~Quotes You WON'T Hear # 3~

Discussion in 'CSI: Miami' started by Need4Speed, Jul 29, 2007.

  1. Carolyn_333

    Carolyn_333 Pathologist

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2004
    Messages:
    1,445
    Likes Received:
    2
    I know this is longer than 4-5 lines but it's short as I can make it and include everyone.

    When Stetler tries to find out what's going on but no one will tell him. What's going on is Horatio and the gang are just seeing how annoying and mean they can be to Stetler. Actually, it's me coming up with yet another way to be mean to Stetler. :devil:

    I call this set of quotes...
    Keeping Stetler In The Dark

    Stetler: Horatio.
    Horatio: Eric.
    Eric: Ryan.
    Ryan: Frank.
    Frank: Calleigh.
    Calleigh: Jake
    Jake: Natalia.
    Natalia: Valera.
    Valera: Alexx.
    Alexx: Cooper.
    Cooper: Stetler.
    Stetler: Great. Now that we all know each other. Someone please tell me what's going on here.
    Horatio: Eric, tell Rick what's going on.
    Eric: Ryan, Horatio said to tell Stetler what's going on.
    Ryan: Not me. Frank, do me a favor, tell Stetler what's going on.
    Frank: I don't do favors for a dust monkey whose last name is the same as an animal. Calleigh, tell Stetler what's going on.
    Calleigh: Jake, be a sweetheart and save me from having look at or talk to Stetler. You tell Stetler what's going on here.
    Jake: I would but I don't know what's going on here, myself. Natalia, you tell Stetler what's going on.
    Natalia: My lips are sealed. Valera, you tell Stetler what's going on.
    Valera: I would but I'm like Jake. I don't know what's going on here, either. Alexx, would you please tell Stetler what's going on here???
    Alexx: I would. But I made a vow to myself to NEVER speak to ANY IA officer unless I absolutely have to. This doesn't qualify as absolutely have to. Cooper, you tell Stetler what's going on here.
    Cooper-(in a whining voice): Horatio, please tell Stetler what's going on. I don't wanna have to deal with him.
    Horatio: OK. Rick. Nothing is going on here. Isn't that right folks???
    Eric: Yep.
    Ryan: That's right, Horatio.
    Frank: Yes sir. Nothing is going on here.
    Calleigh: Horatio's right. Nothing is going on here.
    Jake: Nothing but the rent is going on here, Sgt. Stetler.
    Natalia: All's quiet here. Nothing's happening.
    Valera: Just like Horatio said, nothing is going on here.
    Alexx: Not a cotton-picking thing is going on here.
    Cooper: Nothing's going on here. Trust me. I'm too bored for there to be anything going on here.
    Stetler(sarcastically): Yeah, sure there's nothing going on here. And I'm Tim Speedle's biological father.
    Group: *GASP* YOU ARE?!?!?!
    Speedle's ghost-(without being seen or heard): ICK. If I didn't know Stetler was being sarcastic, I'd give myself a ghostly DNA test.
     
  2. timspeedlefan

    timspeedlefan Prime Suspect

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2007
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    0
    Those are funny. I especially love the Speed/Eric one's and the Barney one too (Ok, all the ones with Speed in it). :lol:
     
  3. dogbert14

    dogbert14 Rookie

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2007
    Messages:
    244
    Likes Received:
    0
    At a crime scene...

    A man lies dead on the floor with six gunshot wounds to the chest. His wife walks in.

    H: Mrs. Carten?

    Mrs. Carten: Yes?

    H: I am sorry to inform you that your husband has been murdered. He was a good cop.

    Mrs. Carten: My husband was no cop!

    H: Then he would've been a good cop.

    Mrs. Carten: I don't understand this...and who is that guy?

    She points to a man in the corner, who is wielding a gun and crying, saying "I'm sorry..."

    Eric: Oh, he? He's been disturbing our investigation since we arrived.

    H: You are disgusting, Mrs. Carten. Your husband isn't even cold yet and already you are interested in other men. You're under arrest.

    Mrs. Carten: WHAT?!

    She's cuffed and taken away.

    H: What's that, Eric?

    He points to Eric's service pistol.

