Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #20- "Save Me From Myself"

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Smokey, Dec 6, 2009.

  1. Nick3167

    Nick3167 Rookie

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Yay!! just got the computer to cooperate and just finished under the wire (I hope)
     
  2. NickyFan

    NickyFan Coroner

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Yay :) I'm glad you got it done! :)

    Can't wait for the stories to be up :thumbsup:
     
  3. Smokey

    Smokey Nickaholic Moderator

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Nick Fic Song Challenge
    Round 12
    [​IMG]

    Ladies and gentlemen, presenting round 12 of the Nick Fic Song Challenge! Thanks to everyone who participated! :)


    Here are a few guidelines for reading and reviewing:

    1. Remember, for now the stories are anonymous. Please do not reveal which story you wrote. We will unveil the authors next Sunday, April 25.

    2. Story authors/participants - Please leave feedback for each story. That's why we're doing this...so we can learn from each other and improve as we go along. And because this is anonymous for now, please remember to leave some feedback for your own story too. :)

    3. Lurkers - You are most welcome to read and review the stories too! We just ask that you follow and respect the guidelines here as well. The exception is that you may leave reviews for as few or as many stories as you like. (Authors - Please do not take offense if a lurker reviews only one or two stories or does not review yours.)

    4. Please make your feedback as positive and constructive as possible. Constructive means that it's meant to be helpful and it's said in a nice way. There will be zero tolerance for meanness here from anyone.

    5. Please try to make your feedback a little more than just "Good job" or "Nice story". We all look forward to hearing some thoughtful input on our work. :) And for now let's focus on the content of the story more so than the format, grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. For some people this is their first fic and/or English may not be their first language, and those are all things that a good beta could fix if this weren't a challenge. :)

    6. Feedback should be posted here in this thread and can be done all in one post or in several posts.

    7. Remember, we aren't voting for favorites on this or anything. We're just reading, reviewing, and enjoying! :)

    8. Attention readers! Feedback posts will probably contain spoilers. If you do not want to be spoiled, do not read the feedback until after you read the stories.


    And now, what you've all been waiting for...round 12 of the Nick Fic Song Challenge! Click on the "How You Like Me Now" link on the left to read the stories.
    [​IMG]

    Note: If you see an error in your story or any problems on the page, please PM Smokey ASAP.
     
  4. Nick3167

    Nick3167 Rookie

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    All I will say is that I am glad I was able to finish mine in time and will be reviewing the stories in the next couple days I did read 2 of them already but want to re read them before I give my review. I will say the 2 I read gave me an idea for another story so thanks for the tips

    By the way Smokey I love your new AVI very cute I hope you don't mind if I snag it to use in the future?
     
  5. Athersgeo

    Athersgeo Rookie

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Golly; there are some very good stories this round. I'll do a proper review once the authors are revealed, but I think everyone's done a good job :)

    As mentioned up-thread, I was a little (?!) bit of an over achiever this go-round and managed two stories and now that the other stories are up, I've posted the 'spare' story up at ff.net.

    Title: Ignoring The Universe
    Summary: A CSI and a Federal Agent walk into a bar... (CSI/NCIS crossover)

    Click to read

    Happy reading :)
     
  6. Smokey

    Smokey Nickaholic Moderator

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Thanks! And sure you can! Just give credit in your profile or somewhere. :)

    Actually, part of the challenge is that the authors do reviews before the reveal. :) If everyone could please do that, that would be great! We usually give a week before the reveal to give time for reviews.


    And left it up to me to choose! :lol: No fair! It was a hard choice, but I'll say that both of them were very, very good, so everyone should make sure to check out the second one on FF too!
     
  7. Athersgeo

    Athersgeo Rookie

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Ah. *tugs at collar* :shifty: Sorry. Later this evening, then. Once I figure out a way of reviewing myself without giving myself away...


    Thank you (and also *grovels*)
     
  8. NickyFan

    NickyFan Coroner

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Okay... on the reviews then :) Great stories again :thumbsup:

    The Nights of Horror
    You woke my interest with your story :) You could really make a more chapter fic with this one... it would be interesting to see what you would come up with. Give it a try, I know you can do it :)

    This story was an interesting idea... I liked that you used the song for this theme directly in your fic, not just the message of it :)

    Well done! :thumbsup:

    Much Too Young (1)
    You rated yourself out with this one :lol: But I'm kinda glad you wrote a sequel to your other story because your story idea has so much potential.

    As you know I really like your writing and your ability to come up with serious topics like the one in your story. I'm pretty sure it must have taken lots of research to make it seem so real and believable.

    Great work :)

    Time Passages
    Aww this was truely lovely and it is definitly yours :lol:

    I like how it started with Nick loosing his favorite assessory and then turned into something much bigger. It was realistic written and had a good story flow. I could see a conversation like this happening on the show. Nick and Brass talking together about times changing and things they would have wanted in their life.

    You wrote Brass very well... his sense of humour, his ability to listen and to lighten up serious situations was very true to character written in your story :)

    I somehow got the intention that in season 10 it was more clear than ever before that Nick seems to crave a family. I like how you used that in your story.

    Great work :thumbsup:



    So that's it for now... I'll review the others later :)
     
  9. Smokey

    Smokey Nickaholic Moderator

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    I don't know...I kind of like critiquing myself. :) You know, just put in there what you think you did well and what you think you could have done better. I think most of us tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on others. :lol:

    But...what do you guys think? Do you still like having the stories be anonymous when we review or would you rather just put up who the author is when we put the stories up?
     
