryan: *open door* Anything but this place.

Heather: *opens door* ...Can I come too?

Missy: Well I want everyone to join us but...Okay I just didn't say your names so be that way. I don't care.

Calleigh: *smiles* So where are we goin'?

Lora: Down the street.

Delko: Okay but let's not get arrested in Russia.

Lora: We won't be.

Carly: You do realize that means nothing.

Lora: Then I guess it's a good thing we're only a block away.

Calleigh: C'mon Tim, you don't want to be stuck here all night, do you?

Speed: *sigh* Fine.

Calleigh: Great!

Club

Lora: I LOVE THIS CLUB THERE ARE NAKED MEN EVERYWHERE!

Calleigh: *drinks shot* MHM!

Katie: *eating chips*

Missy: Too bad I don't still have my phone.

Ryan: I'm feeling kind of uncomfortable. You sure this isn't some kind of strip bar?

Speed: It's not.

Ryan: I feel like I shouldn't be here.

Delko: *dancing on table* HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME! *slaps own butt*

Calleigh: WOO! *throws money*

Ryan: I definitely feel like I shouldn't be here.

Lora: *jumps onto table* I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE! *throws beer across room*

Katie: *pouring beer on a fly*

Ryan: I think I need more alcohol.

Calleigh: *laughs* Yes, you do.

Ryan: I'll go get another round.

Missy: I like Russians. They're so...So...They wear a lot of clothes.

Calleigh: Those aren't his clothes.

Missy: ...Oh my.

2am

Lora: *falls off table* Okay, I can't dance to Shakira anymore.

Calleigh: You were doin' great.

Lora: Are my hips still girating?

Calleigh: A little bit.

Delko: *jumps off table, runs over* Any beer left?

Speed: *hands over beer* You in the running for the next Ricky Martin?

Delko: *laughs* I'm one pair of leather pants short of that privelage.

Speed: *laughs*

Missy: I LIKE RUSSIA! *points to people* YOU GUYS ARE THA BESTEST EVER! *twirls around, falls backward*

Calleigh: *grabs Missy* Whoa there.

Heather: *stacking beer bottles* Hey if you look real close, all of these bottles have flies in them.

2:50 am--Back of club, in alley

Lora: *hiccups* Okay who sees the hotel.

Delko: I see three of them.

Calleigh: LET'S GO AGAIN! LET'S GO AGAIN!

Missy: No!

Heather: *laughs* No, I think we've had enough.

Missy: Ugh, I think I'm going to lay in this snow bank for a while. *falls over*

Calleigh: I DON'T FEEL COLD AT ALL!

Delko: We didn't even get arrested today. I feel so proud of us.

Katie: *rolls eyes* Yeah feel proud.

Speed: What's wrong with you?

Katie: I don't know, maybe the naked Russians and Eric's impersonation of Ricky Martin wasn't as fun as it could have been.

Delko: HEY. I am a very good Ricky. *speaks in thick spanish accent* I am the sexy latino known as Ricky. You shall all worship my leather pants and pointy shoes.

Katie: *laughs*

Speed: You know, you're prettier when you're happy.

Katie: And you're weird when you've had one too many drinks.

Calleigh: IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ALCOHOL IT'S ABOUT THE FUUN! WEEEE!

TBC.................

 

Thanks for the reviews y'all. (Lora, that sucks what happened to your family, I'm glad you're okay!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hotel--4am

Katie: *tugging on door* Ugh, I can't believe I'm stuck in my room. OPEN! *slams hand into door* Ugh. *banging head against door* OPEN! OPEN! OPEN!

Door swings open

Katie: AH! *falls over*

Speed: *walks out of bathroom* Are you okay?

Katie: I'm fine. *frowns* I hate my room.

Speed: *grabs Katie's hand*

Katie: *stands* Thanks. So where's everyone else?

Speed: Well half of them are passed out and the rest of them went to see the sights.

Katie: And why are you still here?

Speed: Because I'm not drunk enough to pass out but too tipsy to walk on ice. Horatio decided I wasn't 'worth the risk'.

Katie: *laughs*

Speed: What are you still doing here?

Katie: I got stuck in my room so I couldn't go with them.

Speed: Well what's wrong with the door?

Katie: I don't know.

Speed: *walks into room, looks at door*

Katie: *walks in*

Speed: This hinge looks like it's been glued to the wall.

