feels flattered, thanks guys Next Chapter After I called Grissom I put my coat loosely on Robyn’s shoulders so it would hide the wound. “Can you walk?” “I guess, with a little effort” I gave her my hand as a support for her to stand up. The same I had done with Tracy earlier. I felt tears escape my eyes. “Sara, what’s wrong?” “This, I am helping the girl who kidnapped my best friend but tried to prevent her being shot and got shot herself. It’s a little confusing…” “I know this must be difficult for you, but I didn’t hurt Tracy, I promise.” “You are a good person. I should trust you and see you as a friend, it’s just that Tracy was very special.” “Remember, I’ve known her since we were nine or something. She was always there if anyone needed a friend or shelter from Susan and her friends...” “But you and Tracy were Susan’s friends…” “No, it only looked that way. Susan only had three real friends. Tony, Jack and Katie” “Who are Jack and Katie?” “Dealers, they are very violent and were going to kill my sister if I didn’t cooperate.” “Where is she now?” “Vegas” “We need to get there asap” “I can’t… This wound is literally killing me…” “Okay, then I will go alone, I guess that your sister is at home now?” “Yeah” “Let’s go down” I opened the door and helped Robyn walk down the stairs, into the elevator. >>>64>floors>down>>> When we walked out of the hotel, we saw that Grissom was waiting in the van. There was a crowd of people standing around something on the corner of the street, I could only guess what it was. Robyn saw me staring and said wisely “If it’s any consolation, she didn’t feel anything” “She didn’t deserve this, she deserved to be happy.” We both went in the van, I helped Robyn get in, and Grissom sped off.
chapter 41: “Sara, Robyn needs help!” Grissom said with a slight hint of panic in his voice. “I can see that! The only problem is that when they find out it’s a gsw they have to report it to the cops.” “Guys, I’m fine for now. Here’s the plan. I can go on with this wound for some time, as long as the bullet’s in place I won’t bleed out. It hasn’t hit any vital organs, just my shoulder. We drive to Vegas and go to the hospital there. If they ask how it happened, say I was busy cleaning a pistol and I asked you to have a look at it. You picked it up and it fired, my fault, I left the clip in while assembling.” “If you are sure you are up to the drive, it’s a perfect plan, when they check if there were any robberies or similar in which a teen got shot, they won’t find anything.” I thought out loud, it was a great plan actually, she just needed to hold on during the drive. “I don’t think we can take this risk. If anything goes wrong, you will most likely end up dead!” Grissom replied “I’d rather be dead than in police custody, or let any of you get arrested.” “Why? There is life after jailtime you know…” “I know there is, I just don’t want it. If you are an ex convict, people treat you differently, they won’t leave you alone in a room with their stuff, afraid you might steal it. If you go to the gardening shop to buy an ax to chop wood, they think you’re going to kill them. People will never trust you again. I can’t go to prison, I’d kill myself.” “Is going to prison so bad that you would give up the rest of your life to get out of detention?” “Yes, it’s not like my life is worth anything anyhow. I should have jumped off that tower when I had the chance.” “Look, I’m not going to say that you shouldn’t take your own life, I did that before and it worked out miserably. Just know that we started to care about you, and you matter to us. How about your sister, wouldn’t she be hurt if you were dead? She is important to you, otherwise you wouldn’t go out of your way like this to save her.” “She means the world to me, she saved me more than once. One year ago, Susan forced her to do something or she would kill me. If she would tell me I was in danger, Susan would kill the both of us.” “What did Susan want her to do?” “Kill Greg Saunders” “Did she do it? I thought Tony killed Greg…” “True, she refused to do it, instead, she protected me from Susan.” “How did Susan react?” “She was furious, and got her revenge. She framed my sister for a robbery she didn’t have anything to do with, she was with me at the time! She was sent to prison and got out a few months ago. It was her first crime and she is still a minor.” “So, has she picked up the pieces of her life already?” “She can’t. She is an ex convict, Susan made sure everybody knows. She can’t get a job, can’t get friends, her own parents despise her. I am the only one who knows she is innocent.” “That must be difficult for her…” “She’s a wreck! When I walked into her apartment a few weeks ago, I found her next to an empty bottle of Tylenol. I took her to the hospital, she went through the whole activated coal procedure and was nearly sent to a psych ward. When I took her home again, she never said she regretted what she had done.” While Grissom and Robyn were chatting in the cabin, they didn’t see me crying in the back of the van. I just only realized that I was the one to blame for this. I convinced Grissom that we shouldn’t go home when we were at the movies, if we were there with her, Tracy wouldn’t have been abducted. I am the one to blame for her death, although I didn’t pull the trigger, I wasn’t there when she needed me. I deserved to be laying on the pavement in front of the Four Seasons, not her! It was so easy, I just had to protect one person, and I couldn’t even do that. Nobody’s Home ~ Avril Lavigne I couldn't tell you why she felt that way, She felt it everyday. And I couldn't help her, I just watched her make the same mistakes again. What's wrong, what's wrong now? Too many, too many problems. Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs. She wants to go home, but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes. Broken inside. Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why. You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind. Be strong, be strong now. Too many, too many problems. Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs. She wants to go home, but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes. Broken inside. Her feelings she hides. Her dreams she can't find. She's losing her mind. She's fallen behind. She can't find her place. She's losing her faith. She's fallen from grace. She's all over the place. She wants to go home, but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes. Broken inside. She's lost inside, lost inside... She's lost inside, lost inside...
