The Rant & I Cannot Say This Out Loud Thread

To my roommate: You are a creepy stalker. But I love you. Bahaha, I don't care if I woke you up yesterday to be honest, because CSI:NY was so dramatically exciting. I just appologised cause I knew you wouldnt've left the room and would've made stupid comments all throughout the episode I am so mean.

To someone I cannot stand: I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY do not like you. I'd rather like, go swimming in a dark lake then have to stand near you. And I hate dark water. Infact, I hate dark water, and don't care that much for swimming either. Aghh, I hate you!

 

*claps*

To all the BYU Mormons: Stop being such hypocrites.

To my moms dog: I can't BELIEVE you just ate my fortune cookie you jerk! That's the best part of Chinese food.

To my teeth: If you stop hurting RIGHT NOW we won't have to go to the dentist and go through more excruciating pain... please stop hurting... pleeeeaaaase....

 

*just shares a hug and hopes the pain will go away*

 

To myself: I have no clue what your thinking. You don't get "prepared", it justs let's you go. Your crazy.

To Joe: Dude, I'm so mad at you but I can't be because it's none of my business.

 

To my mother: Okay mom I know you love me and everything but for once would you just shut your mouth. Every word that comes out of that hole in your face is dripping with negativity and pessisism. I don't need that in my life anymore. And I don't seem to understand how I do a million and one things for you and yet you still find a reason to bitch at me. Having a stressful day mom? Well I'm sick and tired of you taking it out on me. Take it out on your precious boyfriend, or better yet, the reason behind your stress. And would you please stop criticizing me! Yeah I aint perfect, but I'm not the complete f**k up you make me out to be. I do a lot for someone my age, and yet you still find a reason not to be happy. And then you say "Why don't you ever tell me whats going on in your life?" Want to know why? Because you never listen! Everytime I try to talk to you about why you're bugging me or why we are fighting you interrupt me, and I hate being interrupted, and then you go and spin it so it sounds like I am the one in the wrong. Guilt is your weapon of choice, and you use it so well.

To my friends: Would you so kindly quit with all your bullshit. I am sick of having to stand there and deal with all your useless, attention seeking drama. You bring all these problems upon yourself and you do just so that you'll have something to do! You're so bored?...Go get a ball. And when I do tell you to act your age and stop acting like such a child, dont get pissed at me, its for your own good. Oh and Courtney, I swear if you don't stop doing the annoying laugh thing, stealing my seat in the car, asking me for money all the time, I will hurt you. You make more money than I do! Where's all your money going? Oh yeah, drugs and stupid shit. I do not want to keep giving you money just because you can't save it. I have to live too. And this Scott guy, yeah hes hot and all, but give me a break. Hes dirty and lazy for the love of god. You always start out this way. Thinking that some guy is great, falling for him, me telling you to be careful, he breaks your heart, and then you come back to me expecting me to pick up the pieces. I'm so sick of it, act your age and learn from your mistakes. Oh and Rachel, quit with the whole whoa-is-me act. And stop saying that you have ADD. I know youre only doing it to get the adderall. And I have to say its the most pathetic thing I think ive ever seen.

All of you are the prettiest fools I've ever seen.

 

Thanks, it did

to little bro: If you go to summer school I will never forgive you. You have all the time in the world to make up work and what are you doing? Watching t.v. Nothing I say can make you listen, hopefully you'll get it when you're grounded all summer.

 

to myself: what were you thinking? i have no idea what to do now. how do you get out of this crazy mess you have gotten yourself into?


to my mom: thank you. thank you for being there for me, always. thankk you for being my best friend through all the stupid mistakes & mess-ups. i love you.


to a friend: what did i do now? why do you feel like ignoring me is the best thing right now? NOW, when i need my friends advice. you should grow up & realize that there are other people in the world besides you.

 

To my friend:
I'm sorry, i'm not mad, i hope you aren't, i shouldn't have been such a brat. I was in a bad mood and took it out on you, I'm sorry Still besties?