  10. myfuturecsi

    myfuturecsi Corpse

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Doesn't matter to me..since I kind of ratted myself out..oops
     
  11. Smokey

    Smokey Nickaholic Moderator

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Duh. :rolleyes: Guess I could have remembered to change the name of the song, but now it's too late to edit.

    Anyway! :)

    The Nights of Horror - I agree with Nickyfan that this has the makings of a longer fic if more details were added. :) The word limit really keeps a story this big from becoming what it should be. You've really honed in on Nick's hatred of abuse, especially to women and children, and how, as the song says, he's had enough of this.


    Much Too Young (1)
    - Whoa! Scary start!

    Catherine to the girl in the bar! :lol:

    I think it's a very realistic portrayal of how this situation must be for parents. I think this is a side to Nick we haven't seen, but one that he could definitely be pushed to by all of the things he's having to deal with as presented here. :)


    Time Passages
    - I think both Brass and Nick are very much in character here. I like the way Brass brings reality to Nick's dream by saying how things aren't perfect. He should know, right? :) It could use a few more details to fill in some of the feelings, although the actions and words do tell a lot.


    Much Too Young (2)
    - Very, very nice! I like the character of John's and how he goes from being a bit of a smartass to being concerned about Nick at the scene. Love also the locker room scene at the end and the "elephant" analysis! :)


    Wanna Swing? - Well this is wonderful! :) Very original, and so true to Nick's character. "You can fly to the sun and back". Beautiful! :) Very nice summary too!
     
  12. Jacqui

    Jacqui Police Officer

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    My reviews:

    The Nights of Horror: I think you captured the theme of the song quite well and although he's a little OOC here, you have one of Nick's main drivers in place - he does what he does to speak for those who can't speak for themselves. Your story could benefit from a beta for things like grammar and structure. I think, as others do, that you have the beginning of a longer fic here - you should give a longer story a shot!


    Much Too Young (1): Right - I know who you are and I'm telling you, you need to stop kicking Nick's arse in story form. that said, what a horrifying thing to have to experience. You dream of your children growing up to be just like you, only to have to face the fact early on that their lives aren't going to be what you'd expected and hoped. I think the theme of the song really fits with this and is clearly what Nick and Mandy are both feeling. But I'm glad that Nick's found someone to turn him toward a more constructive way to cope with Sadie. Nicely done.


    Time Passages: Ah, Nick and Brass, Brass and Nick... my two favorite guys. How does one go wrong? I laughed at Nick's "What the hell is wrong with kids today?" Did he shake his fist and tell the punks to get off the lawn too? Hee... Anyway - You write Brass very well and I enjoyed his gentler version of "cut the crap and tell me the truth." Also loved that Nick told him. Those two have built such a great rapport over ten years and it's painted here very well. Lovely job!


    Much Too Young (2): I really enjoyed this story. I think Young Nick is captured very well - he really was a puppy, but you couldn't blame him for it. All the inner dialogue about what he should do and when was realistically put together. I also liked the fact that we knew that he was doing his best to tough out a horrible crime scene, but in the end he lost it. That was just honest. Very nice - well done!


    Wanna Swing?: Really great story to wrap up with - kind of lighthearted in nature, but captures the message of the song. "I'm a big boy!" Can't Nick see? Sheesh! I loved the imagery and kind of saw the swings as a sort of symbolism of childhood. Lenny re-connecting Nick with childhood, and all of his hopes and dreams, was so sweet and simple. Great work!


    Also, to Smokey's question - I kind of like not knowing who the authors are at first. It's fun to try to pick out who wrote what and even better, nice to see when people improve their skills. Just my two cents!
     
  13. myfuturecsi

    myfuturecsi Corpse

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    The Night of Horror:

    Very spooky. I liked how you kept in CSI form. Interesting. You captured Brass quite well and you added in Mandy-be still my heart. I'm sad for what happened to the little kid. It was heartbreaking. Great job!

    Much Too Young (1): I know who you are too, you fink. This was a good story. It hits home with me.

    I'll be done with the rest tommorow.
     
  14. Nick3167

    Nick3167 Rookie

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    Much too young (1)

    This story actually made me teary eyed I felt bad for Nick in this situation. I like the way this story was written in a way to show that once Nick realizes the problem he learns that he must not avoid it anymore and hit straight on.

    Much too young (2)

    I like that this story was going back to the beginning of his career when he was just starting out. It really captured the feelings that he as a rookie CSI must have felt (Kinda reminds me of when Greg first started out)

    I will read and review the other stories tonight! But good job to all the writers!
     
  15. Nick3167

    Nick3167 Rookie

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    Re: Nick Fic Song Challenge Thread #2- Ch #12- "Much Too Young"

    So, I guess I am o.k. to post the rest of my reviews since it has been 24 hours since my last post, right? If I am wrong SORRY!! ( have not been on this site in a while)

    Time Passages

    The reference about the past with and Nick losing his friend because of it. Getting upset about losing his sunglasses (I get just as bad this made me laugh). the camaraderie between Brass and Nick was priceless. my only problem was that there were too many spaces between lines (I were bifocals it made it difficult for me to read)

    The Nights of Horror

    This story is in need of some improvement and could be extended if done in the right way. A beta would be a good idea to get the minor details correct. The story could use a intro/summary about the background on this story. The only thing that could be changed in the writing style is try to have more depth in the details.

    Wanna Swing

    This was an easy story to relate to I felt like I was there. Having Nick go through an episode of confusion,then having a little boy make him realize he is not as old as he feels. the only problem I had (I mentioned this with Time passages the spacing again kinda difficult with bifocals)
     

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