CSI:Miami - "Road Trip *puts on shades* Number Nine."

Thanks for the review!

********************

Africa, trail

Horatio: *trips* AH! STUPID ROCK! *takes out gun*

Colton: *grabs gun* Whoa, geez. Just because you lost your stupid superpowers doesn't mean you have to shoot an innocent rock.

Horatio: It isn't alive.

Colton: Neither are dead people and you don't go around shooting them do you?

Horatio: I only shoot live people.

Colton: Don't shoot the rock.

Katie: *kicks twigs* So when we get back to the hut, can we get some new mosquito nets? I'm tired of scratching and I think I might have some disease.

Colton: Believe me, you didn't get any disease from a bug.

Katie: *frown* Who are you, Speed?

Colton: I have all the superpowers. I can say what I want.

Katie: Well you don't have to be a jerk about it.

Anni: *sits near tree* Okay it's too hot for me.

Katie: *squints*

Anni: Would you stop it? I'm not 'with child'.

Katie: I didn't say anything.

Anni: You didn't have to.

Katie: WELL YOU NEVER KNOW.

Anni: I WOULD KNOW.

Colton: Girls, girls, let's kiss and makeup.

Delko: *raises hand* I VOTE FOR THAT!

Katie/Anni: *frown*

Colton: Fine, nevermind. Don't humor me.

Ryan: Anyone know where the hut is? *turns around*

Colton: Of course not. That's why this is A ROAD TRIP.

Ryan: Yeah but did anyone bring the map?

Everyone: ...

Horatio: WE'RE GONNA DIE! AHHHH!

Delko: Oh my God, Horatio's turned into me.

Horatio: *hugs Eric* Protect me.

Delko: I'll try but I can guarantee you, you'll all die first.

Anni: How do you figure?

Delko: I'm the blackest one here. I'm used to the sun.

Heather: Eric, there are white people in Africa and your skin color has nothing to do with it.

Lilly: Yeah besides we live in Miami. The land of perpetual sun.

Delko: STOP MAKING ME LOOK STUPID!

Colton: You take care of that all on your own Eric.

Delko: STOP BEING SPEED!

Colton: I'm not! He's an idiot and a man whore. I on the other hand am a feisty wolf.

Ryan: I thought I was Wolfe.

Colton: *rolls eyes*

Miami--House

Lori: *walks in* Hey, since when do you leave the door unlocked?

Gavin: *putting gun together* Sorry.

Lori: What are you doin'? There's like 50 guns in here.

Gavin: I have a plane to catch tomorrow so I need to get everything secure.

Lori: Why did you bring your guns to Miami?

Gavin: *smiles* Would you leave your children home alone?

Lori: *smirks* Depends how annoying they are.

Gavin: *laughs*

Lori: Ni-ice gun. *walks over*

Gavin: .45, best there is.

Lori: Sexy.

Gavin: *looks at Lori*

Lori: In general.

Gavin: We're still married you know.

Lori: I know. I don't want to seem gawky.

Gavin: You still did.

Lori: Thanks.

Speed: *walks in* Lori, I brought your groceries over.

Lori: *turns around* Oh. Great, thanks.

Gavin: *looks at Speed*

Speed: *looks at Gavin*

Gavin: *frowns*

Speed: *walks over* So Lori, you know where all of it goes?

Lori: Mhm.

Speed: *staring at Gavin* Good.

Gavin: *putting gun together, staring at Speed*

Lori: Uh...Okay. I'll go get the groceries. *leaves*

Speed: That's a lot of arsenal for someone on the bomb squad.

Gavin: Texas thinks a bit bigger than Florida does.

Speed: I've heard.

Gavin: You still solvin' crimes one microbe at a time?

Speed: *eye twitches* Yeah.

Gavin: Good, keep up the good work. I'm sure when an actual bad guy lands under the scope, you'll know where to find 'em.

Speed: *frowns*

Lori: *walks in* How come I have so much canned stuff? ...What, are we having a stare-off?

Gavin: No. *slams gun into bag*

Lori: *looks at Speed*

Speed: I'll see you later. *leaves, slams door*

Lori: Uh...Okay, I leave for five minutes and the silent hell breaks loose. What was that about?

Gavin: Nothin'.

Lori: You sure?

Gavin: *laughs* It's nothing okay? Stop worrying about everything.

Lori: I wasn't worried.

Gavin: Well you seem to really try and get yourself into situations where you needn't be.

Lori: *places hands on hips* Excuse me?

Gavin: Nothing, nevermind.

Lori: *frowns* Hey I have a question. What does a bomb squad guy need with dozens of guns?

Gavin: Wow y'all really do think alike. Look, these are my personal guns, I've had 'em for a long time. I bring them with me because people like to steal things. If I could find a way for people with grabby hands to just not want to steal my crap, I would.

Lori: I'm not comfortable with this many in my house.

Gavin: They're all on safety.

Lori: I know they are. Frankly I'm not worried about the guns themselves.