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX X ! WARNING ! X X Possible SI-Trigger X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Usually I’m the last person to give out warnings about stories, but this time I think it’s very important to do. In the next few chapters self injury will be mentioned and practiced by the characters. This will remain within the PG – 13 limits though I DID NOT WRITE THIS TO ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TO START SELF HARMING BEHAVIOUR. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY THE MENTIONING OF SI, DON’T CONTINUE READING. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX X Stay Safe X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX “Sara, why don’t you find a motel or something” Grissom said while he helped Robyn out of her seat. He still hadn’t noticed I was crying in the back. He closed the door and carried her in, leaving me behind. I sat in the back of the truck for another hour, thinking, crying more. After I got my emotions a bit together, I opened the back doors, got out, climbed behind the driver’s seat, took my key out of my pocket and drove off. When I was on my way for ten minutes and still hadn’t decided where I was actually going, I spotted a huge supermarket and entered the parkinglot, parked the van and got out. I missed Vegas, it smelled so much different from San Francisco and Miami. I walked into the store and got a cart. Walking though the aisles, I put things in, strawberries, water, a bottle of Coke, tissues … I was on her way to the register when she walked though the personal care aisle. When I was near the end when she spotted something from the corner of my eyes, a pack of razors. I looked at them for a second and slowly put the pack in my cart. “Good evening” the girl behind the register greeted her with a friendly smile. “oh, hi” Sara said, way too late and distant, it was still obvious she had been crying her eyes out. “You all right?” “I’m fine” Sara told the girl while nervously tapping the floor with her foot. “Be careful, these are very sharp” the girl said while scanning the pack of razors with a scared expression on her face. “Don’t worry.” “Ten dollars please” “Ok, have a good night.” I walked out of the store and climbed in the van, I didn’t have the energy left to start it though. The tears came welling up again, an hour later I was still in the same position, still in tears. I started the car and drove to the nearby motel. The cheap neon “Vacancy” sign was turned on. I parked her car and waked to the front desk. “Helloo, what can I do ya for?” An overweight, unshaven and probably unshowered man said with a beer bottle in his hand. “A computer? I walk into a motel, what could I possibly want?” “No need to get angry!” “Sorry, my life is a little ruined at the moment, I took it out on the wrong person” “No problem, we all have bad days you know eh?” “How much is a room?” “Thirty bucks a night” “Here’s enough for two nights” Sara said as she pulled out three twenty dollar bills. “Kay, have fun” the guy said as he handed her the key. She walked back to the van, got the bag from the grocerystore out and opened the door to the cheap room.
