The Rant & I Cannot Say This Out Loud Thread

To person:
Thank god you've gone out of twn for a whole week! I hate you so much right now. We were supposed to be friends. Sure I got mad, but that was because you were doing drugs and i told you from when I first met you that if you ever did drugs I couldn't be your friend. Then you use my sexuality against me in the fight when you yourself are bi? like wtf! I act all cool about it, like it doesn't bug me, but it does. It bugs me that you would use my secrets against me like that. Thank god I didn't tell you my biggest secret. But you, or anyone else will never know how much you've hurt me since monday. seriously, on wednesday I picked up my razor when shaving and actually considered cutting. But luckily the world will never find that out. I'll go up to people, or I'll post on the internet, which is your preffered way of doing things anyway and make a comment that shows I don't give a damn about what you say. But I do, and I know I shouldn't. But after continuously calling me a lesbian whore, dumbass bitch, dyke that should go die, a wannabe lesbian (still don't get that one) and a c*** licking slut, it makes me feel like a worthless being that no one likes. I hate you so much.

To self:
I love you so much for not breaking yet. You can hold on. You proved you can resist hurting yourself by throwing the razor. keep it up

 

To Allie: Good for you

To stupid idiot of a friend: I do not care if it wasn't for me! It still hurts me that you would say that. You are soo extremly stupid. You upset me so much. Yeah, it might not be for me, but do you think I care? SHE IS MY BESTFRIEND YOU IDIOT! Best Friends are supposed to laugh when their bestie laughs, cry when they cry, feel hurt when they feel hurt, I don't care if it wasn't for me, IT WAS SO MEAN! I would like to smack you right now...really, really, really badly. Bitch.

To my friend: Today was a lot of fun! Haha, even though we probably made Aaron want to jump off a bridge . I really did have so much fun, kind of took the bad week off my mind. Not that it was a bad week, but just stressful. Thanks!

To ______: I think I might like you, but I can't tell you this, you will never know.

To me: I don't think this is very good...you probably shouldn't like her...this is not good.

 

To little kids: When I say stop I mean STOP. Try listening to me next time BEFORE I yell at you and make you cry.

To Dad: I can't believe you already got fired. you didn't even have that job a week. GOD you're such an idiot! id it ever run through your head even ONCE that it just MIGHT not be a good idea to show up to the work party drunk and high off your ass? Don't you think? And I can't believe you threw a MACHETE at my mom when I was younger! What the Hell?!! You threw it at HER because she wouldn't let you go out and kill some guy?? What the F*** is wrong with you?! I officially disown you right now. Don't ever talk to me again.

 

^^ Awwe huggs

To person: Wow you're so lame. So the devil's going to fire a gun at me and you're going to be the bullet? Interesting. But since you've already condemed me to hell I'm best friends with the devil. Maybe I'll get him to blow your brains out.

To Dad: awwe, you sent me a birthday letter. That makes me so so happy, even if it's a month early. I hope you call in a month. I want to tell you something.

 

to my dear sister: whenever you'll live on your own and have to pay your own rent, bills and groceries of a little student loan, you'll understand why i'm not spending my money on rather unnecessary stuff. you can mock the heck outta me for as long as you want for not spending 12 EUR for a new cell phone battery. and, yes!, i can live of 12 EUR for a week. cause i don't buy all that fancy makeup of yours. you don't have to pay for all the nice things you have. mommy and daddy do. so until you have to pay everything with YOUR money: shut up and stop making fun of me!!!

to the university administration: i'm soooo mad at you for raising tuition fees again!! how could you??? where does all the money go that you get from everybody? are you doing freakin origami with it?? if i have to pay all that money, i want a proper education, substitute professors and working copy machines! you get freakin 700 EUR from me each semester! and from the other 4500 students, too! *gah* give me my money back or finally do something productive with it (and i don't mean buying another mercedes)!

 

To my Girlfriend:

Am I losing you, what is wrong. Dont i give you enough attion. What is it that makes you walk away more and more from me. What makes me feel so far away and pushed away. Is it me or is it you? I know that i have been scared for things espacialy for people to come to close to me, but we talked about it. And i thought you understand it, but i have more and more the feeling that that isnt true. And just one other thing, you know that i love to listen to you, but it also a bit nice that not everything is about you, just give me a change to talk about my feelings or problems just for once. I am not asking for more than that. Just listen to how i feel and what is on my mind, because you dont have a clue. You dont know how bad I feel, and i do know how you are feeling or what is going on in your mind (i've it comes to yourself i mean). I dont know what you think of me anymore and that even scares me more. I dont know what to do about it. I wish i could tell you this and you could help me but I dont know how.
Please love, i like and love you so much dont want to lose you and not on this way. Where do we stand on the moment, TELL ME!!!

To my roommate:

Leave Lilly alone, she is getting better from her operation and she is a tiny animal, i dont want you to wake her up when she is asleep. Stop naggin about her making noices when she eats or clean herself, she cant help it. She is just a Cat and she having this thing around her neck so she cant remove her stitches. So dont laugh, hurt or be kind to her. I dont want you to. Leave her alone.
And one more thing stop singing the hole f**cking day it bothers me and me makes me mad or cranky. Arggg.. You are a pain in the ass on the moment.