Gavin: I'm not going to shoot you, Lori.

Lori: I've seen two kinds of anger. Flat out bottle-breakin' door slammin' screamin' hell. And silent, building, imploding, anger. Which you've had since day one. I'm surprised you haven't lost your temper with me yet, seeing as I'm so irritating.

Gavin: So I came all the way down here to discuss an issue that isn't a problem. Great, just the quality time I want to spend with you.

Lori: This isn't a joke.

Gavin: Look, I don't like your family and your family doesn't like me. The fact that we don't like each other openly doesn't mean there's some big god damn problem.

Lori: *rubs eyes* Okay. I'm sorry.

Gavin: *closes bag*

Lori: I know you're not a violent guy. I mean if you were, I'd be one messed up kidnapee.

Gavin: *looks at Lori*

Lori: Alright, not the best thing to bring up but still.

Gavin: I'll put the guns in my car. *grabs bag*

Lori: Thank you.

Africa--Hut

Katie: Anyone have any more toothpaste? I have bug bites everywhere.

Anni: You used all of mine. Now I can't brush my teeth.

Colton: We should have packed a whole bunch of those travel packs.

Anni: Yeah no kidding. How does Katie get all the bites and we have none?

Colton: A lot of bugs are attracted to carbon dioxide. She does talk a lot.

Katie: *throws pillow*

Colton: *laughs*

Horatio: Okay gang, I'm going to soak my feet in the next hut and I don't want to be disturbed. If I see any fires or smell any toxic chemicals, I expect everyone to evacuate.

Colton: And then disturb you?

Horatio: No. You're the new leader, remember?

Colton: Darn.

Horatio: *leaves*

Delko: This is fun. It'll be like a sleepover 'cause Horatio isn't here.

Katie: Your hut isn't here.

Delko: But...I thought we were friends.

Katie: You don't share a hut with us.

Delko: Fine, I'll go find my hut. *walks to door* ...Can someone help me find my hut?

Anni: Ugh, I'll help you. It's probably with everyone else. *leaves*

Delko: *leaves*

Katie: When do YOU get to leave.

Colton: No deal, I get to stay here.

Katie: What? Why!

Colton: You have the only toothpaste.

Katie: *frowns* Ha ha, I'm laughing a river on the inside.

Colton: *smiles*

Katie: *sigh* You're a jerk.

Colton: I know.

Katie: *stares at Colton*

Colton: *stares at Katie*

Katie: SO! You get to sleep on the floor while Anni and I get to be comfy in our beds.

Colton: What, you can't share a bed?

Katie: NO!

Colton: I meant with Anni. You two are best friends.

Katie: Fine, but Anni gets to sleep at the foot of the bed like a dog. I like to take up all the room.

Colton: Deal.

Anni: *walks in* Okay Eric's all settled in. So how do we divide everything up? Colton and Katie each sit on separate sides of the hut?

Katie: No we already made a deal. You get to sleep at the foot of my bed and he gets the other one.

Anni: But I claimed the other bed.

Colton: Too bad, I'm the leader and I'm not sleeping on the floor.

Anni: Oh well. It'll be like a slumber party. OH KATIE WE SHOULD HAVE HOT CHOCOLATE!

Katie: It's a hundred degrees outside.

Anni: So? It's all about the mood.

Katie: *dabs forehead* Yes well I'm sweaty enough as it is, I don't need hot chocolate added to the mix.

Anni: I promise I won't burn you this time.

Katie: Anni, you burn me EVERY time.

Colton: Okay girls, why don't we just stop talking.

Anni: Um you're not the actual leader. Horatio just THINKS he has no control over us but he really does.

Colton: Yes but he doesn't know that.

Katie: You're still not in charge.

Colton: I got you to make a deal, right?

Katie: Yeah but that was because I didn't want to sleep in a bed with YOU.

Anni: Actually I'd like my own bed.

Colton: I'm sleeping on the floor.

Katie: Good.

Colton: Good.

Anni: Ooooh.

Colton/Katie: *look at Anni*

Anni: What?

TBC..................

 

^ I do like to keep you guys freeked out. :devil:

Colton! You are THE man, heh. And you're not far off in your view of the Katie/Colton duo.

Thanks so much for the reviews everyone, they are as always, very much appreciated!

****************

Africa, hut, 10pm

Katie: *throws blanket* It's too hot in here!

Anni: *sits up, turns on light* What is your problem? You've been tossing and turning for an hour.

Katie: Okay I'm sick of this continent. It's hot, it's humid, there are bugs, there's no plumbing and I didn't sign up for Survivor. TAKE ME HOME.

Anni: Sorry hun, you have to rough it out here until we get back to Miami.

Katie: *starts to cry*

Colton: *sits up* She is so tempermental.

Anni: Nah, the heat's just getting to her.

Katie: I WANNA GO HOME! *hugs Anni*

Anni: Aww you poor thing.

