~Quotes You WON'T Hear #2~

ok i got a good one!!! This is not meant to be offensive....just funny so just so you know... i'm not trying to offend anyone...

*Ryan and Eric are in the locker room kissing passionatly*
*they see a flash and hear a voice yell "damn we left the flash on"* Ryan and Eric turn and look* *they see a whisp of long blone hair and a hand holding sunglasses disappear behind the lockers*
Eric: Do yopu think they saw us, babe?
Ryan: I hope not.....

the next day...... a friday...

*the weekly news letter for the lab is being handed out*
Eric: why have people been gawking at the two of us all day??
Ryan: you don't think they got a pic and put in in....oh no...
Both: THE NEWSLETTER?!?!?! *they find one and read the front* *they see a big pic of them kissing..it took up most of the cover...with a small subtitile: A secret revealed!!!!
Eric: OMG!!!
Ryan: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Calleigh:*hearing Ryan and Eric's screams*(to H) you think they know??
H: yep...
Natalia:this explains so much.....
*Eric and Ryan walk over to calleigh and h* Both:What the hell were you spying on us for?!?
Calleigh: you know me..i'm naturally curious...
*they both chase Calliegh and H*

 

Ah! Ya'll need to get your heads out of the gutter. Okay you can stay alittle while longer.

Calleigh:*openes locker door*
Ryan: Why are leaving this early?
Calleigh: I'm going home to dye my hair pink. Wanna come?
Ryan:..........................................[/long delayed silence]

 

I just got this idea from watching the beginning of an episode before! I hope it's not too bad!

Horatio and Frank are at a crime scence of a burnt out car with a body in it.
H: So, what have we got Frank?
Frank: Well, the car belongs to. . . (Horatio is staring into the distance) Ahem.
H: (still not looking) What?
Frank: You know most people think it's polite to look at someone when they're talking to you.
H: I, Frank. . . am not most people.
Frank: (thinks about sunglasses, Hummers and red hair). . . well you got me there.

 

*Alexx is alone in the mourge* *Eric and Calleigh walk in*
Eric: Alexx we need to reprocess th body
Alexx: ok Eric...
*Alexx goes to open the cabinet the dead body is in, she stops and starts to laugh*
Calleigh: Alexx what is it??
Alexx: somone's replaced all the name cards of the dead bodies...
Eric: and that's funny how....????
*H hears the commotion and Alexx tells him waht happened and Calleigh and Eric still don't know what's so funny*
*H reads the name card out loud* H: Seymour Butts?!? *Calleigh and Eric giggle*
I.C. Wiener, Ophelia Rass?! *Calleigh, Alexx and Eric burst into a fit of hysterical laughter* *H continues* H:Al Coholic, Ivana Wizz?!?*they all laugh loudly* ...wait a minute...
Calliegh: what...
*He reads the last one* H: Tim Speedle???
*H opens it* *Speed jumps out and yells BOO!!!!* *Calleigh screams in shock and chases him for scaring her*
*shouts can be heard from the hall*
Calleigh: TIMOTHY SPEEDLE!!!! GET BACK HERE OR YOU"RE GONNA BE A DEAD CSI!!!!!!
Speed: HA HA YOU CAN'T CATCH ME YOU"RE TOO SLOW CAUSE YOU'RE JUST A GIRL!!!!!
*Eric, H and Alexx are watching* *Calleigh tackles him to the ground*
Calleigh: you wanna rethink that last comment?!? *as she holds a gun to his head*
Eric:*to Speed* I told you not to mess with her, dude...
Speed: ha ha, funny Delko...thanks i'll remeber that next time.....*his fingers are crossed bbehind his back and he is smiling mischeviously* :devil:

 

^^Continue..
Horatio: Why the hell were you smoking the evidence??
Speed: H. This is not. What. It looks like.
Horatio: Oh so what, the Trace lab has been turned into a giant 'fog' machine?? You can't see a thing in here!
Eric: *trips, falls* I found my gear!!

 

ooohhhhh i got a good one!!!......

Frank:So our vic is Sarah Johnston, she was headed to her mom's place acording to her friend....
H:well it looks like....*he rummages his pockets*
Frank:Horatio? something the matter???
H: I can't find....my sunglasses *sob*
Frank: you sure you had 'em??
H: frank, when don't i have them???? and i can't be Super H with out them!!!!!!!!
*Ryan shows up and takes out H's sunglasses*
Ryan:It looks like *puts on sunglasses* she never made it...
*H glares angrily at Ryan*
H:RYAN WOLFE!!!!!!!!!!! GIVE THOSE BACK!!!!!!!!!
*Ryan runs and throws them in the pool*
H:RYAN!!!!!!! what did you do to my poor baby!!!!!!!!
*H pushes Ryan in the pool but Ryan grabs H and pulls him in too* *H pushes Ryan's head under and holds it there*
*Calliegh comes over and sees H and Ryan*
Calleigh: Horatio!!!!!! What are you doing!?!
H:He threw my baby into the pool...now he's gonna pay!!!!
Calliegh:well we don't need to lose another friend.....*Calleigh jumps in and attempts to pull H off Ryan* *Ryan escapes and runs away*
H: that will teach him to mess with my baby!!!