To Myself:

Stop it. Just stop it. You make everything so worse, dont complain about everything and do something about it. Dont hide yourself in your bed and own little world. But walk into the world. You are driving yourself grazy and stop doing that. Start to take some action in your life. And get a life. :devil:

 

Yay for our free education (it includes universities)

To myself: Perhaps you should forget uni. Raised in normal enviroment, countryside and in a farm and parents have no high education, the 'sophisticated words' never got to your dictionary early and there's lots of those term in these studies. Perhaps you should give up.

To teacher: Do you really need to use the English terms and just add something so they'd look Finnish? I mean, if there is a proper FInnish word, why on earth you cannot use that? DOes it give your teaching higher status when you use words like that? And they say kids ruin Finnish language.

 

To Aunt:
I appriciate you telling me how f*cked up my family is. Thank you, I haven't lived with them my entire life. I've been here for all the fights, you only heard sides of the stories, I was a seven yearold who listened to my parents fight, I watched my mom drink, my brother get high, and my dad slowly disconnect. I've been here for it all and I didn't need you tell me all of it, I'm too young to face up to it, and I don't think it's your place to tell me to go see the school conselour.

To my Mom:
Stop drinking, I need you to be my mom, my sober mom. Stop lying to me, stop hiding sh*t from me, and stop hiding behind Miller Lite. Sure, I don't mind if you drink at social events, but every night is ridiculous. I refuse to have people over anymore, your embarassing when your drunk. I've needed you so many times over the past couple years and you weren't there. Than you ask why I never tell you anything. You're f*cked up and I blame you for making me as messed up as I am, maybe if you went to my tennis matches, or a softball game, I wouldn't be so screwed up.

To my brother:
I understand you now more than ever, and I suppose I accept you, even though your a bit of a screw-up but I am too. I guess we're just mommy and daddy's little f*ck-ups. I just want you to know, that whenever you need something I'm gonna be here, day or night, don't hesitate to call me. I'm going to to miss you and I wish you'd stay in the state but I understand where your coming from.

 

To my roommate: Agh! You so should so like, go to anger managment!! I am covered in scratches and bruises from you beating the shit out of me today!! Okay, so I attempted to do the same in return, but yeesh, I don't think I was that bad. Now I hurt all over

To someone: Don't tell me what to regret. I will no longer regret anything. I do not regret anything, even if I have done some really stupid things. I do not regret the worst night in my life, I do not regret the long weekend, I do not regret dating her, I do not regret the scars the cuts I gave myself. I learned something from every situation, and it may of taken a while for me to see that, but these things have made me a stronger person. And I now refuse to regret them, even if you think I should.

To my neck: Oh my god, stupid neck. I don't know if you hurt because Allie beat on you, or the fact that I slept on boards of wood, but gosh, you should stop hurting, it's painful!!!

 

To Levon: I'm sorry for beating on you all weekend, but you drew blood and left a bruise on my arm.

To self: what are you?? You see yourself with girls and yet want guys to notice you. What is wrong with you???

To *****: I wish we were as close as we were before. You always seem to be complaining or making fun of me now. I don't like it. It makes me feel so sad and depressed. You're the only person I told about what I almost did last week, and the first I told when I thought I was gay again. I feel like you don't want to be this close to me anymore. I feel that if you get a new girlfriend I'll be pushed out of your life. I know all my friends would side with you if we ever got in a major fight. I don't want to lose you.

To *****: Do I like you? I don't know. Some days i feel like walking up to you and kissing you, then somedays I feel like were we're at right now is just perfect.

To *****: That made me so sad today when you said I really didn't know you. I'm your best friends, or so i thought. You're my bestfriend. Am I yours?

To ****: Don't resort to alcohol!

 

To #1 Friend: I love you. Just so you know, we're getting an apartment in Australia when we graduate. I'll be telling you tomorrow.

To #2 Friend: You're the most gorgeous person I've ever met, and I don't even think you realize it. I'm going to miss you more than you'll know ... probably more than most of my 'close' friends.

To #3 Friend: It's hard to be a good person around you, and frankly, I don't want to put in the effort any more. Maybe if you stop shit-talking everyone you see, especially if they're my other friends. Oh, by the way, it's not US she doesn't want to talk to, it's you, so stop telling us lies. I'll take her word over yours any day of the week.

 

To my mom:
What the hell is your freaking problem? Whenever I ask you if you could please do something for me, you snap and tell me no. But when my cute, little perfect sister asks, you'll do it. You drive her anywhere and never complain about the fact she doesn't have her liscence yet though she's 21. But you keep nagging about me not having mine. And I'm 22!

Jana was right. I need to get a job and leave this place. Only in that way I can be free and totally independant. You tell me I'm overweight, but yet you keep providing me with new cloaths and when you buy chocolate you still give.

You don't wanna drive for me tomorrownight. I had to ask a friend if she can come pick me up and drop me off a few hours later cause my own mother doesn't care how I get there and manage to get my uniform back home. You just leave me here to rot and I have to make it on my own.

 

To My Friends:
Thanks so much for calling me this weekend. NOT! You guys are being so lame.

To My Sister:
Wow, real Chanel purse, Thanks, I'm really excited.

To My History Teacher:
I hate you. a 10 page packet in a weekend. GOSH! your such a b*tch.

 

AshleyWillows i know how you feel about the history homework. but mines is English which is even worse and its about Greek mythology and all that bullcrap!

 

^Ughh that_girl1, I don't even wanna think about English, I have to learn how to analyze poetry by 9 AM tomorrow.

To my sister:
Stop being so loud. Dad's sleeping and no one gives a crap what's going on on Disney channel. Why can't you just play quietly? Like a quiet child. AHHH! I want to smack the living sh*t out of you.