Colton: *rolls eyes* I'm going for a walk. *stands, leaves*

Katie: *lets go* Wait, where's he going? He has to protect us girls.

Anni: Um I think we could take any intruders on.

Katie: What if it was a lion?

Anni: Okay maybe not but it's not liked he'd do any better.

Katie: *tilts head* Still, strength in numbers.

Next hut

Delko: *smashing rocks together*

Ryan: *sits up* What are you doing?

Delko: I'm trying to start a fire.

Ryan: In the hut?

Delko: Mhm.

Ryan: *rubs eyes* It's a hundred degrees in here.

Delko: I'm hungry.

Ryan: So...You're sending a smoke signal to McDonalds.

Delko: I can do that?

Ryan: No.

Delko: Well I wanted to cook something.

Ryan: At 10 pm?

Delko: I get hunger pangs really late.

Ryan: So chew some gum and put out that fire.

Delko: Fine. *grabs bucket of water*

Ryan: No! Don't use water you idiot, use sand.

Delko: What? Why?

Ryan: You're going to smoke us to death. Do you not know how to do ANYTHING?

Delko: Oh yes and you know so much about being in Africa.

Ryan: I know a lot about the country Togo.

Delko: *mumbles* I bet.

Ryan: *frowns* How did we end up in the same hut.

Delko: We pulled names out of a hat.

Ryan: I swear it was rigged.

Hut 3

Horatio: *rocking back and forth* We don't get fooled again, we don't get fooled again, we don't get fooled again, we don't get fooled again....

Lilly: *sits up* Okay that's creepy.

Lora: Horatio are you alright?

Horatio: *rocking back and forth* We don't get fooled again, we don't get fooled again, we don't get fooled again...

Lora: I think he's having a psychotic breakdown.

Lilly: Should we do something?

Lora: *hugs Horatio*

Lilly: Mhm, you sure solved it.

Horatio: *making motions of putting on shades*

Lilly: Maybe we should call someone.

Lora: DR.PHIL! *grabs cellphone*

Lilly: *grabs phone* We are not calling Dr.Phil.

Lora: But he's very good at what he does.

Lilly: So is Horatio, we just have to make him realize it.

Heather: *crawls out from under bed* Are you too seriously still talking? Shut up already.

Lilly: Come help us find a way to make Horatio sane.

Heather: I think he jumped off the sanity pier a while ago. I mean, the guy wears black. In Miami. Who does he think he is? Johnny Cash?

Lora: Johnny Cash with a gun.

Horatio: *rocking side to side* Hang in there. Hang in there. Hang in there.

Lora: Okay we need to do something.

Hut 1--one hour later

Katie: Colton's been gone for a long time.

Anni: *looks at watch* It's only been an hour.

Katie: Yeah but what if something happened?

Anni: *smiles* Oh.

Katie: Oh what.

Anni: Aw it's cute, you're all worried about him.

Katie: *frowns* I worry about everything.

Anni: No no, you only think about yourself.

Katie: So? I'm turning over a new leaf.

Anni: You like Colton.

Katie: I hate Colton. He's the anti-christ.

Anni: *laughs* C'mon Katie, you have the hots for him. I don't blame you, he's a stud.

Katie: Can you shut up?

Anni: *smiling*

Katie: *rolls eyes*

Anni: So how long have you had a crush on the guy?

Katie: I beg your pardon.

Anni: Oh don't look all shocked.

Katie: Look, he's been gone for over an hour in a strange country, we need to find him.

Anni: Okay so let's go find him.

Katie: Alone? There are wild animals out there.

Anni: I don't want to wake everyone up.

Katie: ANNI WHAT IF HE'S IN TROUBLE!

Anni: *grins*

Katie: Ugh, you're such a dork.

Miami Lab

Lori: *places objects into box*

Calleigh: So are you ready to head home?

Lori: Mhm. Long day.

Calleigh: *smiles* Okay I'll see you tomorrow.

Lori: *nods*

Calleigh: *leaves*

Lori: *grabs lid for box*

Knock on door frame is heard

Lori: *spins around* Oh geez. Don't sneak up on people.

Gavin: My flight leaves in two hours so I figured I'd stop by on my way to the airport.

Lori: *smirks* That was nice of you.

Gavin: *walks over* So you finishin' up here?

Lori: Yup.

Gavin: You sure seem to have bought into this 'CSI' thing.

Lori: I do what needs to be done and then I go home. It's not a huge deal. Besides, you're a cop too.

Gavin: *sits on desk* You ever get this...Conflict in your head? You know, between bein' a cop and well...Someone less law abiding.

Lori: Uh...I don't really know what you mean.

Gavin: *smiles* Nevermind then, it's not really important.

Lori: *nods slowly*

Gavin: *swings door shut* It's funny, actually.

Lori: What.

Gavin: You not knowing what I meant.

Lori: *lifts brow* Excuse me?

Gavin: You read people for a living. You profiled criminals in Colombia, right?