i got another one.....
*Alexx is alone in the mourge* *all of a sudden she hears a loud bang*
Alexx:what the.....????
*Bang*
*Alexx walks over to where the bodies are stored....the noise is coming from inside one*
*Alexx opens the door* *Ryan jumps out and yells*
Ryan: BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
*Alexx screams...then realises it's Ryan*
Alexx: RYAN WOLFE!!!!!!!!! you little.........
*she has a stern angry look* *ryan runs out and alexx is chasing him* *Ryan runs and hids behind Eric*
Eric:Ryan...what the hell??
*Eric sees Alexx running twoards them*
Eric: Ryan, what did you do now???
Alexx: That little rat scared the living hell out of me!!!
Eric:how??
Alexx: he was banging on the door from inside the body cabinet and he jumps out at me.......
Eric: i think you may have scared the hell out of him*as he glances back to Ryan hiding behind him*
Alexx: good...it'll teach him to mess with me..*she smirks*

 

*whistles* Whew...your quotes are really long. :lol:

 

well they're more like scenes....they usually aren't but these were to funny to pass up!!!

i just thought of this one....

*Ryan sees H's sunnies on his desk and h is no where to be found* *ryan reaches for them and thinks theres no one around so...*
H:Ryan!? what do you think you're doing???
Ryan:H i was, uh......i won't touch them again..
H: Good boy....*he grabs them and puts them on*..smart idea...

 

Eric: So, our suspect was murdered with the 9.
Speed: O rLY?
Eric: Yeah...really.
Speed: SerI0usly??
Eric: You shouldn't of gotten that damn laptop with the MSN.
Speed: HA, ur an id10t.

Calleigh: No more budget cuts, more pay, less work time...ah.
Horatio: So it's all changed for the better. We're free of the budget cutbacks now.
Calleigh: Are we?
Horatio: *nods* Yup.
Calleigh: So....what are we gonna do with all this extra money?
Horatio. Dunno.
*silence*
Calleigh: ... I have a feeling that something utterly bizarre and hilarious was supposed to happen. Did you do something?
Horatio: Well....i was myself.
Calleigh: Yeah that's probably the problem.

 

I just got an idea from that one Need4Speed! It probably not as good as yours but I'll try. . .

Ryan sees H's sunglasses and H isn't around. Ryan reaches out to pick them up but as soon as he touches them, every light turns red and sirens blare around the lab.
Ryan: What the -
H lands in front of him in the Super H costume.
H: I am sworn to protect the sunglasses of justice! Without them, this good city is doomed. For I am (grabs sunglasses and puts the them on) Super H!
H flies away, the lights go normal and the sirens stop. Everyone walks around like nothing happened.
Ryan: 0_o

 

Ryan: com'n Calleigh we're going to be late for "H"s and
Marasol's wedding.

Calleigh: So what, it's me that should be his wife. If she
wasn't going to be killed off in the next episode
I'd shoot her myself.

 

Haha, fastffodjunkie.

Ryan: Hey H, what is it about you that makes you so...amazing?
Horatio: Well, my young Ryan, the force must be within you.
Ryan:...
Horatio: Ryan...I am your father.

Okay, sorry for the whole Star Wars thing. *hides from Star Wars lovers*

 

no....it's ok.....i'm a huge star wars fan (i'm a bigger CSI: miami fan though) and i thought it was hilarious.......

*it's halloween...there's a party at Calleigh's..and every one is waiting in thier costumes for Eric* *The door bell rings* *Calleigh answers it...a strange woman is at the door...*
Calliegh:Can i help you???
*when the person talks she realizes it's none other than Eric.....!!!!* *he walks in and everyone's jaws drop....*
Ryan:*hums**then sings* Dude looks like a lady!!......

 

i have one, but it may not be good. well, here goes...

ryan, calleigh & eric is in the break room when suddenly...

Ryan: hey Cal, i have something to ask you.
Cal: (turning to ryan) what is it?
Ryan: (going down on one knee)Cal,will you...
Eric looks in disbelieve.
Cal: Omg. Ryan...
Ryan: urm, will you pass me the tissue paper please? i spilled some ketchup on my shoes. thanks. (smiling)
Cal: oh. hmm. ok. here you go. (gets up and walks off)

Eric walk towards Ryan and smack his head.
Eric : don't ever go on one knee, unless you're proposing.
Ryan : huh? what? (looks down & realise he was on one knee) ouhhhhh.


ok. omg. im bad at this. its my first try.

 

Hehe, I thought it was funny. Ketchup on his shoe.. :lol: