Revelations

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by alprado, Aug 10, 2006.

  1. alprado

    alprado Victim

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    It´s my first fanfiction. I would like to read and reply, because english is not my first language. I try to explore new worlds. Thanks.

    ******** Prologue *******

    The down the events passed in the episode of the 6ª. Season (6.10 Still Life). Grissom and Catherine enter in home, are looking after all of the sides finding trails. ....
    CW: It is difficult accept the death whose itself loves.
    GG: 'Yeah', mum gave presents of native to the dad, after death of him. It put under the tree and of morning... the paper was all kneaded... and the sweater or the tie would be in the cupboard.
    Catherine looks at the Grissom as that frightened, he is speaking of itself.
    CW: That age you had in the epoch?
    GG: Nine.
    CW: A little boy. I am going to begin for the room of the Karen.

    And begins it leave, then Grissom continues the history.
    GG: It was a professor of botany..
    Catherine itself return and looks at him.
    GG: Arrived of the school in a humid and hot day, and puied to bed in the sofa, I watched TV. My mother led a soft drink but did not obtain wake up-him. Nobody explained me the reason.
    Catherine looks at the Grissom, nothing speaks. The scene is cut here.

    **** Chapter 1 ******

    They were called for attend a homicide, an infant was found in a deserted road by a walker that passed. He linked for the police and Brass was one of the first it arrive. It linked for the Grissom and asked that someone of the team went there, as Nick and Greg were working in a case of homicide in a hotel, Cath and Warrick in a black magic involving homicide suspicion, Grissom decided to go and called Sara for go joined. It was not prepared for what would go to see.

    They were joined in the car of him, nothing spoke. Came down joined and they were walking in the direction of the Brass.
    "The walker found the boy there is more or less 2 hours, be finding unlike kinds flowers. When it saw, ran up to road and of the public telephone and linked for us. "–It spoke Brass.

    Sara was to first it arrive, saw a boy of approximately 8 to 9 years, short black hair, had the strange way turn head. There was a stone nearby she, apparently, had beaten the head and died. If it went alone that, was with the trousers lowered to the knees and there were signs of rape. She gulped, hated who want that went the culprit of that. Grissom was walking soon behind Heals, when saw the boy, staunched sudden.

    It looked a ‘deja vu’, everything that he is going to conceal inside itself even came to surface with that scene. And it saw of news with 9 years and half, expecting mother in the door of the school, when a strange one approached saying that his mother was in the hospital and asked for go seek-him.

    He believed and gone with the strange one, that looked a boy of not more of 21 years. He entered in the car and the strange one led for a deserted road, he well that tried to leave of the car but the bolt did not open for inside interest of the passenger. He I get frightened but thought that would be everything well been stayed of mouth closed.

    But done not it stay, when the strange pair the car, held him and came from back, removed, at once, the pants and the short of the boy Griss. The strange one was fortress too for fight with him, well that the boy Griss tried but the strange one held his throat and said that otherwise stopped to fight he would break the neck of him.

    Griss equal and the strange one raped in the car, after satisfied itself, opened the door and played Griss for outside of the car. There was a stone nearby where the strange one played, was clear and he can see before of to be played that were far from the highway, he beat the head and dismayed.

    When woke up was dark, he was all sore, crying raised, tidied its short and pants, and crawled up to road.
    Everything this came the mind of Grissom before him arrived in the body. He loosened the suitcase that always carried and began to floor for backwards.

    "Hey Brass, you be able to have us called before, is not Grissom?" – It Heals speaking and when looks at Grissom, he is ashen and walking for backwards. "Grissom, what is happening? ".

    In this hour, Grissom dismays and everybody run for attend him.
     
  2. melbel

    melbel Pathologist

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    read this somewhere else but still great
     
  3. alprado

    alprado Victim

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    Chapter 2

    Sara was to first it arrive, magpie the head of Grissom with care and puts-to in his lap, giving slaps of light in the face for try revive-him. "Griss, chord." Afterwards whispering quietly in the ear of him: "My love, frighten not me of this skill". She really was frightened, never him had seen like this. "Heals, what happened with Grissom?" question the Brass that comes running. "Do not I know, he do not want to wake up", speaks Heals. "It is better call an ambulance". In this hour, Grissom begins it recover the conscience, "Not, is not going to call an ambulance. I am well, perhaps have been the heat". It is suffocated, is not going to breath right, but do not want leave-them more frightened.