Lori: *crosses arms* Reading up on me?

Gavin: So you would theoretically know what's wrong with someone depending on what they said or did.

Lori: Yes..I-I guess.

Gavin: *scratches head*

Lori: ...Why don't you give me your gun.

Gavin: *looks at Lori*

Lori: If you didn't want my help, I'd already be on the floor. Wouldn't I.

Gavin: *hands over gun*

Lori: *places gun in drawer* There's been something wrong with you since I met you. And definitely before.

Gavin: Is that your professional opinion?

Lori: *stares at Gavin*

Gavin: *sigh* I'm sorry.

Lori: Have you hurt anyone?

Gavin: *looks down at floor*

Lori: Great.

Gavin: I never wanted to hurt anyone, Lori. *closes eyes* But i-it makes them stop.

Lori: Makes what stop?

Gavin: ...

Lori: Gavin.

Gavin: *blinks*

Lori: Listen to my voice. Gavin, look at me.

Gavin: *rubs forehead*

Lori: *takes cellphone out of pocket*

Gavin: *grabs Lori's neck*

Lori: *drops phone, gasps*

Gavin: *stands*

Lori: *wide-eyed, kicking*

Gavin: I have to make it stop.

Lori: *reaching for drawer*

Gavin: *frowns, shoves Lori into wall*

Lori: Ugh! *falls over*

Gavin: *opens drawer*

Lori: *stands*

Gavin: *grabs gun*

Lori: *lifts hands* Whoa, whoa. Look, you came here for help right? Let me help you. Put the gun down. We both know if you kill me, whatever you're hearing won't stop. You've been able to fight this for a long time, I'm askin' you to try just a little longer. Think back to before, you know there's something wrong, it means you can be helped.

Gavin: *nods*

Lori: Okay?

Gavin: Okay.

Lori: Good, just hand me the gun.

Gavin: *stares at Lori*

Lori: Gavin?

Gavin: I'm sorry. *points gun to head*

BAM

TBC....................

 

:lol: Colton, you are so awesome.

Anni! *huggles* Totally with you on not really knowing anyone--especially the ones you trust the most. :devil:

****************

Africa, 9am

Colton: *walks into hut*

Katie: WHERE WERE YOU! I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WAITING FOR YOU! ANNI WOULDN'T LET ME LOOK FOR YOU! *points to Anni*

Anni: *chewing bacon*

Colton: Uh...Okay.

Katie: *hugs Colton*

Colton: *looks at Anni*

Anni: Don't mind her, she has the hots for you.

Colton: *pushes Katie* No she doesn't.

Katie: No I don't.

Anni: *rolls eyes* Yeah make me seem like the stupid one.

Horatio: *walks in* Colton? I was um...I was wondering if we were going to head out soon.

Colton: Why are you asking me?

Horatio: *kneels* You have the shades.

Colton: Stop kneeling.

Horatio: I can't help it. I have bad knees.

Delko: *runs in* I WANT KIDS.

Anni: You have kids.

Delko: ...

Everyone: *staring at Eric*

Delko: *leaves*

Horatio: I could go for some kids.

Katie: STOP TALKING ABOUT KIDS. NO ONE GETS KIDS.

Anni: Says the woman who's had a million.

Katie: *frowns* Colton, make her shut up.

Colton: *opens mouth*

Anni: Don't you tell me what to do.

Colton: *closes mouth*

Delko: *runs in* Anyone seen my underwear? I left them on a wire outside and now they're gone.

Everyone: *looks at Eric*

Delko: *leaves*

Horatio: *starts to cry*

Everyone: *looks at Horatio*

Horatio: I want my shades back. *crying*

Colton: Why don't we go to the restaurant down the road for some breakfast.

Katie: I CALL SITTING WITH COLTON!

Colton: *frowns* I don't want to sit with you.

Katie: *lip curls*

Colton: Ugh fine.

Restaurant

Lilly: I didn't know they served pancakes here.

Lora: We're in the rich part of the neighborhood.

Ryan: Um so how come we had to sleep in huts? There's a Holiday Inn down the street.

Lora: Because we were roughing it.

Ryan: Eric certainly was. The guy almost started a hut fire.

Delko: I'm not that bad with fire.

Anni: Eric, don't even get us started with that.

Delko: Hey if I didn't know how to start a fire, we might die someday.

Anni: We're all going to die someday.

Delko: I meant early.

Anni: Some people die early.

Delko: STOP RUINING IT!

Horatio: *covering ears* Make them stop fighting.

Colton: *eats food*

Katie: *staring at Colton*

Colton: *looks at Katie*

Katie: *smiles*

Colton: *frowns*

Katie: *sigh*

Colton: Katie, we hate each other.

Katie: I know.

Colton: Go chase after Speed and leave me alone.

Katie: Baby he has nothin' on you.

Colton: *stares blankly*

Anni: Told you.

Colton: HORATIO! MAKE HER STOP! *throws shades*

Horatio: Can't.