To myself:
Your an idiot. Why would you do this? You dug yourself into a hole and the light is way too far off.

To *******:
Well, I partially thank you for this rut I'm in. Your the best, worst, and strongest influence in my life all at the same time. I wish things could go back to how they used to be. When we could sit together without thinking bad things, we didn't even have to talk when we hung out, when each other's presence was just enough. Of course, I'm to blame as well but I miss you

 

To that guy:

Ok, obviously you still didn't get it. You still email me. Well, thank god I have an option so I black your emails. And I just did. I know you are not a bad guy but that's just plain irritating. Have a nice life.

 

To self:
Don't be so freaking lazy. You have tons of things that need to be done but you just sit behind your computer or watch tv in bed and do nothing.!!!!

To my mother: Will there ever be a day you tell me I look nice or beautiful? Will there ever be a day you tell me I m matter?!

 

to my family: So what if i quit track? deal with it man! it just wasnt for me and stop calling me lazy because at least im getting good grades and not failing! have you at least though of that as a positive?

 

to my dad:

why am i not good enough for you? i don't understand how can you be an awesome father to your sons but not to me. was i that bad of a mistake? i have tried and tried to get you to be proud of me but it seems as if it could never happen, no matter what i do. my brother can make mediocre grades and you give him praise, he can be a benchwarmer on his baseball team and you are there for all the games. i graduated with honors and didn't even get a damn 'good job'. all the plays, concerts, marching band competitions, science olympiad competitions, academic team competitions...where were you? i am your only biological child and yet you treat me like i don't even deserve to carry your name. you have forgotten your past and created a new life with a new family. unfortunately i'm forever linked to the past you left behind. i'm so close to saying screw college, screw my job and going back home. it was a mistake thinking that if i moved in with you things would change. you didn't want me 14 years ago and i don't know what in the hell made me think you wanted me now.

to my mom:

thank you for always being there for me, thank you for raising me, for picking up the pieces when i fall apart, for supporting me even when i make stupid decisions, for being my best friend and the most understanding person i know. i love you.

 

To Dorette
Damn you! I tried to find you all day!!!!!! Where are you when I need you, damn it!

 

To myself:

Its okay to feel so sick, its okay to have this terible migriane, dont walk away from it. Let it be and take youre rest for it. Its okay to sleep alday and take some meds against it. Dont worry to much about it and be nice to yourself.

To my Parents:

Thanks for this nice gift I love it and thanks for dropping by. Its nice to have you over even when i feel so sick. I lOve you!! And I am so happy that you are back from your holiday.

To Lilly:

Dont ever do that again, it makes me so mad. YOu stupid cat. You have a litterbox for that and not my carpet. I am so angry on you for now, so stay away and go to sleep or something like it. But dont come to me to cuddle because i am not in the mood for it.

 

To Lizzy:
You freaking b*tch! I hardly know you but you see my msn screen name ... C(L)D and the first thing you do is call my ex and ask her if we are back together again..
What gives you the right to do that?! Who I love is my bussiness and not yours. I freaking don't even know you, damn it!
And thanks to you my ex figured out who it is I am in love with. Yes, my ex girlfriend who goes to school with me knows I am in love with a teacher! Thank you for ruining my school life, you idiot!
Now my ex laughs at me behind my back, the one person I didn't want to know.. knows! Thanks to you. If I catch you on msn you'll be a dead girl! I am so freaking mad I could kill you!!!!!

To self:
Don't do this to yourself. Don't read her online journal. The entries are over a year old. She used to love you back than. Don't read the poems, the stories in which she wrote what we did together. Don't read the "I love you's"
And get that feeling of sorrow out of your heart. Get the painfull feeling of guilt out of your head. You made the right decision.
But reading those memories still hurt. Why doesn't time make it easier? I am in love with someone else, though she doesn't know.
Don't read her journal. All you had, is over. Move on. Forget the "I love you's".

I am just afraid never to be loved again.