OH MY this can't be good, I know how she feels at the moment..... I had a rough go when my mom got MS and when my parents divorced about six or seven years ago, but I do hope that she doesn't actually kill her. I have a friend that was prounouced dead for twenty two minutes (legally dead after eleven) and he came back and I am happy he's still with us. I use to be like that but ain't anymore and its a good feeling. Anyway update soon I can't wait for more! You put such good raw emotion into your chapters.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX X Possible SI trigger X XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX After I entered and placed the bags on the small desk, I pulled something from under my sweater, it was a small music player. After placing my headphones over my ears, I started a song. Please, please forgive me, But I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll look up, And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one: "Isn't something missing?" You won't cry for my absence, I know - You forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant...? Am I so insignificant...? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me? I laid down on the bed, curled up into a little ball, the tears came flooding back to my brown eyes. When the song was over, I started it again and reached for the pack of razors I bought. I opened the package and took one out, it was one of those old fashioned double edged razors, ultra sharp. I looked at if for a few minutes, tears running down my cheeks. Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't someone missing me? Please, please forgive me, But I won't be home again. I know what you do to yourself, I breathe deep and cry out, "Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?" Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't someone missing me? I once met someone who cut himself with a razor on a regular basis. Not to end his life, but to feel he was still alive. His depression and issues had taken their toll on him, he felt like an empty shell and the pain let him know he was still here. I felt the same way now, slowly I moved the razor to the outside of my wrist and started to pull it across. And again, and again. The pain made me feel like I was normal, I was just like any other fifteen year old, I felt the same pain. And if I bleed, I'll bleed, Knowing you don't care. And if I sleep just to dream of you I'll wake without you there, Isn't something missing? Isn't something... Even though I'm the sacrifice, You won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. "Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?" >>>The>Next>Morning>> I woke up because my cellphone rang, it was Grissom. He told me he was going to stay with Robyn in the hospital for a while. “Great!” I spoke to myself. When I laid back down on the bed to get some more sleep, I saw the cuts. When I looked at them and the bloodstains on the bed, I started crying again. >>>Hours>Later>> I finally got out of bed and noticed the cuts were still present. I took some of the strawberries I bought earlier, they tasted good, red and sweet. Beautiful, sweet, perfect little fruits. I decided to get some more so I left the apartment, locked the door, got in our van and drove back to the store. I picked out a box of strawberries and a first aid kit. At the counter, I ran into the same girl. “hi” “Hello” “Told you they were sharp, did you cut yourself during shaving?” “Something like that” she looked me in the eyes with an expression she knew, she knew how I felt, she knew about the razors and the first aid kit, she knew what I did last night. “Here you go, that’s twelve dollars.” “here” “good day and stay safe” “bye” She grabbed my hand as I picked up the bag “I mean it” I nodded and she let go of my hand. I walked out of the store and drove back.
Next one: I'm going to update sooner, if I find the time I carefully cleaned the wounds with the alcohol soaked gauze that was included in the first aid kit, that stuff stings… When that was done I bandaged them. Quite content with how well the bandages held, I treated myself to a few strawberries. After making sure no one would find the first aid kit, the razors and the blooded towel, I got in the van and started heading towards the medical centre. After finding out that there was just over-the-top happy music on the radio, I turned it off. I wasn’t in the mood for people singing about how great love is. It sucks. My sweet Grissom was in the hospital with another girl who he barely knew. Okay, I was kinda irrational because she had been shot and had saved my life, but I still missed him. I couldn’t be mad at him or her, she saved my life for god’s sake! I should do what she wanted, find her sister. I fished my cellphone out of my pocket and dialed Grissom’s number. “Gil” “Hi! It’s me” “Sara, what are you doing?” “I’m going to find Robyn’s sister” “Good, that’s the one thing she wanted” “Wanted? What’s wrong Grissom!” I quickly drove the van to the side of the road. Was I angry at someone who saved my life and got killed doing it? “Sara… Robyn slipped into a coma half an hour ago…” “Is she going to make it?” “We don’t know, maybe…” “I need to find her sister, fast… What’s her name?” “She didn’t tell me… The last thing she said is that we should find her sis..” Tears were rolling down my face now, we needed to find this girl, we needed to find her fast but we didn’t even know her name. If these drug dealing friends of Susan got to her before we could, she was probably dead. “Grissom, where