Colton: Why!

Horatio: There's no lenses in there. *sips coffee*

Miami Lab---2pm

Lori: *reading folder*

Stetler: *walks over* You're not supposed to be here.

Lori: *flips page*

Stetler: Did you hear me?

Lori: Perfectly.

Stetler: Go home.

Lori: Can't. I need to make a livin'.

Stetler: Yes well write a country song from it. Right now it's lab policy that you head home.

Lori: Wow. You're real big on lab policy.

Stetler: The last person who talked back to me ended up with a pink slip.

Lori: *lifts head* I thought Horatio still worked here.

Stetler: Miss Henderson, go home.

Lori: *smirks* I will go home when I'm finished.

Stetler: You're finished. *grabs folder*

Lori: *stares at Stetler*

Stetler: Now move it or I'll personally remove you.

Lori: *leans against window* Go for it.

Stetler: Little girl don't test my patience.

Lori: *crosses arms*

Stetler: *grabs Lori's shoulder*

Lori: *grabs Stetler's wrist, shoves him against window*

Stetler: Ah! AH!

People look over

Lori: I could break your little neck if I wanted to.

Speed: *walks over* You won't. Get out.

Lori: *looks at Speed*

Speed: Get out.

Lori: *lets go, leaves*

Stetler: *turns around* She's FIRED! You hear that? YOU'RE FIRED! You're lucky I don't charge you! No wonder her husband killed himself.

Speed: You want me to finish the ass-kicking for her?

Stetler: *looks at Speed*

Speed: Just curious.

Stetler: *walks away*

Speed: *leaves*

Outside

Lori: *opens car door*

Speed: *walks over*

Lori: Don't.

Speed: *slams car door* Don't worry, I'm not here to hug you and hold your hand. We get it, you're going through a rough patch but it would be beneficial for you to take care of it off the clock. So don't come back for two weeks.

Lori: Two weeks. And then what? I come back to work a ray of sunshine?

Speed: No. You come back cooled off and not ready to break anyone's neck.

Lori: *nods* Fine. I'm sorry.

Speed: *opens car door* Let's just hope you still have a job in two weeks.

Lori: *gets into car*

TBC..................

 

Heh, see what happens when you don't read? Kidding of course. RL hacks its way into everyone's lives and if it's not RL it's just lack of interest really, lol. There are some times I look at this thread and go "Ugh let it finish already."

But I can't! I'm anal and I need 10 threads. :lol:

******************

Africa, middle of field

Colton: Eric what are you doing?

Delko: Making a new Hummerhome.

Colton: Out of twigs?

Delko: Shh. I'm trying to make this work. *grabs glue and gum from pockets* I need a Hummerhome, I'm sick of huts.

Anni: Where did you get glue?

Delko: *looks at Anni* My pocket.

Anni: *lifts brow*

Delko: Duh. *goes back to work*

Colton: Stop, please. You're embarassing us. I think those hippos down there are laughing.

Delko: OH MY GOD THERE ARE HIPPOS?! *hugs Colton* THEY EAT MEAT! I'M MADE OF MEAT!

Heather: Okay so how is this 'Hummerhome' supposed to run if there's no engine?

Delko: We'll pedal.

Heather: With what?

Delko: *rolls eyes* Pedals. Work with me people.

Anni: Won't this blow over on the highway?

Delko: No, it's going to be held together with gum and glue. You ever notice those are the only two things that ever survive tornadoes?

Colton: Um yeah besides people, sure.

Delko: *shrugs* I've never been in a tornado.

Lilly: I don't think I've ever seen glue or gum anywhere after a tornado. I see a lot of overturned cars though.

Lora: Yeah that and fat people wearing moo moos.

Ryan: Don't forget little kids and their teddies.

Delko: STOP! I don't want to know about the little kids and their teddies. It makes me cry.

Anni: I see a lot of toilets too. Just sitting there all lonely.

Delko: Don't. I'm already choked up enough as it is.

Twig snaps

Delko: DAMNIT! *sigh* This is impossible.

Horatio: See this is why we should be building my Hummerail.

Colton: No one wants a Hummerail.

Horatio: Yes sir.

Colton: STOP IT. You're in charge. You wear the badge, you shop at an evil version of Wal-Mart that only sells black and your bright hair reminds small children of Ronald McDonald which seems to soothe them. So stop acting like an idiot and be in charge. You're frickin' Horatio Caine.

Horatio: ....I remind small children of Ronald McDonald?

Delko: A lot of people sure think you're a clown.

Horatio: *frowns*

Delko: AH! HE HAS POWER AGAIN! *hugs Colton*

Horatio: *puts on shades* Damn straight. *walks away*

Ryan: Just once I'd like to see him say that at a crime scene.

Delko: Definitely.

Miami Lab, Ballistics

Calleigh: *looking through microscope*

Stetler: *walks in* Detective.

Calleigh: *lifts head* Agent Stetler.

