CSI:Miami - "Road Trip *puts on shades* Number Nine."

:lol: Carly, you are so awesome. *huggles the mustard poster*

Lora, that is quite a few chapters. :lol: I've got one up on the Bible and pocket dictionaries.

*puts on the bionic fingers*

As always, thanks for the reviews everyone! (I'm starting to sound like Horatio now...Uh oh, lol. Well, my hair IS red-ish)

***************

Hummerhome, 10am

Horatio: *sings* On the road again, oh we're on the road again.

Calleigh: We're actually sitting at a red light.

Horatio: ...We're still on a road.

Calleigh: Yeah but we're not technically 'on the road'.

Horatio: The wheels are touching the pavement, ergo, road. Ergo, on the road.

Calleigh: You're actually on a chair.

Horatio: A chair that's on the road.

Calleigh: Actually the chair is attached to the floor.

Horatio: A chair on the floor, on the road.

Calleigh: Actually the floor is suspended over the tires.

Horatio: Back to my original statement. On the chair, on the floor, on the tires, ON THE ROAD.

Calleigh: Not if you count the teeny rocks.

Horatio: *narrows eyes* WE'RE ON THE ROAD!

Speed: *eating chinese food* Hey I got a question for you, Calleigh. When a Hummerhome rolls down a hill, falls off a cliff, slams into the ocean, sinks to the bottom and gets crushed, does it make a sound?

Calleigh: Very funny.

Speed: Well you seemed to have all the answers today. I thought I'd ask before you ran out.

Calleigh: *grabs chinese food from Speed*

Speed: *frowns* Um, I was eating that.

Calleigh: Now you aren't. *eats*

Delko: Does this mean we're going to fall off a cliff?

Speed: *staring at Eric*

Delko: What?

Speed: Are you serious?

Delko: I'm just curious.

Speed: Do you see any cliffs?

Delko: I'm watching clifford the big red dog on TV.

Speed: *grabs remote*

Delko: HEY!

Speed: *turns off TV*

Delko: I was learning.

Speed: Yeah okay fine. If I want to find out the difference between periwinkle and pink, I'll be sure to give you a call.

Delko: But I'm right here.

Speed: *shakes head*

Horatio: NO!

Everyone: *looks at Horatio*

Horatio: No bird is going to poop on my Hummerhome. *grabs giant rod*

Carly: Where did you get a giant rod from?

Horatio: *rolls up sleeves* Okay everyone, stand back.

Delko: *runs to back of Hummerhome* OKAY! I'M READY! SMASH THAT SEAGULL LIKE IT'S 1989!

Horatio: *climbs up emergency hatch*

Calleigh: Oh dear.

Horatio: *standing on hood of Hummerhome* DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

Seagull: *waddling on hood*

Horatio: *swings rod*

Seagull: *poops*

Horatio: MY HUMMERHOME! *swinging rod*

Seagull: *jumping*

Horatio: *smashing Hummerhome hood*

Seagull: *jumps*

Horatio: I'LL TEACH YOU TO DEFLATE YOUR BOWELS ON MY HOOD!

Inside Hummerhome

Speed: ...Did I hear that right?

Calleigh: *sympathetic smile*

Outside on hood of Hummerhome

Horatio: DAMN 20-17 VISION! *throws rod at seagull*

Seagull: *jumps up, bites Horatio*

Horatio: OW! *slips off hood* OW!

Seagull: *pecking at Horatio*

Horatio: NOT THE FACE! AHH! NOT THE HAIR!!! *screams* NOT THE SHADES! *flailing*

Inside Hummerhome

Delko: Should we...Help him?

Speed: The guy can bring down drug lords and defuse bombs but he can't whack a bird with a stick.

Delko: Can you?

Speed: I'd shoot the damn thing.

Jess: *rubs chin* He's definitely losing his edge.

Delko: How can we help him get it back?

Katie: I GOT IT! *snaps* Okay, crowd around I have the perfect idea.

Delko: *rubs hands together* Ooh what's going on in that Katie mind of yours.

Katie: Oh you don't even want to begin to imagine. All right, what we do is...*whispers*

Speed: Why are you whispering?

