~Quotes You WON'T Hear #2~

Discussion in 'CSI: Miami' started by ThumpyG42, May 12, 2006.

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  1. xxcalleighxx

    xxcalleighxx Dead on Arrival

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    lol!

    horatio: *puts on sunnies* and why do you think my siunnies are bad miss duquesne?
    Calleigh: becuase you wear them all the time
    Horatio: no i dont
    Calleigh: um you do
    Horatio i dont when your sleeping with me!
    Eric: omh cal! you slut your seeing horatio as well as me
    Ryan: what! you cheated on me with eric and H?
    Nat: you were cheating on me with cal?
    Yelina: ok *walks away slowly

    *massive b fight between h, cal, nat, eric and ryan*
     
  2. MacsGirlMel

    MacsGirlMel Mac's Personal Assistant

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    *the gang is in a club*

    Calleigh: Please tell me that's not what it looks like
    Ryan: I'm gonna be sick...
    Eric: I just lost my appetite
    Horatio: So that's what...Stetler..does in...his spare time...
    Eric: Put it on!
    Stetler: Hey! You'll pay for that!
     
  3. patluver144

    patluver144 Police Officer

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    Calleigh walks into the lounge all messy and tired.

    Speed:(literally) Did the cat drag ya in?
    Calleigh: Shut it!
    Eric: Whoa! What happened?
    Calleigh: Don't ask
    She nearly falls over trying to sit down in a chair.
    Eric: Need a boost?
    Calleigh: What you got?
    Speed: 3 days old poptarts, so cold coffee and Coco Puffs
    Calleigh: Great.....I'll take the Coco Puffs
    Suddenly she's bouncing off the walls after one bowl of cereal!
    Calleigh: I'm COCO FOR COCO PUFFS!
    Eric: Oh God!
    Speed: Never feed Calleigh sugar trust me!
     
  4. xxcalleighxx

    xxcalleighxx Dead on Arrival

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    thats what happens when you give me coco paps :L

    but anyway!

    *banging noise in the autopsy theatre*
    (alexx walks ove rho the coolers

    *five doors open and horatio, calleigh, ryan, eric and yelina all jump out

    together: surprise!!
     
  5. patluver144

    patluver144 Police Officer

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    Eric walks into the lab wearing a long black coat and black boots.

    Ryan: Halloween's over buddy!
    Eric gives him a lookand wips out a gun
    Eric: Say hello to my little friend!
    Calleigh walks over frightened.
    Calleigh: Calm down Eric it was only a joke!
    Eric: No really say hello to my little friend!
    He drops the gun and opens his coat and a little man walks out!
     
  6. Need4Speed

    Need4Speed Coroner

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    HAHA!!! that's a funny one!!!


    H:*arms spead wide* I"M THE KING OF MIAMI!!!!!!!!
    Ryan:someone has been watching Titanic too much.
    Calleigh:you can say that again!!


    *Eric and Ryan are reviewing some video for evidence*
    Ryan:wow!! where'd they learn to do that!!!
    Eric:i know that's incredible how do they bend like that!!
    *Calleigh walks in*
    Calleigh:you guys are sick!!
    Ryan:what! they're only doing yoga.
     
  7. patluver144

    patluver144 Police Officer

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    Eric,Calleigh,Ryan,and H are all playing twister in the lounge.
    H: Alright Left Hand On Yellow
    Eric: Oh Hell No! I don't bend that way!
    Ryan: Lucky for me I gotta better view of things!
    (Ryans underneath Calleigh) he gives Eric a guy look!
    Eric:(laughs) you little pervert!
    Calleigh:(confused) What's so funny?
    H: Oh nothing!
    Eric: See for yourself!
    (Calleigh looks down and sees Ryan drooling)
    Calleigh: OH MY GOD! You nasty PERVERT!
    (b slaps him!)
     
  8. MacsLovlyAngl

    MacsLovlyAngl Head of the Graveyard Shift

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    The Lab

    Cal: "Eric", what have you got there"? :eek:

    Eric: "Smarties Cal". :p

    Cal: "Well, what are you doing with the brown ones"? :confused:

    Eric: "I'm making "H" some edible sunnies :cool:

    Cal: "But why would you do that"? :confused:

    Eric: To make him look smarter". "Duh" :lol:
     
  9. patluver144

    patluver144 Police Officer

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    that's a knee slapper!
     
  10. xxcalleighxx

    xxcalleighxx Dead on Arrival

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    eric and horatio are oin the lab

    Horatio: what have you got for me there eric?

    Eric: just processing the evidence then i can tell you (pause) so what were yoiu doing last night?

    Horatio: Calleigh
     
  11. Lucy

    Lucy Colonial Fleet Librarian Premium Member

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    Just a reminder from the rules of this thread:
    Thanks. :)
     
  12. patluver144

    patluver144 Police Officer

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    Eric and Calleigh walk into the lounge after seeing the move Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End.

    Calleigh:(sitting down) Ahhhhh....great movie!
    Eric: I know!
    (Ryan walks in.)= He brings in peanuts!)
    Calleigh: Oooh! oooh! (grabs peanut!) My peanut!
    Eric: ( trys to grab one but none are left! Finds something else.) My cracker!
    Ryan: What the Hell? I don't wanna know!
     
  13. Carolyn_333

    Carolyn_333 Pathologist

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    ~Quotes You WON'T Hear #2~
    or
    7 Sets of Things You'll Never Horatio and His Team Say.