Stetler: You've been left in charge, correct?

Calleigh: So Horatio tells me.

Stetler: So there's a reason why Speedle isn't in charge despite his rank over you.

Calleigh: Horatio felt I could handle the job. Besides, rank doesn't affect anything. We're both capable.

Stetler: But there is a reason.

Calleigh: That is the reason.

Stetler: See I think it's because the man's a short circuit ready to spark into flames. And his daughter is the same way. I don't want both of them in my lab.

Calleigh: With all due respect, it's not your lab. This lab belongs to the victims and their families.

Stetler: I was threatened with an 'ass-kicking' as he so eloquently put it. Do you believe this is the professional way to regard those higher up in ranks?

Calleigh: No I don't.

Stetler: By the way, I think you would agree that office relationships aren't very professional either.

Calleigh: *stares at Stetler*

Stetler: Seems this lab has a management problem. I'm sure the victims and their families appreciate the level of idiocy at work.

Calleigh: I don't know what you mean.

Stetler: Eric Delko. Loose lips around these parts, which evidently is another problem. IAB's takin' a harder look at this lab and things just keep poppin' up.

Calleigh: What do you want.

Stetler: I'm placing Speedle on suspension for review and you're going to cooperate by providing your signature.

Calleigh: And if I don't?

Stetler: If you don't, your career has been very short-lived. You and Delko can live out your days on welfare.

Calleigh: Then so be it because I'm not helping you ruin someone else's career.

Stetler: I'm going to sift through every problem here and pretty soon the loss of your job is going to be the least of your problems. Think about it. *leaves*

Calleigh: *takes out cellphone*

Trace Lab

Stetler: *walks in*

Speed: *pulls paper out of printer*

Stetler: Important case?

Speed: They're all important.

Stetler I bet. So, no hard feelings about that little threat earlier. We're all human, tempers flare especially when it involves the people we love.

Speed: *nods*

Stetler: So let's just have talk. You know, as guys. Just shootin' the breeze.

Speed: *typing*

Stetler: That Calleigh Duquesne's quite the pistol huh.

Speed: She's good at her job.

Stetler: I know how tightly-knit you CSIs are with each other. Especially her and Eric Delko. I think there might be something going on between them.

Speed: So your job is to follow gossip now. That's super detective work.

Stetler: *laughs* Come on, you don't think there's anything going on between them?

Speed: What's this about?

Stetler: Well I hear Miss Duquesne is going to sign off on your suspension.

Speed: Suspension?

Stetler: Must have been hard, her being placed in charge over you. She holds all the cards and doesn't need an excuse to deal them.

Speed: She's a very capable woman.

Stetler: Yes, a woman who's going to put your career on the chopping block. Women can be so bitter when they think a man wants their job.

Speed: I don't want her job.

Stetler: Mhm. Besides, she doesn't think you'd make a very good leader anyway. I must say, she has a LOT of dirt on you. But you can get to her first, all you need to do is tell me the truth. Y'know, about her and Delko.

Speed: She doesn't talk about her personal life with me.

Stelter: Oh come on. The best friend between the two? You would be quite the buffer.

Speed: It's none of my business if she's screwing around with Delko.

Stetler: Is that anger I detect? Maybe jelously?

Speed: I have a lot of work to get back to, if you wouldn't mind.

Stetler: Okay. It would just be a shame if you couldn't support that 'other' woman because you lost your job. Katie? I think her name is? Keeping quiet about an office relationship is one thing but dippin' into the county funds to support an ex-wife is quite another.

Speed: *lifts head*

Stetler: Even more of an excuse for Calleigh to get you out of the professional picture. I wonder if she has any free time to chat.

Speed: Wait.

Stetler: *turns around*

Speed: ...Calleigh and Eric are seeing each other.

Stetler: See? Now that wasn't so hard. *leaves*

Hallway, two hours later

Calleigh: *walks over* Tim.

Speed: *walking* Yeah.

Calleigh: *glaring* Thanks, I just got canned by Stetler. Three week suspension pending an investigation. I can't believe you told him about Eric and I.

Speed: Really because I heard you're opting for my suspension. I was just put on notice. But hey, at least for your last stint as boss, you can be as bitter as you want.

Calleigh: *stops walking* What?

Speed: I don't want your job.

Calleigh: *lifts brow* Tim, I never placed you on notice.

Speed: *stares at Calleigh* What are you talking about?

Calleigh: Stetler came in and talked to me about signing your suspension papers based on something about you being unprofessional. I didn't agree to anything.

Speed: *scoffs* Great.

Calleigh: What?

Speed: I'm guessing you refused to talk about your relationship with Eric so he slapped you with a way to get me fired.

Calleigh: Yes and I didn't say a thing. He did the same thing to you, didn't he. Only you told him.

Speed: Yeah. B-

Calleigh: *laughs* Great, well I see how how loyal of a friend you are. You just couldn't wait to pull the plug on my career over something so stupid as Horatio's pick for a temporary boss. *leaves*

Speed: *covers eyes*

Africa

Horatio: Eric, please stop that.