Katie: Suspending suspense.

Speed: For what?

Katie: My fans.

Speed: What fans?

Katie: ...Okay maybe I'm a littler crazier than I let on.

Twenty minutes later

Horatio: *sitting at cardboard table* What is this about?

Calleigh: *places papers on the table*

Horatio: Hey they're color coordinated.

Katie: *reading papers* The Guide to Becoming Horatio Caine. By Katie.

Horatio: Sounds complicated.

Katie: Oh it is. Rest assured, Horatio Caine and Horatio Caine will meet and there will be a wedding.

Horatio: I don't get it.

Katie: You don't have to. *turns page* Page one. Learning the One-Liners. Repeat after me. *clears throat* We. Never. Close.

Horatio: I KNOW THIS ONE! I KNOW THIS ONE! The Holiday Inn.

Katie: *blinks* ....Okay repeat after me. *clears throat* They never listen.

Horatio: Your in-laws. *laughs* I love this game.

Katie: *rubs forehead* Okay let's try something else. *flips page* Okay, lesson two. Interrogating suspects. Calleigh, sit down across from Horatio.

Calleigh: *sits*

Katie: *hands over script*

Calleigh: *reading script* Wacha gonna do, copper?

Horatio: ...I don't understand.

Calleigh: *reading* I'm a gonna bust a cap in da hood.

Horatio: *squints* Is this that...Netspeak thing youngsters are always jabbering about these days?

Katie: *tilts head* Close.

Calleigh: *reads* Watch out, red. I'm a comin' for your family. I will take everyshing you lurve.

Horatio: DIE! *pulls out gun*

Katie: *grabs gun* WHOA, WHOA. No, we do not threaten the actors with weapons.

Horatio: Sorry.

Katie: Calm down.

Horatio: *nods*

Delko: Can I try? Can I try?

Katie: Sure.

Delko: *rips paper from Calleigh*

Calleigh: HEY.

Delko: *reads* You and my sister are getting ma...*frowns* Katie...

Katie: Mhm?

Delko: How is this supposed to fix him?

Katie: OH! Whoops, that was the 'Ruin Horatio Caine' page. *crumples paper* Haha, my bad.

Delko: *places hands on hips*

Katie: OH OH! THAT'S IT! Horatio, stand and place your hands on your hips.

Horatio: *stands, places hands on hips*

Katie: Okay now in the coolest, most sultry and sexy voice, put on your shades and say -

Horatio: When worlds collide?

Katie: *laughs* Um yeah not in this lifetime. Say something natural.

Horatio: Something...*puts on shades* Natural.

Katie: ...I'm in the wrong business. *shakes head* Forget it. He's ruined.

One hour later

Delko: ...Are we there yet?

Horatio: I'm not exactly sure where 'there' is.

Delko: Oh...When will we know when we're there?

Horatio: When I say so.

Delko: ...When will that be?

Horatio: When we get there.

Delko: Can we cook tacos?

Horatio: No one's using my stove.

Delko: Pfft. Your stove.

Horatio: Who paid for it?

Delko: ...You did.

Horatio: And who's driving this thing?

Delko: *twiddles thumbs* You are.

Horatio: Very good. That means I'm the boss.

Delko: ...So what does that make me?

Speed: An idiot.

Delko: *scratches head*

Jess: Hun, don't worry about it.

Delko: Okay.

Katie: I just had the strangest image of Eric running around in a diaper.

Everyone: *looks at Katie*

Katie: ...I said that outloud, didn't I?

Anni: Yeah.

Katie: I knew it. I was saying it, but I didn't stop.

Speed: That shouldn't be a surprise.

Katie: And what is that supposed to mean?

Speed: Nothing.

Katie: Tell me.

Speed: It was nothing.

Katie: Are you saying I never stop talking?

Speed: Have you paid attention to yourself lately?

Katie: Way to be supportive.

Speed: It's okay. We'll get you a muzzle.

Katie: HEY! *slaps Speed*

Horatio: Guys, please.

Katie: SUCCESS! HORATIO SAID SOMETHING HORATIO-LIKE!

TBC.................