Katie: That's stupid.

Speed: Well that can't be the only thing keeping the door from opening. *closes door*

Door clicks

Katie: ...Way to go.

Speed: Hm. *kneels*

Katie: What?

Speed: There's ice on the floor.

Katie: You mean the door keeps freezing shut?

Speed: Make sense, there's cracks in the floor and there's cold air rushing up.

Katie: So that's why it's so friggin' cold in here.

Speed: *stands* Yeah.

Katie: Well, problem solved. *tugs door* ...*yanks door*...

Speed: Oops.

Katie: You're an idiot.

Speed: Why didn't I see that coming?

Katie: Because you're an idiot. Kick the door down.

Speed: *looks at Katie* What?

Katie: You know, do that cop thing and kick the door down.

Speed: I can't kick through ice.

Katie: Yeah. And you ain't even a cop anymore.

Speed: *rolls eyes*

Katie: Great. *sits on bed* So now what do we do?

Speed: Try to warm up the room and melt the ice.

Katie: ...

Speed: ...

Katie: What?

Speed: Do you have a blowdryer or something?

Katie: Yeah just let me whip it out of my pocket.

Speed: *laughs*

Katie: You wouldn't think that was funny if your little party friends hadn't forced you to go clubbing.

Speed: Katie, lighten up.

Katie: Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black?

Speed: If I knew what that was, I could answer.

Katie: Ugh.

Speed: What's your problem?

Katie: I'M STUCK IN A ROOM WITH YOU!

Speed: So climb out the window.

Katie: It has bars on it!

Speed: ...Are you sure this isn't a prison?

Katie: Who cares. Ugh this is worse than being stuck in an elevator.

Speed: Well yeah, elevators can fall.

Katie: That's not what I meant. *stands* Are you not getting it? This is going to look VERY bad.

Speed: To who?

Katie: Uh EVERYONE.

Speed: Everyone's not here.

Katie: And guess who's gonna have to open the door for us.

Speed: The firemen?

Katie: Ugh. BE SERIOUS.

Speed: Katie, no one's going to care that I got us locked in your room.

Katie: Anni might.

Speed: Why would she care?

Katie: *blinks* Okay I'm starting to think Eric and you switched brains. *zips up jacket* Aren't you cold?

Speed: Not really.

Katie: Well I don't have much body fat.

Speed: *lifts brow* And I do?

Katie: Ugh, nevermind.

Speed: *stands* Look, I know you're pissed 'cause it's cold but we won't be in here forever so live with it.

Katie: I can't live with it if I'm going to DIE because of it.

Speed: *lays on bed* Get over it.

Katie: You know how many brain cells you lose everytime you get hammered?

Speed: I'm not hammered.

Katie: Yeah well then there must be another cause for your stupidity.

Speed: *mumbles* Someone's PMS-ing.

Katie: *looks at Speed* No I'm not.

Speed: Fine.

Katie: *sits on bed* HELP! SOMEONE HELP! ANYONE IN THIS FREAKING HOTEL THAT ISN'T PASSED OUT! HELP!

Speed: *sits up, covers Katie's mouth* Can you stop that? THAT looks bad.

Katie: *pushes Speed* I know but I thought maybe it would get someone over here.

Speed: And get me arrested?

Katie: HAHA that would actually be funny. Okay it cheered me up.

Speed: Great.

Katie: OH let's play Truth or Dare.

Speed: No.

Katie: Yes. Okay, I pick truth.

Speed: Can you stop talking?

Katie: No. Okay you're next. Truth or Dare.

Speed: *sigh* It doesn't matter which one I pick, I won't want to do or say it.

Katie: That's the fun in the game. Yours will be dare. I dare you to kick the door down.

Speed: Sorry, I don't do that.

Katie: Fine. Then you get truth which by the way is always ten times worse than dare. So. Who's hotter, Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent?

Speed: Well Clark has the hair but Bruce has the suit.

Katie: *lifts brow*

Speed: What? You wanted me to answer.

TBC..................

 

Lol, Lilly of course I remembered. You haven't been gone THAT long. But I'll be glad to see you around here more often.

Heh, Lora it's just a little joke about Russia. Have to add in some stereotypes every now and then. I promise I won't keep doing it forever, heh.