Delko: I WANT THE HUMMERHOME BACK.

Horatio: You didn't even build anything that remotely looks like a Hummerhome.

Katie: It kind of looks like a tent though.

Lilly: Now you can built your fire, Eric.

Delko: Yeah well I'd like to see you guys make something better.

Anni: OH! IDEA! Let's all make stick things and have Horatio judge them. It'll be like a contest. Then the winner gets to pick where we go next.

Colton: Is it weird that I like that idea?

Heather: OH can we please? Can we?

Horatio: I suppose.

Delko: Wait, can I start mine over?

Horatio: *sigh* Yes Eric, you can start over.

Fifteen minutes later

Katie: I NEED MORE GLUE! I NEED MORE GLUE!

Anni: Can we use leaves? I need leaves.

Heather: RYAN! GET AWAY FROM MY TOWER OF PIZA!

Ryan: What?

Heather: Your big butt's in my way! You're ruining my masterpiece!

Ryan: So don't make something on a slant.

Heather: I'm trying to be creative and you're just being a jerk.

Ryan: Hey. I'm creative.

Heather: What the hell is that?

Ryan: I'm not finished so it's a surprise.

Heather: Is that what they call crap nowadays? 'Not finished'? I bet that's what Lindbergh said right after his blimp crashed. "It's er, not finished."

Ryan: Um mine's not going to kill anyone.

Delko: OW! OW! OW! MY EYE!

Ryan: *turns around* Oh my GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

Delko: I wanted to see the inside of whatever it is you're making and I poked my eye with a twig! Horatio! Disqualify him!

Horatio: Eric, keep your eyes on your own piece.

Delko: I can't because now I'm BLIND.

Ryan: Oh shut up.

Two hours later

Horatio: *sigh* Are you guys finished yet?

Katie: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Horatio: Too bad. Voting starts right now and I don't care if you're not finished. It's too damn hot out here to wait anymore.

Ryan: Haha, I would pay him so much to hear that at a crime scene.

Horatio: Ryan, what's your design?

Ryan: ...The Lindbergh blimp.

Horatio: ...Are you serious?

Ryan: I DIDN'T HAVE ANY IDEAS!

Horatio: *sigh* Katie, what did you build?

Katie: I built a blob of sticks and glue because you wouldn't let me finish.

Horatio: *rolls eyes* Okay so Heather what did you build?

Heather: The tower of Piza. Although mine's leaning all the way on the ground because someone knocked it over. *glares at Ryan*

Ryan: I can't help how big my butt is.

Lilly: ME NEXT ME NEXT!

Horatio: Okay go ahead Lilly.

Lilly: I built Snoopy's doghouse.

Horatio: It's very...Nice.

Lilly: Nice? I spent TWO HOURS on this. I would expect a little more encouragement than 'nice'. Shame on you.

Horatio: Eric, what did you build?

Delko: I built a raft so we can get out of this stupid continent.

Colton: Something tells me we didn't really put a lot of thought and seriousness into this.

Horatio: Agreed. Eric wins.

Delko: YES! TAKE THAT BIATCHES!

Katie: *frowns* What a bad winner.

Delko: We're going to Russia next.

Lora: YES! *hugs Eric* I could kiss you right now if it weren't for my crush on Horatio.

Delko: Aww.

Miami Lab

Stetler: *puts feet up on desk* Ah, the sound of success.

Yelina: *walks past, stops* ...Where's the staff?

Stetler: Suspension.

Yelina: ...All of them?

Stetler: Yep. I FINALLY DID IT! AND HORATIO CAN'T STOP ME BECAUSE HE'S NOT HERE!

Yelina: But...Who's going to solve the murders?

Stetler: Oh I can do that. Easy as pie.

Yelina: *crosses arms* Really.

Stetler: Mhm.

Yelina: So are you going to head out to the crime scenes and process them then come back to the lab and spend hours sorting through it?

Stetler: I can do it.

Yelina: Well I'd love to see it.

Stetler: Oh I bet you would.

Yelina: I'll pay you 30 dollars if you can get through one week.

Stetler: 30 dollars? That's a little cheap, even for you.

Yelina: Everytime you walk into the room, I get one dollar cheaper.

TBC.................

 

Thanks Anni.

Hehe.

******************

Miami Lab--Lobby, 2 days later

Valera: What do you mean I'm not authorized to be here?

Paula: *shrugs*

Labtech: We work here, you can't just not let us in!

Paula: I'm sorry, IAB's taken over the lab.

Valera: This doesn't make any sense.

Alexx: Honey calm down, I'm sure there's an explanation for this.

Valera: Well you weren't fired!

Alexx: I've been trying to get into the lab all morning.

Labtech2: I can't believe this. This is my career we're talking about and IAB's pulled the plug on it.

Valera: He can't just do this, right?