do you find the name of someone’s sister?” “I guess you should find her birth certificate” “Too difficult, you have to wait weeks to get one, I think we should have a look in our old school’s records.” “Do you think she attended it?” “I know, Robyn always shouted to teachers that she was sorry she wasn’t as perfect as her older sister. I guess she used to be an ideal student” “Much like we, huh?” Grissom said jokingly “Do you think this is funny?” “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that…” “It’s ok, you should stay in the hospital to guard Robyn. She might be in danger.” “I know, I’ll stay here.” “Well, I have some breaking and entering to do.” “Why?” “I can’t just walk into the school during the day, people recognize me and I disappeared. They think I’m dead, remember? Plus, those records are confidential, they shouldn’t give them out and my guess is that they aren’t going to give them out to runaway ex-students who should be in school, but instead are trying to save someone’s sister’s life when that someone....” Grissom cut me off mid sentence “I get your point. Happy hunting” “bye” “bye” I threw the phone on the passenger’s seat and started the engine again. “Mission Impossible 4”
Is anyone actually reading this? Next Chatper: >>The>Girl>From>the>Grocery>Store’s>Point>of>View>>> “5:20” was displayed on my alarmclock. Time to get up, I always hate getting up, I am forced to deal with the world again. I can’t just hide away in my dreams anymore. I got up and looked around. It was a total mess, what do you expect in a free apartment? The floor was old, made out of wood an extremely uneven with holes here and there. The walls that once had a nice coat of paint were slowly starting to crack everywhere. Windows had broken a long time ago and were replaced with wooden boards. The only light-source in the room was a small dirty light bulb that flickered once in a while. Stepping over the heaps of dirty, old clothes, I got to the living room, getting dressed wasn't necessary, no way I was going to sleep on that ratty old bed without clothes. I liked some protection between me and the rats. In the livingroom I found Sam and Paul, sprawled over each other, drunk and stoned. When I walked past them to get my things, Sam grabbed my leg. "Sam! Leave me alone" "Cassie! Help me, please!" "I really don't have time to do this..." But still I pulled her up and sat her down on one of the old, dust covered chairs in the room. "Sam! Why do you do this to yourself? You can be so beautiful and smart, instead of being that, you are here in this mess, with bloodshot eyes and veins that are even more damaged then your self esteem." "Cassie, I know, I should get clean but please, please get me something." "What?" "A friend of mine has something for me" "Drugs?" "Yes, but if you don't... I'm going to get into serious problems..." "Sam! In case you haven't noticed, you are wearing dirty, blood stained rags, are addicted to drugs and alcohol.." "Please! I beg you! You need to help me... Just this once, it’s the last time" This wasn't the first time this happened, I just couldn't get past the fact that I couldn't help her. I sighed and started speaking again "All right! but only if you go into rehab, ok?" "I am, I really try to get off of this shit" "Please, pull yourself together, you don't deserve this life. I am not going to let you spend your twenty first birthday underground, okay?" Sam nodded, already drifting off, thinking about her new high. I walked out holding a card she shoved in my hand, I knew the address, it was of one of the cities largest drug dealers. “Me and my big mouth”
School's really busy at the moment, so I'm very sorry about not posting in a while and this being a really short chapter. I am going to try to get a new one up soon though. >>Sara’s>point>of>view>>> To be good at this, you needed to be invisible, blend in into your surroundings. Unfortunately, in my situation, that meant that I’d need to dress like ordinary girls at our school. I remembered the supermarket I visited earlier had a clothes section. Five minutes later I parked my car in the small parking lot and entered the store. This was difficult, I didn’t really know what was “hip.” This was like the most basic thing teenage girls did, be pretty and wear fashionable things. I didn’t know how… I realized it was like I just skipped my rebellious teen years and went straight to being another boring adult. I started crying and ran out of the store. >>Cassie’s>point>of>view>>> I parked my car, a lovely, red, Volkswagen new beetle, three blocks from the building, I didn’t want it stolen or associated with drugs if I got caught. It was a gift from my father, he thought he could bribe me into liking him. Think again. After I grabbed a large sum of money probably necessary to buy the stuff for Sam, I climbed out and started walking. It was nice out, not too hot considering that it was Vegas we were in. When I reached the house, I knocked on the door three times with great force. It opened a bit and a man’s head appeared. “What do you want ?” “I came to pick something up, for Sam” “For Sam eh?” “yeah” “Well, Sam has some debts here” the man said while he opened the door, pointed a small gun at me and pulled me inside. >>Sara’s>point>of>view>>> I ran to the van, opened the back doors and climbed in. On the floor I pulled my legs up to my head and buried my face in my knees. It felt like if I curled myself up into a ball small enough, my pain would vanish. It always felt that way but I never succeeded in becoming small enough though.