    H: A gun! And I bet your fingerprints are on it, too.

    Eric: WHAT? H, I'm a cop! Of course I have a gun!

    H (to officers): Take him, please.

    Eric, dumbfounded, is taken away.

    H: Guys like you discredit the whole police!
     
  4. timspeedlefan

    timspeedlefan Prime Suspect

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2007
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh that was funny too Dogbert14. :lol:
     
  5. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    This is really random and would not be heard ever!

    Stetler:Horatio admit it!
    H: Fine. You were right, we're all just a bunch of self rightous hipicrates that are using our power to abuse he citizens of Miami.
     
  6. HoratioStalker

    HoratioStalker CSI Level One

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2007
    Messages:
    958
    Likes Received:
    3
    Alexx - "Horatio honey, I gotta tell you something. Those weird stances you take where you can't look anyone straight in the eye just freak me out."

    Horatio - "Alexx... I know what you mean... the way you talk to dead people... scares me."

    Sorry, they sounded better on the way home... must be the long day! :lol:
     
  7. imissJessop

    imissJessop Victim

    Joined:
    May 9, 2007
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    This one is for more Recent Eppies

    Horatio- "Hi Calleigh"
     
  8. Della

    Della Police Officer

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2007
    Messages:
    328
    Likes Received:
    0
    :lol: Short, sweet, to the point and very very funny :lol:

    :D
     
  9. Need4Speed

    Need4Speed Coroner

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2007
    Messages:
    2,870
    Likes Received:
    0
    *Ryan, Calleigh and Eric were sining a song*
    Ryan:something strange
    Calleigh:in the neighborhood
    Eric:who ya gonna call?
    All 3:GHOSTBUSTERS!!!!
    *H burst in the room*
    H:NO! you call me idiots!
    Ryan, Calleigh and Eric: :rolleyes:
     
  10. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOL

    silly.


    Ryan: What's under there?
    Eric: Nothing.

    Ryan: (to Calliegh) What's under there?
    Calliegh: :rolleyes:


    Ryan: H, what's under there?
    H: You're fired for trying to make us say underwear!
    Ryan: :( You guys Suck!! (runs away crying)
     
  11. Sweet_Fantasy

    Sweet_Fantasy Hit and Run

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oooh! I think I have a good one! lol...

    (very random)

    The CSI team is in the breakroom, minus H..

    Ryan: Ugh! Where are all the swabs? I need them to process my evidence!

    Alexx: Did you see if there where any more in the supply closet?

    Ryan: Yes! I've looked everywhere! It's like they fell off the face of the earth!

    Calleigh: Haven't you heard? H had a tragic accident with the sunnies, he's been working on those things for hours! Follow me, I'll show you...

    *Everyone follows behind Calleigh as she leads them to the DNA lab, where horatio is hard at work, with his hair all messed up and a crazed look on his face just like a mad scientist...*

    H: Behold! My babies! They're back! *Holds up pair of sunnies constructed from the swabs*

    Ryan: Oh, that's where they went...

    Everyone: :confused:
     
  12. Leftyguitar

    Leftyguitar Police Officer

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2006
    Messages:
    471
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ryan: Hey H, what's the deal with those sunnies.
    H: They're bullet proof. I wear them all the time because for some reason criminal in the city wants me dead.
    Ryan: I coulda used those when that crazy lady shot me with a nail gun.Can I have a pair like that for Christmas?
    H: No. :p
    Ryan: :(
     
  13. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2007
    Messages:
    557
    Likes Received:
    0
    This was funny with a few friends

    Terminator accent.
    H:I will *puts on sunnies* be back

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
    team: :rolleyes:
     
  14. calleighandjake

    calleighandjake Hit and Run

    Joined:
    May 17, 2007
    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey, guys I just thought of this one. This would never happen because Eric is too damn nice.

    Eric: Jake, I think you are and ass and your gonna break Calleigh's heart.
    Jake: :eek:
     
  15. future_cop

    future_cop Lab Technician

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2007
    Messages:
    557
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just thought of this one with my friend

    Eric:H what do you want with your lunch?
    H:I Want *puts on sunnies* a Twinkie.
    Eric: :rolleyes:
    YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     

Share This Page