Alexx: I want to talk to Stetler.

Paula: Sorry, I'm under orders.

Alexx: Call Horatio Caine.

Paula: I've been instructed not to.

Alexx: Do you think that's normal?

Paula: It doesn't matter what I think. I'd like to keep my job.

Alexx: I understand but these people have lost their jobs based on nothing.

Calleigh: *walks out of elevator* Whoa. We're havin' a convention?

Alexx: *turns around* Do not tell me Stetler got to you too.

Calleigh: Unfortunately.

Alexx: Any idea why?

Calleigh: Some childish vendetta against the lab? I don't know, to suspend everyone seems a little excessive. I actually came down here to see if Tim was here.

Alexx: I haven't seen him.

Calleigh: *sigh* Has anyone called Horatio?

Alexx: Not yet. I'm guessing he won't be too happy when he finds out.

Calleigh: I tried callin' him a couple of days ago but Colton answered his cell.

Elevator doors open

Everyone: *looks at elevator*

Horatio: *looks around*

Valera: Lieutenant, we need to speak to you.

Horatio: *walks over*

Calleigh: Speak of the devil. You just fly in?

Horatio: Where's Stetler.

Calleigh: Probably in your office.

Horatio: *takes off shades* Excuse me. *walks away*

Valera: He reminds me of Han Solo.

Everyone: *looks at Valera*

Valera: What? You guys knew I was a geek when I was hired.

Office

Horatio: *knocks on door*

Stetler: *opens door*

Horatio: Mornin' Rick.

Stetler: *rolls eyes* Who called you.

Horatio: *places hands on hips* You have about three seconds to explain why my lab is empty.

Stetler: This lab is full of corruption. I'm cutting it off at the head.

Horatio: By suspending everyone.

Stetler: Don't worry, I'm in the process of re-hiring.

Horatio: Why don't you tell me what exactly you mean by 'corruption'.

Stetler: Office relationships, money laundering, CSIs workin' cases where they're a little too involved if you know what I mean and don't even get me started on hiring criminals.

Horatio: Okay, I understand. Unfortunately for this lab, you're not doing this out of the goodness of your heart. It may be seen as a conflict of interest on your part.

Stetler: What are you talking about?

Horatio: The Brass knows you've been itching to get under our skin and finding wild excuses to do so. So, even if whatever it is you've discovered is well-founded, there's a slim chance you'll be believed.

Stetler: You're not denying any of my findings?

Horatio: No. I'm just giving you a heads up.

Stetler: *laughs* Out of the goodness of your heart I suppose. You have no idea the kind of evidence I've obtained. *walks into office*

Horatio: *follows*

Stetler: *hands over paper* Transfers were made from county funds directly into one of your CSI's accounts. Over 20 000 dollars have been stolen. Last I checked, that could earn said CSI up to 15 years in prison. *throws tape recorder onto desk* Verbal admission to knowing about a relationship between two staff members. Which leads those two staff members to automatic suspension. I might not be a CSI but I still know how to obtain physical evidence. This isn't based on revenge.

Horatio: Rick, I'll take care of this.

Stetler: Obviously you won't or none of this would have happened in the first place. I'm tired of cleaning up your messes Horatio. I'm not quite sure why they thought you'd make a good replacement for Megan Donner. At least she checked up on her staff.

Horatio: *crosses arms* I will talk to those involved.

Stetler: Horatio, they're not getting out of this without reprecussions.

Horatio: I agree. And I'll take care of it.

Stetler: You're not gettin' this, are you?

Horatio: I understand the situation perfectly. Now, go down to the lobby and tell those not involved that they're to go back to work. Unless you'd prefer the proverbial and literal bodies to pile up. *leaves*

Stetler: *frowns*

Atrium, one hour later

Calleigh: *walks over*

Speed: You were called too?

Calleigh: Yeah. Horatio said he wanted to talk.

Horatio: *walks over* That's right. Okay, I spoke to Stetler and I have to admit he has some pretty convincing evidence.

Calleigh: You know he's just doing this because he can.

Horatio: Mhm so don't worry about it. I'm not concerned about you and Eric. *looks at Speed*

Speed: *places hands in pockets*

Calleigh: What?

Horatio: Calleigh give us a minute.

Calleigh: ...Um, okay. Sure. *leaves*

Horatio: We have a problem.

Speed: Yeah.

Horatio: You're married so you're no longer paying alamony. So I'm wondering why you're still supporting Katie.

Speed: *frowns*

Horatio: Did she ask you for money?

Speed: No.

Horatio: Do you owe her money?

Speed: ...No.

Horatio: Then help me understand.

Speed: *shakes head*

Horatio: Okay, you had your chance. I need your gun and badge.

Speed: *stares at Horatio*

Horatio: Permenantly.

Speed: *nods*

Horatio: You'll be notified if any charges will be laid.

Speed: Right. I guess I'm gone then. *walks away*

Horatio: *puts on shades, leaves*

TBC................