 

:lol: Interestingly enough, I had to get a new keyboard because all of the letters were missing, lol. Y'all know me so well.

I'm also glad the new thread name is liked. I didn't think it would blow over so well.

*************

Miami Lab, 12pm

Trace Lab

Lilly: *looking through microscope*

Ryan: *walks over* Got anything?

Lilly: I thought you were still working the paintball case.

Ryan: I passed it over to the night shift.

Lilly: How commendable.

Ryan: *tilts head* They needed to wake up.

Lilly: Weak.

Ryan: Thanks.

Lilly: *stands stright, crosses arms* The substance is a spice.

Ryan: Spice.

Lilly: Oregeno to be exact. *grabs paper from print, walks over* GCMS also kicked back traces of marijuana.

Ryan: Oregeno and marijuana. To fool the cops?

Lilly: Kids are sneaky. I once went to school with a bunch of guys who mixed weed with grass, orgeno and bleach.

Ryan: Did that throw off the scent dogs?

Lilly: Actually the dogs spotted it faster. You combine all these chemicals together and it's even stronger. Kids think it'll fool the dogs and the cops.

Ryan: So the victim in the highschool had oregeno and weed in his locker.

Lilly: Yeah.

Ryan: Now all we have to do is find out who beat him in the head.

Lilly: Actually I think I have a murder weapon.

Ryan: How?

Lilly: I spoke to Alexx about the head wound and she took some subcutaneous photos. *hands over folder*

Ryan: *looks down* Some kind of pattern.

Lilly: Small stripe, scattered dimples...Basketball.

Ryan: *lifts head* A basketball killed him.

Lilly: No, the murderer killed him. The basketball will help us find him.

Ryan: You thinking it's someone on the team?

Lilly: We can start there but I want you to take a look at something else. *points to microscope*

Ryan: *looks through scope* Okay, what am I looking at?

Lilly: Shaving cream.

Ryan: Where'd you find it?

Lilly: On the victim's locker.

Ryan: The kid didn't look old enough to be shaving.

Lilly: I think it came off of the killer.

Ryan: Maybe he was going for the drugs.

Lilly: Could be motive.

Ryan: *nods* I'm just glad highschool doesn't last forever.

Lilly: Yeah.

Ryan: So uh...You doing all right since Katie clipped you?

Lilly: I'm fine.

Ryan: Good.

Lilly: *looks down at table*

Ryan: Um, about what I told you a couple of months ago...I was just messing around.

Lilly: *opens folder* I understand.

Ryan: I hope you didn't take it too seriously.

Lilly: *smiles* Don't worry about it.

Ryan: Yeah....

Lilly: *reading folder*

Ryan: *sigh* Lilly, I...I wasn't entirely...Truthful.

Lilly: With what?

Ryan: Just now. I wasn't messing around.

Lilly: *looks at Ryan*

Ryan: I meant it.

Lilly: *staring at Ryan*

Ryan: And when you got hurt...I didn't know what to do. I was so worried, scared, angry I just...I care about you.

Lilly: Well the last I recall, 'care' wasn't exactly how you put it.

Ryan: *scratches head* I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just blurt it out.

Lilly: It's not like it wasn't obvious, Ryan.

Ryan: What do you mean?

Lilly: Speed told me.

Ryan: He...What?

Lilly: He said you had...Feelings for me.

Ryan: Um...It's probably nothing.

Lilly: So you always tell people you love them?

Ryan: No.

Lilly: Then I don't get it. Either it's nothing or it's something. Which one is it?

Ryan: Look, ever since...Ever since we were shot at in the crime scene, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I can barely make it through an hour without wanting to see you. When you got shot, I was scared to death. I...Didn't want to lose you.

Lilly: *shakes head* Don't.

Ryan: Don't what?

Lilly: We're just supposed to be friends. Nothing more.

Ryan: What are you talking about?

Lilly: Just stop. I didn't ask for this.

Ryan: I can't help how I feel.

Lilly: Yeah well maybe you should.

Ryan: What the hell is your problem?

Lilly: Look, I don't want to drag you into this. *takes off latex gloves* I'm off the case. *leaves*

Ryan: Lilly! *sigh* ...

TBC.............