    Set #1
    Ryan: Hey, H. Where are your shades???
    Horatio: I left them at home.
    *loud gasp from the team*
    Eric: Don't you need to go home and get them???
    Horatio: Nah. I'll muttle through without them.
    *even louder gasp from the team*

    Set #2
    *team LOUDLY chatting and laughing among themselves*
    Horatio: SHUT UP, PEOPLE!!!
    *team goes silent*
    Horatio: Thank you. I have an announcement I wanna make.
    Here it is. I'm gay and I'm in love with NY CSI Mac Taylor.
    *loud gasp from team followed by sounds of them hitting the floor as they faint*

    Set #3
    Alexx: Horatio, sugar. Would you hand me that big scalpel???
    Horatio: Sure. Alexx, honey.
    Alexx: Don't you get fresh with me mister.
    Horatio: Or what??? You'll spank me???
    *Horatio bends over*
    Horatio: Go ahead. Spank me. I love a good spanking.
    *Alexx stares at Horatio with her mouth hanging wide open*

    Set #4
    Horatio: OK Team. Go out there and win.
    Calleigh: Horatio. This is a crime scene.
    Horatio: No it's not. It's war between us and the night shift. Now, GET OUT THERE AND FIGHT!!!
    Calleigh(in a shy, cowardly manner): Yes sir.
    *Calleigh walks over to rest of the team*
    Calleigh(to Ryan): He's crazy.
    Ryan: Round the bend.
    Eric: Fell off his rocker.
    Alexx: Got hit upside the head.
    Stetler: No. He just needs a good old fashion kick in the butt.
    Speedle's ghost: What he needs is his shades he left at home.
    *Stetler faints. Everyone else runs off in different directions...screaming*

    Set #5
    Horatio: Stetler. You hunk of IA officer. Where are you??? I find you so sexy I wanna madly, passionately make out with you.
    Stetler(to Ryan while hiding from Horatio): Get out of here. You want him to find me???
    Ryan: Yeah. I do.
    Ryan(to Horatio): Hey H!!! Stetler's over here!!!

    Set #6
    *Horatio bumps into someone*
    Horatio: Sorry about that. Hey!!! Aren't you Erik Estrada from CHiPs???
    Erik: That's right. I am.
    Horatio: Can I have your autograph???
    Erik: Sure. Where should I sign???
    *Horatio drops his pants*
    Horatio(looking at Erik and pointing down): Right here.

    Set #7
    *Horatio is doing something in front of where he parked his Hummer*
    Stetler(approaching Horatio from behind): Horatio. What are you doing???
    Horatio(pointing to a sign): How do you like it???
    *the sign reads "Reserved For LT. HORATIO CAINE"*
    Stetler: That's an unauthorized sign.
    Horatio: It is authorized.
    Stetler: By who???
    Horatio: Me.
    Stetler: You don't count.
    Horatio: Yes I do. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10...98 99 100 101 102 103...315 316 317 318. Told you I count.
    *Stetler is asleep, snoring, on the hood of the hummer*
     
  14. Need4Speed

    Need4Speed Coroner

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    HAHAH!!!!!! these are great!!!!!


    Ryan:uh Calleigh?
    Calleigh:yeah Ryan?
    Ryan:what the hell is H doing?
    Calleigh:uh lets ask him.
    Ryan:Hey H!!
    H:yes Ryan? Calleigh?
    Calleigh:what are you doing?!?
    H:what does it look like? i'm painting Stetler's car hot pink :devil:
    Ryan and Calleigh:eek:hh we want to help!! :devil:
    Ryan:eek:h but wait. he might like it too much :lol:
    H and Calleigh: :lol:
     
  15. Carolyn_333

    Carolyn_333 Pathologist

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    I call this set of quotes:
    HOW MANY PEOPLE DOES IT TAKE FOR HORATIO TO FIND OUT WHAT TIME IT IS.
    This is short as I can make it and include everyone.

    Horatio(to Ryan): What time is it, Mr. Wolfe???
    Ryan: I don't know. I don't have my watch. Eric, what time is it???
    Eric: What do I look like??? A clock??? I don't have my watch either. Calleigh!!! What time is it???
    Calleigh(looks at watch): My watch has stopped. It's been exactly 11:15 a.m. for 3 or 4 maybe 5 hours by my watch. Hey Natalia. Do you know what time it is???
    Natalia: Beats me. I had to send my watch back to the factory. They haven't sent me a replacement yet. Hey Frank. Do you know what time it is???
    *Frank is mad at everyone except Horatio. Horatio is the only one who remembered Frank's birthday*
    Frank: NO!!! *swiftly walks off*
    Natalia(quietly about Frank): Snob.
    Natalia(loud enough for Stetler to hear): Sgt. Stetler. Have you got the current time???
    Stetler: Nope. I left my watch at home. Hey. Valera. Do you know what time it is???
    Valera: No. Someone stole my watch and there's no clocks in the DNA lab. Hey Cooper!!! What time is it???
    Cooper: Don't know. I was gonna ask you. Wait a sec. I think I might know who to ask.
    *Cooper enters the morgue...timidly*
    Cooper: Alexx...uh Dr. Woods, I mean. Do you have the correct time???
    Alexx: Sure do, sugar. It's 3:18 p.m.
    *Alexx points to the clock over the doors Cooper came in through*
    Cooper: Thanks, Dr. Woods.
    *Cooper runs through the halls of the lab yelling...*
    Cooper: According to Dr. Wood's clock it's 3:18 p.m.
    Horatio: Never mind, Mr. Cooper. I no longer care what time it is.
     
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