CSI: NEW YORK - "Frigid Love"

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Brooklyn_Girl30, Feb 11, 2010.

  1. Brooklyn_Girl30

    Brooklyn_Girl30 Dead on Arrival

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    My First Fanfic,I'll try to keep it interesting....


    PROLOGUE


    Wollman Ice Rink, New York - Day.


    [​IMG]


    The Sun Shining Brightly reflecting light off the snow blanked that covered the city. People of all ages and walks of life are skating and enjoying the rare good weather in New York.


    Valenties Day is a few short days away, and the city is buzzing,getting ready for the big day.Love is in the air.


    February 14th is especially important to Jenna Berwick,as she and her boyfriend of 2 years will celebrating their anniversary. Jenna is an Ice Skater, she has been skating since the age of 3. But Will her passion for Ice Skating get in a way of true love???

    *****************************************************************************


    EXT. NEW YORK - DAY

    City streets, Central Park.

    A Couple in Wollman Rik is Lacing up their skates to skate on the ice. They are enjoying their time, when a man notices something on the ice far away. They Skate Up to the unknow object - Only to find a body of a young woman on ice in a blood pool.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2010
  2. Brooklyn_Girl30

    Brooklyn_Girl30 Dead on Arrival

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    EXT. Central Park - Wollman Rink.

    Police Cars have surronded the area.......Police are securing the area.


    Mac and Stella Arrive at the Crime Scene...They walk up to the body. Mac carefully examining the body.

    Stella: Death by exsanguination?......Looks Like she suffered a injury on her neck...causing her to bleed


    Mac (looking at the victim's neck): Whatever penetrated her neck was small, short - but enough to cause serious damage.

    Detective Don Flack Enters th Crime Scene

    Flack: Our Vic is Jenna Berwick, 29 years old. Her body was discovered by a couple that was taking a morning skate at approximatly 9:15 a.m. Police Officers are interviewing them now.

    Mac: Did anyone see what happened ?

    Flack: No, The Guy that works at the rink said she came in early....She was by herself........She was the only one there.

    Stella: Well judging by the state of her body - She wasn't.

    Mac: Looks Like We've got ourselves a cold blooded murder........
     
  3. Brooklyn_Girl30

    Brooklyn_Girl30 Dead on Arrival

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    EXT. Central Park - Wollman Rink.

    Flack, Mac,and Stella are at the crime scene.


    Flack : Blue Uniforms seacrched the Park they didn't find the murder weapon or track leading our crime scene.

    Mac: We take the body to the for an autopsy, maybe we find more clues there.

    Stella: What About the couple?

    Flack : Said they saw something strange from a distance, when the got close they found our vic.They are still pretty Shook up...


    EXT. NEW YORK - DAY. Crime Lab.

    Medical Examiner Sid Hammerback is examining the victims body...

    Observing for any evidence...

    EXT. NEW YORK - DAY. Crime Lab. Mac's Office.

    Mac sitting in his chair looking through files and old criminal cases.

    Det.Stella Bonasera walks in ......

    Stella: Hey Mac! Did some digging on our vic, Jenna is an proffessional ice skater, she has a boyfriend of 2 years. No Prior Criminal Charges on her...But Her Boyfriend has a history of getting Parking tickets.

    Mac: No One Filed a Missings Report ??

    Stella: Not That we know of...

    Mac(with a Stirred Look): Things are starting to look very bad for for her boyfriend....Let's pay him a visit.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2010
  4. GregNickRyanFan

    GregNickRyanFan Holographic Moderator Moderator

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    Hi, Brooklyn_Girl30. Welcome to the FanFic section. :)

    First off, I've got to give you kudos for doing your story in the screenplay format. I used to write original stories that way, but I found that the format took too long and I would constantly have to reference a book I had to make sure I was doing it correctly. :lol: I just got tired of writing in that format and eventually I just quit doing it. It takes a lot of patience to do that and I guess I'm just not as patient as I was when I was younger. :lol: It seems you have a better self-discipline than I do in that area. :) So again, kudos for that.

    Secondly, the story sounds interesting so far. Its almost like watching an actual episode. You have the forensic language down nicely and everyone was in character. Good job! Looking forward to reading more. :)

    Feel free to post in the Welcome thread and to take a look at the
    Friendly Reminder-All Read! thread. There are a few helpful guidelines in the second thread. :)
     
  5. Brooklyn_Girl30

    Brooklyn_Girl30 Dead on Arrival

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    ^^ Thank You!:) It's actually easier for to write in screenplay format, I wrote a few Plays back in the day...So...



    I`m working towards interesting...LOL:) And Thank You Again.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2010
  6. Brooklyn_Girl30

    Brooklyn_Girl30 Dead on Arrival

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    ***********************************************
    Yeah,
    Yeah, Imma up at Brooklyn, now Im down in Tribeca,
    right next to DeNiro, But i’ll be hood forever,
    I’m the new Sinatra, and since i made it here,
    i can make it anywhere,yeah they love me everywhere,
    i used to cop in Harlem, all of my dominicanos
    right there up on Broadway, brought me back to that McDonalds,
    took it to my stash spot,Five Sixty Stage street,
    catch me in the kitchen like a simmons whipping pastry,
    cruising down 8th street,off white lexus,
    driving so slow but BK is from Texas,me I’m up at Bedsty,
    home of that boy Biggie,now i live on billboard,
    and i brought my boys with me,say wat up to Ty Ty, still sipping Malta
    sitting courtside Knicks and Nets give me high fives,
    N-gga i be spiked out, i can trip a referee,tell by my attitude that I most definitely from…

    In New York, Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,There's nothing you can't do, Now you're in New York, These streets will make you feel brand new, Big lights will inspire you,Lets here it for New York!
    ****************************************************************************


    EXT. NEW YORK - MIDTOWN.

    Appartment Place, Long Narrow dark hallway,eerie athmosphere surrounds the apartments.

    Flack and Mac Approached Apt. # 442. Mac knocks on the door, Flack Slowly Draws his gun.

    No-one answered the door.


    Flacked backed up and kicked the door open. Mac and Flack Split Up -Slowly Moving around the apartment.

    A man walks into the apartment...Flack turns quickly his gun in front of him.

    Flack: Don't Move!

    Mac quickly walks into the room.

    The Young man raised his hands in the air -as if to say "I surrender".

    ********************************************************

    Mac: Can we help You ?

    Jacob: I'm the owner, I live here........

    Flack: Your Jenna's Boyfriend ???

    Jacob: Uhhmm...Yeah....

    Mac: Are You aware of the fact that your girlfriend has been missing....???

    Jacob: Well, She goes to Wollman`s Ice Rink in Central Park in the morning, Then she has practice. They Only Time we have with each other is late evening.....But even then she is too tired to just sit and watch TV together.

    Flack: Well as much as I hate to interrupt this "wonderful" conversation, But I think It Would Be Much Better in the Precinct......
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2010
  7. GregNickRyanFan

    GregNickRyanFan Holographic Moderator Moderator

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    So, vic's boyfriend. Wondering if he's telling the truth or hiding something. Can't wait to find out. Good update. :)

    I love Flack and Mac scenes. Their friendship always comes across nicely. :)
     
  8. MacsGirlMel

    MacsGirlMel Mac's Personal Assistant

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    Nice so far...can I ask if there's a pairing in it?
     
  9. lal

    lal Pathologist

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    Hi I'm liking it so far :)
     

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