Anni, you'd be surprised what could go down. (why did I just make that sound really dirty? I guess it's just me)

Merry Christmas everyone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mall, 5am

Carly: How did you get 'em to open the mall this early?

Horatio: *looking down at cellphone* Well I made a call to some friends.

Ryan: The Russian mafia?

Horatio: *smirks*

Jess *rolls eyes* So what are we going to be doing?

JC: I think we should buy some food. I've always wanted to try gurkins.

Ryan: *reading menu* What's a...Mors and medovuha?

JC: If Lora wasn't passed out, she'd be able to help.

Ryan: Yeah and if Delko wasn't an idiot, HE could help out.

Horatio: They're alcoholic drinks.

Everyone: *looks at Horatio*

Horatio: ...She's been educating me.

Ryan: AHA! Vodka. Now I know that one.

Horatio: Please, let's not try any of the local alcohols.

Ryan: But we have Vodka in the US.

Man: *walks over* YOU! American!

Ryan: *looks over* Uh oh, big Russian man.

Man: What you doing near my store!

Ryan: Browsing?

Man: You steal!

Ryan: No! No no, I'm not stealing anything.

Man: No one come here at 5 in morning!

Ryan: We got permission. Right guys?

Everyone: *backs up slowly*

Ryan: Oh come on.

Man: You get out of my store.

Ryan: I'm not trying to start any trouble here, really.

Man: Then you pay me money and I look other way.

Ryan: I didn't steal anything!

Man: *reaches out hand* A 'bribe' as they say in your country.

Ryan: Ugh. *hands over money*

Man: This is not money. *spits*

Ryan: What? Thats 20 bucks.

Man: No American money. I get shot with American money.

Ryan: I don't have any Rubles.

Man: Then you die. *pulls out gun*

Horatio: Whoa! Whoa, let's calm down. Sir, ever hear of Ebay?

Man: Yes, one of those water circles.

Horatio: No, not a 'bay'. Ebay. It's on the internet.

Man: I know what internet is. I join messageboard. Very educational.

Horatio: *hands over money* This is worth a lot on Ebay. Buy yourself something nice and it'll get here within 6 to 8 weeks.

Man: I buy American things. I get women.

Horatio: *laughs* One step at a time.

Man: *laughs, slaps Horatio on the back* I like you.

Horatio: Oof.

Man: *walks away*

Ryan: I almost got beaten up by a Russian.

JC: I don't like this mall.

Horatio: Come on, let's continue.

Hotel

Katie: *bouncing paper ball off wall*

Speed: You ever notice the lights in this place have a lot of dead flies in them?

Katie: *stops bouncing paper* ...I wasn't paying a lot of attention to the lights.

Speed: You know, if you forget about the door, the size of the room, the dirty lights and the freezing temperatures, it's quite quaint.

Katie: *looks over* Are you kidding?

Speed: I grew up in New York. My bedroom was only a few feet bigger than this one.

Katie: Well I hate enclosed spaces.

Speed: I know.

Katie: *sigh* I need to leave. *stands*

Speed: And how do you plan on doing that?

Katie: I can't stay here. *pulling door*

Speed: I think we're already tried that way.

Katie: Come help me open this!

Speed: *sits up* Are you okay?

Katie: Get me the blanket or something so I can warm up the door.

Speed: *lifts brow*

Katie: GET IT!

Speed: Alright, calm down. *walks over* We're going to get out.

Katie: *covers eyes* No, we're not. We're not.

Speed: Hey, look at me.

Katie: No.

Speed: *grabs Katie's hand* Come sit down on the bed.

Katie: *walks over to bed, sits*

Speed: I'll get the door open. You sit here and relax.

Katie: *sigh*

Speed: Okay?

Katie: *nods*

Speed: *walks over to door*

Katie: How are you going to open it?

Speed: I don't know. Warming it seems like the only option.

Katie: So...My original idea.

Speed: Basically.

Katie: ...Isn't it Christmas?

Speed: *looks at watch* It has been for a while.

Katie: Oh. Merry Christmas.

Speed: Same to you.

Katie: ...

Speed: *looks around*

Katie: Where's my gift?

Speed: *stares at Katie* Excuse me?

Katie: Well I should get a present, right?

Speed: Did you see me bring any presents in?

Katie: *frowns* You don't get it.

TBC.....................