    "Brass, link not for what does he speak, calls an ambulance, he is cold." Heals to feel that there was somewhat a lot strange happening. Grissom sat down and tried to raise, but the legs looked will not obey him. It preferred then stayed, as usual, of mouth closed. Not did not do that want to spoke, will want very. But be not obtaining organize his thoughts, the images came with a force, were him leaving fool of news. Then without want, the tears began it run for the face. Of a very strange form, he knew, that the boy puied to bed in that road had passed by the even though he, with a difference, he survived and now had conditions of go behind the culprit.

    "Gil, you are crying? By the boy?" It asked Heals.. "By me and by him". It was what Grissom obtained to speak. The ambulance arrived, the paramedic established that he was with the a lot pressure decrease and resolved lead-him for the hospital for more exams. While he be being put of stretcher in the ambulance, arrived Catherine and Greg. Ecklie call-them for help Heals, therefore looked that Grissom was sick. They saw being put in the ambulance. "But what happened here?" asked Catherine, "As was that he stayed like this?" completed the Greg. Brass and Heals answered barely joined: "He dismayed and did not obtain itself raise". The ambulance was although and they come back for the body.
     
  4. alprado

    alprado Victim

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    In the scene of the crime

    The boy had died there is more of 4 hours according to David, the legal expert. Apparent cause mortis: cranial injury. They removed pictures and collected all the possible evidences. Not alone by the boy, but knew internally that Grissom had some remembrance of this. It would be able to until be a case done not resolve. Sara thinks: "Grissom being led in a stretcher? It will be that he already dismayed like this in some another case and nobody never counted me nothing?" Catherine by its time thought: It will be that was the operation, the doctor spoke that be able to have problems. After all, stirred in the ear, the center of equilibrium of the body. But so long afterwards? Finally, Greg speaks aloud: "Someone has that speak with the Grissom, does years that he not strip right vacation. This can be tiredness!". It spoke environment believing in what be saying therefore already turns his leader work hours in a case and never him had seen sick.

    Both they complied with the head. They finished the work in the scene and they were for the laboratory.

    In the ambulance

    While be put in the ambulance, came the mind of Grissom the face of the strange one. The dark blue eyes looked a pond, alone itself road the surface. And deep, they looked to travel through you. It was highly, thin, had dark hair in the epoch, black. It used to use a ring in the ring finger of the hand right, with the symbol Alpha, betha and gamma, the symbols of the beginning for God, was golden and the salient symbols. To the extent that when pair of fight, he gave him a punch nearby the ribs in right interest, still had the mark of the symbols. Were with him, marked in its back. Asking to itself even: "Because after so long? It would be the even expensive one?". They arrived in the hospital, he was caused to a room for to be monitored and will do more exams. When it stayed alone, caught its cellular and linked for the Brass: "As are the things ah, Brass?" .
    "Gil, that devils you are doing?", claimed the Brass. "I am in a room of hospital, expecting to be examined and I resolved to link for see need to my help? ". "You do not have skill, Griss, we are finishing here and we go for the laboratory. It is good know that you already are better. Now, it leaves we will work us, his team knows what does therefore you taught to them". But calm, Grissom speaks that like this that power goes to the laboratory help and turns off the telephone. Nothing it do, for the time being. It need a paper and write everything that happened to him, remember of all of the details would be aching. But it had some relation with the case of today, he would be necessary be exposed.
     
  5. MacsGirlMel

    MacsGirlMel Mac's Personal Assistant

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    interesting story...I don't think it's your English really, it might just be the online translator, those things can get really wierd and downright funny sometimes with what pops out of them LOL. Anyway, keep going, I like it.
     
  6. sissi59100

    sissi59100 CSI Level Three

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    I agree with Mel, the online translator can give you strange words or expressions lol Anyway it's pretty good for a first fanfiction! If you wanna a beta reader, there is a thread where you can ask for help ;)


    Sissi :)
     
  7. alprado

    alprado Victim

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    thanks. I was looking for a beta reader and I find her.
    I will post after that my beta approve.
     

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