The Rant and I Cannot Say This Out Loud #3

To my piece of crap phone.
You did it again. And this time there's no excuses. I'm trying to switch you on for about hour now and you haven't got further than 'sony ericsson' title. I'm so frustrated by that. I don't know what wrong with you, only can imagine that you caught something like virus. I so wish i had pc so i could try to get out my files i stored in you, including all my edited pics and other stuff i will be needed to enjoy my life. I really don't want to loose you cause you're very good and almost only with which i can actually hear during phone calls. I don't have headphones anymore but otherwise your speaker was good enough for me. I know i'm completely lost without you. Please i need to revive you somehow at least to get out my files. If only service time wouldn't be gone. I will try to suck it up and move on. Still hoping to get you going again.
Forever loving you, your owner.

 

Dear Ticketmaster:

It should not be taking you 3+ hours to see if you have accessible seating available for a concert. If you don't that means I have to go and try and find other seats that will work for me and the longer I have to wait for your answer the less likely I'll be to find decent seating.

Long story short: Chop freaking chop!

No love,
CITB (AKA PA)

 

dear my all time fav phone!

thank you for your inability to resist Jon Togo pics, i knew that'll make you get going again. i know you're old and, mostly tnx to my former friend and classmate, you've been meeting the hard tarmac few times, even few times fell outta my own hands, but i still like you and i care your component health so i promise i try not to drop you so much. and i'm sorry for throwing you over the room this summer, i know i have serious anger issues and i'm trying to fix it. your fellow folk has also been flying towards walls and floors but its outfit has stronger stand due to its not-clamshell-operating.
anyways i'm thankful to all angels who helped me to finally revive you.
of course if i had enough money i'd give you the long wanted rest for you. i have even older phones over here but you're only who supports picture editing, e-mail, internet, cool software altogether.

thank you for living again and i promise i'll try to be nice to you and your fragile components and mechanisms.

your loving owner.

 

To So and So,

I am not interested in you.

 

To the stupid hole in the yard.
Why couldn't you have been visible Thursday afternoon so I wouldn't have stepped in you and broke my ankle?
The stupid hole was full of leaves so it just looked like leaves on the ground.

To my right ankle.
Couldn't you have just twisted or sprained real bad instead of breaking a bone?

 

to the weather: i know everyone in southern ontario is enjoying their snow days, but if you could please stop snowing by friday so i can fly home that would be great.

side note: i want snow days in grenada! :lol:

 

Dear mom/friend/brother: Please get off the cell phone when driving and DON'T HAVE IMPORTANT PHONE CALLS when behind the wheel especially when you don't have your seatbelt on!! Sheesh!

 

Dear Mother

Seriously? You seriously forgot to tell me that school was cancelled? You do realise that I spent close to two hours riding buses, one of which had a bratty little kid who wouldn't shut up, then had to traipse through the freezing cold snow for all of an hour searching the town for where the replacement bus service was (which, as it turns out, there wasn't and the bus that passes my school had been fully terminated) just to eventually give up and take the hours drive back home? I had to stick my feet in front of the heater for an hour before I regained feeling in them.

Yeah I know I should have charged my phone so you could call me, but you should have looked at yours before I left for school so you could see the text the school had sent you:scream:

 

^^ I wonder what kind of weather we should have that our schools would have been closed. Not even -40 did that and snowstorms either. Tho sometimes cold weather caused the fact our bus never arrived and it was a day home \o/ (and teachers whined how our parents should have taken us to school then "sorry, no ca do")

To my master thesis,
why oh why cannot you go forward. I know I should have studied Administration but it's too late now and I have to stick with you, even you are fun but I'd have so much more ideas to Administration. Oh well, i guess we'll eventually get thru this

dear SPSS
I hate you.

 

Dear FedEx:

If you're sending a package from Ohio to Minnesota, it probably isn't necessary to go through New Jersey, Pennsylvania and West Virginia to get it there.

No love,
CITB (AKA PA)

 

To shops...

No, i am not gonna give you my cell phone number or email for you to send me your stupid ads ,promotions milion times in a week.And salesmen , please stop looking at me like i did something impossible when i didn't want to give you my personal infos...
I know my rights. You want home adress, phone number,email... For what? What else? Maybe i should give my id number and my passwords too? Are you kidding ? I feel paranoid .